What does a UGA grad look like?

You'll find out soon enough...you'll find out when my husband gets home with the camera. Today was a BIG day for my family. My little baby brother (the only truth in that statement is that he's my brother!) graduated today after a 7 1/2 year battle with UGA! We are so very proud. We weren't sure it was really happening. Not because he can't do it, but because he's been really close before. He took some "breaks" made some "choices" but in the end...the boy DID IT! I got up early (yuck) to ride with my parents...alone (unyuck!) to Athens to participate in the big day. We arrived to a sleepy boy...SURPRISE...luckily (or because he lost his mind) his door was left unlocked, so Gary was able to enter and give him a morning shake so that he could get to the Coliseum on time. Yeah for the carelessness of not locking your door!!! (I did say he was a UGA grad...HA) So, he came out in his graduation gown and we just squealed like kiddies! What a sight. Our little Andy in a graduation gown! He grabbed his tassel and hat and we headed to get the party started!

When we got to the coliseum he took off to get to the right place and we headed inside for seats. We just kept saying, "We can't believe this is really happening. Are we really here?" Andy's 20's were hard on our family. He is our greatest joy, and sometimes what will stop our heart. Precious I tell you. So, he walks out...SO CUTE! Gary spotted him first and we just screamed (Mom and I). We called him, since it was so quiet and he could hear us...whatever...so then we just literally called him on the phone. That is always so funny to me when you watch someone that is on the phone looking for someone and they're like, "I see you, do you see me. Look left...no right...alright, look at the man standing next to the lady in the ugly sweater! OH!" Well, he never really found us, but he knew which direction to look, so anytime anything happened he looked our way and I took tons of pictures. He just wanted to share that with us and we wanted to share it with him. It was good to know we were there, he knew we were there, but we all wanted to see each other. To make eye contact, to use those words that aren't words at all. Growing up with someone you learn how to speak without words, don't you? We wanted to say, "We see you big Mister! You did it! You look great...quit texting and listen!!!" He wasn't looking for someone else's parents, or siblings...no one else mattered. Just us. When everyone stood, it was our faces that he wanted to see. He didn't care who was standing...as long as it was us.

Who do you care about? Who are you looking for? When you celebrate those huge moments, or the mundane, whose face do you want to see? Yeah, for me...it's not always the right answer. It's the approval of everyone else. Like, "Look, everyone...I made it aren't you proud?" No matter that my Heavenly Father never leaves His throne and is always waving frantically..."Look UP! Do you see me waving? Do you see me swell up with pride that I am your Creator?" Andy looked our direction in faith. He knew where about we were standing and knew that since we could see him it was alright. The fist pumps, the joy, the satisfaction with finishing something well...we saw it. In fact, once we found him, we never took our eyes off of him. No one else in that place mattered to us. No one else had a story that could touch our hearts like his does. We only came to see him.

God does indeed care about more than us, but His attention is so very personal! This season is busy for everyone, but look UP! You may not see Him, but look in His direction and I'll bet you any money that you'll find Him. In fact He says that you will find Him when you seek Him with all of your heart. The shepherds found Him, the wise men found Him...He found me.

Gaps...

"So, what's Santa going to bring you kids? Are you on the nice list? I bet that one is." The gentleman in Chick-fil-A waited until we finished our prayer to ask. The kids looked at me with huge grins and Anson mouthed, "You say it, Mom." I shook my head a few times and we continued to "entertain" this man's question. What did Anson want me to say? Well, let me say that we don't "do" Santa. It's not a huge deal, we have just decided that's not how we want to spend our energy or our conversations. There are so many other wonderful conversations to have this time of year, we just don't "do" it. This is the first year we outright told our children. In the past we've sort of raised our eyebrows and grinned, we weren't sure what we thought. We are sure now. We don't want to do it. So, I made up a little song of what they, in theory, could say when all of the well meaning people of this world stoop to their level and say, bright eyed, "What's Santa gonna bring ya." This is what we sing...IN OUR HOME..."I'm a dirty rotten sinner on the naughty list, but I'm gettin' a Savior for...Christmas!" So, today that's what Anson wanted me to respond. I couldn't. I was caught off guard, or was I? Perhaps I chickened out. I could have said, "Actually, sir, no. They are getting nothing from Santa. Their father works hard and we will give them good gifts just like our Father gave us One." That's good...why didn't I think of that? Now I have my line. So, I left convicted. I didn't have to share the "Four Spiritual Laws" I could have just been honest. I don't like it that we have to pretend for the sake of others. I think that even while I type this, I'm not going to. So, I feel like I chickened out in front of my kids. Rats. (Thank heaven that right now Andrew Peterson is singing Hosanna! Praise God!...I love Pandora)

Then we went to the grocery store because I had not sufficiently run my children to the end of themselves. We got all of our ingredients for the yummy things of the season and while we were checking out they asked if I would like to donate a dollar for the hungry. I'm not even sure what hungry that they were going to feed, but I said, with a scrunchy face, "No, thank you." Am I wretched or what? I hardly ever give to that sort of stuff. In my head I always think, "I'm a consistent tither. I support a little girl in Uganda and have for several years...just let me have my stinkin' stuff and not make me feel like a stanky person for saying, "No." I know it's just a dollar, but I have to come back here...then another dollar...when does it end? So, we were walking out and Anson said, "Why didn't we give a dollar to help the hungry?" "Uh, cause we help in other ways." I think he saw my gaps. In fact, I think he saw my gaps twice. I can't hide them. I'm with them all day long, I can't fake it forever! I think I need to follow-up that conversation soon with why I do or do not give to grocery store things. It's a good thing, I'm sure...I just always feel like crap if I don't give. Do you all give? What's your take on it? I'm in need of a Savior whether I give or not...and if my kids see my gaps, then they'll know that I need a Savior too. Then when it's time to worship, we'll worship together because we'll all know Him, because we all know each other and how much we need Him, it will be sweet.

So, I guess I'm glad that they see my gaps...if you are around me enough you'll see them too. You may feel better or worse, but if you'd like to meet me at the Cross, we can simply worship together.

Sin is pleasant...for a time.

I swore them off. They make me shaky and I can't focus, and I feel fat. I didn't need them. I didn't like the way they made me feel. They are expensive. They are yummy. I had one, today. I felt shaky, I couldn't focus...I feel fat. A Cappucino Blast from Baskin Robbins. Dang it! I knew I would feel crummy. I had Bible Study with my sisters and I felt like I was in warp speed.

After Ella was born I would stop by the Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins and "reward" myself with a little yummy treat (usually after a trip to Wal-Mart...bless my heart). I would usually buy the kids a munchkin to assuage my guilt and a few months later I was heavier than I had ever been (or want to be again) all because of these little treasures. A few months ago I realized that they make me feel really bad. It's probably because I don't take in a lot of caffeine on a regular basis, so the "blast" part does it's job...well.

Today we had Tin Whistle practice. (I LOVE TIN WHISTLE) Ella doesn't play yet (BUT SHE WILL BECAUSE I LOVE TIN WHISTLE) and I wanted her to know how thankful I am for her and her obedience (I do not always reward her for her obedience) but feel like every now and then I should throw my amazing children a bone (or a donut.) So, I got a blast. Yum. I love the first sip. When the guy asks if I want whipped cream and cinnamon I think, "IS THERE ANY OTHER WAY? LOAD IT UP!!!" I love sipping them on the way home. Everyone is buckled up, so I cannot be assaulted whilst enjoying my little treat. I thought about only drinking half of it and throwing the rest of it away when I got home, but WHY? It's so yummy! Then I remembered. My shoulder tensed up, I start chewing on my lip, I feel hungry and full at the same time. NOOOOO! It turned against me. I showed it such love, and it just hurt me.

Sin. Those little baby things that we love, but we know are so bad for us. It isn't always big. In fact, in us "good Christian folk" it's little things that seem O.K. Which is how they take such control and wreck us from the inside out. I indulge in them. Just a little here, a little there. It might only be "House Hunters International" completely safe, right? Right. Until my heart screams, "I want more! I want a Mediterranean vacation home!" It's fine until one thirty minute show moves into another, maybe another. So, I finally turn the T.V. kiss my already snoozing husband and get a late start on my sleep, which usually effects my next day. Am I being dramatic? No. You may be able to handle these things, but I can't. I should avoid them. Just like the blast. Whether I go for a few months without it, the result is the same. I feel yucky. Sin just is never kind or tasty for long. It steals, kills and destroys. Even if it is dressed up and pretty.

I just want to be aware of it. I don't want to see it knocking and be like, "Oh, hey habit...gossip...sloth...I've missed you so much. Please, will you come in and chip away at my marriage, my family, my very walk with God. Can I get you something? Some water maybe...a Blast???"

So, I'm finished with them. I hope. At least I know that in Heaven there are no drive-thrus. I'll be able to worship without the bondage of this world...that is going to be so nice. So much better than the first sip of that silly blast.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful man so you do not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:1-3

Ramblings...

Times they've changed! I'm not sure why it's more difficult for me to sit down and write a fun little something, but it is. I'm sure it's a season (that is likely to last for about, hmmm...16 or 17 more years) I have so many things that I want to blog about, but, alas, when it's time to write...I just can't. Here's what I'm thinking right now...

First of all, I just had a sweet conversation with my boy, about sin and the things that we struggle with. He's having a hard time with some stuff and we were able to talk about the Word and how it liberates us and protects us. I am just so thankful for the Bible and how it gives us the words to say. I don't ever want to be accused of saying, "It's not a big deal...suck it up." These things aren't life or death, but they are to them. Mike and I are reading Paul Tripp's book, Age of Opportunity, and it's really great and I feel like talking with our kids now will give us the groundwork for later. I highly recommend the read, whether you have teenagers or not. We do not, but we like to stay a few steps ahead.

We spent some time in Gatlinburg, TN last week. On Sunday we went to Ripley's Aquarium. It almost brought me to a point of worship. They have some neat displays of different fish and how they eat and disguise themselves. God made them well. I was in awe at how these fish looked and acted. Have you ever looked at a Jellyfish? They are so beautiful just floating in the water. They have no bones, brain or heart, yet He took time on them. They are able to eat and survive. The angler fish with it's little worm thing poking out of it's head to catch it's dinner. No one had to tell it what to use it for, it just knows...and the wormy thing glows in the dark to attract a little snack. I have bones, a brain, and a heart. Did God not spend a great amount of time on me? I walked out of there believing that I was an incredible work of my Creator. So what it my kids left me with front butt? (Yes, I said it! I'm adjusting to it. My c-section scar has left me scarred in a rather unattractive manner!) I am not my scar. I am not my experiences. I am declared righteous by a Holy God based on the sanctifying work of Christ on the Cross. It was eye opening. Praise Him!

So, it's Christmas time. I have a small home that I struggle to keep tidy. When I say I struggle...think STRUGGLE! I could blame it on a hundred things, it's just not something I...probably just not something I care about. Until the Holidays. I love decorations, eventhough I'm not Martha Stewart (or even her 4th or 5th cousin by marriage!)I like it to look inviting and sweet. So, I pulled down our Christmas decorations. I say "I" because in an effort to "stick it to" my husband, I crawled into the attic to prove that I don't need his help. The funny thing is, I really wasn't sure how I was going to do it without him. I was going to find a way...he came to help. I made it abundantly clear that I DID NOT need his help, but I did. Nothing like pulling Christmas down angry at the world, is there! So, the decorations are just sort of, well, I feel like they are crammed in here. Like we are just making room. I thought about how that's about exactly what we must do. If it had to wait until my house was spotless it would NEVER happen. If I had to wait until I was good and ready to receive my Savior, it would NEVER happen. Jesus must invade my life. He must show up as the Rescuer that He is and make a spot for Himself. I don't care if it's a mess. It's just a little reminder that I am a mess and without Jesus I'm in BIG trouble. So, I'm not freaking out. When the lights are out and only my little white lights and the tree are lit, it's soothing. How about you? What are you waiting for? Let Him invade. Let Him walk into your mess...your chaotic and out of control mess and bring the Peace that only He can bring. Go ahead, stop freaking out...you know you want to.

Until next time...

100th Post!

This is my 100th post! Wow! I don't have anything special planned for it...which for those of you who know me, that's no surprise. I'm not much of a planner (except there are some things...but not this) so...picture this; You click on my blog and balloons fall from YOUR ceiling and the blog sings and your heart rejoices (although I'm not sure why) all in celebration of 100 posts. That sure was special...I'm glad I planned it.

For real...
I have a godmother. No one else has one. I am one of 5 children and I'm the only one. I had "godparents" but several years ago "Uncle George" died and so now I have "Aunt Janet." Her husband was my father's boss on the railroad and my folks were not near family. When I was baptized they were invited to support Mom and Dad. Like family. Well, they supported me. I never even heard their voice (never Uncle George's) until I was married and lived in Valdosta. I just wanted to hear what she sounded like. She had always sent a card and money for my birthday and when I headed over to Africa she was one of my supporters. I had heard a bit about her, but never met her. Until last January.

My father put in about 78 years on the railroad (not really...I'm not sure how many) and so last year he finally retired. Aunt Janet called and asked if I was going to Dad's testimony. I wasn't sure what she was talking about...it was his retirement party...cute. So, I talked with Mike and got the details and learned that there was a party in New Jersey and we should go...I wanted to go. Aunt Janet said that she wasn't going unless I went. I was so excited to finally meet her!

She wanted to surprise Dad, but I didn't know where to pick her up, so I spilled the beans and Dad helped me get Aunt Janet off the train. She hit me for ruining the surprise and I knew I'd love getting to know her! Dad left us alone to visit and Mike, Aunt Janet and I found a little corner in the hotel bar (of all places) to get to know each other. Going into it I felt there would be so many things that she would want to know about me (me...me...me...YUCK) as soon as she started talking, I wanted to hear more about her. First you must know that she's been living in Connecticut for, well...ever I think. So, she's got a very distinct accent. She began to tell me stories of she and Uncle George and how they met and how they courted and all about her letters. See, Uncle George served in WWII and they only corresponded over mail for 4 years while he was overseas. FOUR YEARS!!! I think he may have called her twice. I was so taken by this story that I wanted time to stand still so that I could hear all of the details. What did she do? How and why did she wait for him? What was their life like? It was like she took me back to another time and place. Then she mentioned the letters again. "What letters?" I finally asked. "Oh, I've got boxes of them." He wrote her every day sometimes twice a day all that time. She said that she had more than 1500 of them. I have to write that out so that I can write it in all caps FIFTEEN HUNDRED LETTERS FROM WAR! She said that she used to read books all the time, but now all she could do was read those letters. No book can hold her attention. Only the letters from her love. He's been gone for at least 10 years and still they capture her heart. They connect her to him. She said that she'd send me some. WHAT!!! Mike knew that I almost wet my pants. I love the written word and he knew that these would be such treasures to me.

True to her word, she did send me some letters. (I did have to send them back) You have never seen (maybe you have)such beautiful language. It took me a while to figure out what some of the words were, but once I learned how Uncle George wrote his letters, I could read them effortlessly. I couldn't put them down. They were dripping with poetry that only love could stir. No wonder she couldn't put them down. They were hers, from her love.

Do you know what the Bible is? Is it a list of rules that keep us "good Christians" in line? Is it a good book of history that we can learn from? Is it something that if we teach to our children will guarantee that they don't end up pregnant and shacked up with some "undesirable?" I think some people believe that to be true, but not me. I believe that it is God's letters to his people that is dripping with poetry that only love can stir. I believe that it should captivate us the way Uncle George's letters captivate Aunt Janet. However, the only reason why she clings to those letters is because of the way she clung to him. As we love God (through his grace) and get to know Him, I believe that His word will do the same for us. I believe that we will long for Him. Now, we are going to read other books, I'm sure, but they should never satisfy us the way His letters do.

I've been doing a Bible Study that I did YEARS ago as a new believer and it's like a memory book of scripture. Remembering how God used those verses to change me, to challenge me...to show me who He is and how He loves me. It has ignited my heart a bit. Motivated me to read it daily to see what will be next. So, I don't know how you feel about the Bible, but I want to remind you that God wrote it...for us...to know Him. That's it. So, put that other stuff down, you love has left a paper trail and you will be delighted to read all of the wonderful things that He has done for you.

One more thing. One of my Dad's favorite songs is by Frank Sinatra, My Way (a great song...for the rebel in all of us) and I'm not quite sure whether someone mentioned it or what, but Aunt Janet leaned over and said, "You know, Frank Sinatra sang at my PROM!" The people that are older than us have a RIDICULOUS amount to offer us. Go find one today! :)

Sharing...

I stumbled upon this blog some time ago, and I always weep when reading it. This particular post is beautiful...eating the living word...hungry?

http://www.aholyexperience.com/

I hope you find it as wonderfully refreshing as I do.

Ali

Miss Me?

Whew! That sums it up only a little! We had Mike's birthday on September 11, then Julia on the 27, Anson on October 15th and Ella on the 18. Party-time! I've also been learning that if I am homeschooling my children...I'd better do it! I'm finding that I do a bit more when the computer is off...I have longed to blog and have sat down several times, but with no success. So, today...maybe a little something...about Zumba...

I've been shakin' it pretty regularly lately and as always I enjoy it. However, two weeks ago I was a little humbled. This is my second year of Zumba, so I've learned a few songs and do not STRUGGLE with the moves like I did when I started. Well, about 2 weeks ago, it was time for my favorite song again. The "Chico Snap." It's a fun little song, but I think what I enjoy most about it is that this was the first dance that I learned and could do without my brain shorting out on me. So, we start the song and I'm feeling pretty confident and guess what...I had FORGOTTEN some of the moves! My feet didn't go the direction that I thought they knew they would and so I laughed a little bit and had to wait until I could get back on the beat and jump in. That happened a few times throughout the song. Hmmmm I thought I knew it so well. Was I, perhaps, a little too confident? I think so.

Lately I've seen myself tripping a little spiritually. I learned the Christian dance. I was discipled well and even went on a few trips for the purpose of teaching others. I was sharp. I was passionate...I got confident in my flesh and I stopped being as intentional with my time alone with the Lord or as intense in my study. I've been caught off guard and where no one else may have noticed, I have. I have taken for granted that I knew how to do something and thought it would simply return when I needed it. Not so. Just like Zumba, my walk with God must be maintained on a consistent basis for it to have any real effect on my life or the life of anyone around me. I can't be jumping in every now and then with the hopes that I'll get enough to last me. I must study the moves, practice them, until they become second nature (or first nature!) again!

So, I'm meeting with my little sisters in a Bible Study. I'm so very excited about this because I've wanted to be in a Bible study with them ever since I became a Christian almost 13 years ago. It's fun to be challenged to meet with God...maybe you don't need accountability...but I know I wouldn't Zumba on my own!!! I'm brushing up on some of those things that captivated my heart so long ago and I know that in time my moves will be sweet! Not only that...but my relationship with Christ will be the prize. Knowing Him. Meeting with Him daily. Laying my life down at His feet every morning. To be confident in Him alone. I'm so thankful that His mercies are new every morning.

I'll be back soon...I've got some things in my head...but there are some folks around here that I have really been enjoying...I hope the same for all of you!

Blessings