Yertle the Turtle

I do love Dr. Seuss. I haven't read him enough lately, but last night Ella was pretending to be a vet, and when I asked her what her name was she said, "Dr. Seuss." Pretty clever that little spunky thing! The other day we were, however, reading Yertle the Turtle and this line caught me. First let me say that Yertle is a very grumpy turtle that wants to be ruler over everything that he can see. In order to be a bigger ruler, he stacks more and more turtles on top of one poor Mack, and apparantly forgets why he is so tall. Listen,
"You hush up your mouth!" howled the mighty King Yertle.
"You've no right to talk to the world's highest turtle.
I rule from the clouds! Over land! Over sea!
There's nothing, no NOTHING, that's higher than me!"

As I read that I thought, "Yertle, you fool, you are only high because you are standing on their backs! They put you in that position and listen to how you speak to them!" I won't tell you how it ends, in case you want to find out for yourself, but here's the thing, anything that I am, or will be, is because I am standing on someone's back. I think of the great cloud of witnesses that have gone on before us, those Amy Carmichael's and the George Mueller's. The Livingstone's and Ten Boom's. Those courageous souls who were willingly and joyfully obedient and have paved the way for many believers to do some pretty super things for the glory of God. We stand on their shoulders. We stand on the shoulders of the One who took our cross on His shoulders and lugged it bruised and beaten all the way to Calvary. The relationship that I have with my Father, I have because of Him. May I never forget that and speak as harshly as ole' Yertle did, who eventually was King of the Mud. Hmmm. I've been there a time or two.

So, whose shoulders are you standing on? And who will stand on yours?

All Night All Day...

My childhood is sometimes spotty. One thing that I do remember well is singing the song, "All night all day, angels watching over me my Lord." Do you know it? It's a sweet song, comforting, especially since it came right before the prayer, "If I should die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take!" WHAT??? I love the idea of being watched...by nice celestial beings...not stalkers! You know what I like even better? Now that I know Jesus I have learned that He is watching me. I almost cried (really I probably did cry) the other day when I saw what that looked like.

I have girls. I love doing nails and hair. Not to make them perfect, I just find it fun. Right now my nails are blue. I must give a shout out to Jo because every time I look at my toes I think of you! You would totally dig the color. It's blue in some light and purple in another...anyway...I finally had a taker on dance class. I really think Julia would be good at dance, so I asked her if she'd like to do a dance camp to check it out. She's rather reserved and she declined my offer. Her sister, however, thought that was SUPER exciting and wouldn't let me rest until she knew she was enrolled in Tinkerbell camp. It was this week from 10:00-11:15. I didn't love having to be somewhere everyday at the same time, but what can I say? I'm a team player. The recital was on Friday. It was PRECIOUS! I'm very thankful that my Mom, 2 sisters, 1 brother-in-law, husband, nephew, and other 2 children could make it to watch her spin and hop and jump.

Y'all, it was no swan lake. She was a bit nervous and didn't really do the stuff like her teacher said, but I thought it was AWESOME...why? Because SHE is awesome. She is mine! I had the camera on her the entire time. Just sitting there, doing nothing. I didn't want the other kids in the frame because she was the one I was there to watch. She was the one I came to cheer for. She was mine! Everything she did was adorable because she was trying (sort of). Her little bun and tu-tu...her face! Sweet!

Then the Lord whispered to my heart. "Ali, I watch you like that. You are mine. You don't do it right but it brings me joy to see you." I must be honest, I've been riddled with fear. I've been out of the Word and avoiding prayer (WHY do I do that???) and I've just been downright afraid of what the future could hold for us. I'm scared that I might make decisions that would make God unhappy, because maybe they wouldn't be spiritual enough. Example: "Would God be mad if we moved into a house that had a little bit more room?" Um. No. Or "Will God be mad if we want to live closer to Mom and Mike's work?" Um, probably not. Paralyzed I tell you! Frightened that my PERFORMANCE will determine His love for me. Y'all, Ella is not an incredible ballerina, but my heart was full to overflowing watching her! That really is how the Lord of heaven and earth looks at me. He rejoices over me...and you...with singing. He never sleeps, He never slumbers...He will let no harm come to me. He has loved me with an everlasting love and has every hair on my head numbered. Because of the perfect performance of Jesus Christ...I'm in! I belong to the One true living God whose being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness and truth are infinite, eternal and unchangeable! Praise the Lord.

I don't twirl when I'm supposed to. I certainly can't fly through the stars like a graceful fairy should. Yet there is still a treasure for me. Just like those little girls got to dig through the treasure chest for their treasure, I have One as well.

Every day I have an opportunity to dig in the treasure He has for me everyday in His word. Everyday I get to marvel at the creation that reveals His glory. Every night when I lie down to sleep, God watches over me. It's true! He is my treasure, and you know what the crazy thing is? Because of Christ, I am His.

Dance, ladies, dance! You might not be the best ballerina, but you are His.

9 Foot Sunflowers and 1 in faith

"I got 9 foot sunflowers out there." Mike was on the phone with his Mom. I'm thankful for the pleasure in the conversation. There was a brief pause, "No, I didn't do anything. I just put em' in the ground."

My heart stopped a little bit in the realization of that statement. "I didn't do anything, I just put them in the ground."

"What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe---as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters in anything, but only God who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded acording to his own labor. For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building." 1 Corinthians 3: 5-9

I heard it preached on Sunday and it was as though rain was literally falling on my parched and thirsty soul. My legalism can certainly get the best of me and I can cheapen grace with the best of them. When I see fruit in my life I think, "God is SO VERY LUCKY to have me on His team. I am probably the MVP or at least the Most Improved!" Then when there is no fruit and my temper is quick and my mouth is foul (from the darkness of my heart) I wonder if I'm even saved. "How could a dirty wretch like me even believe for one second that Jesus would have anything to do with me?"

Then I hear things like, "I just put em' in the ground." and in seasons where my faith is the size of a smaller than usualy mustard seed, I am relieved. Really? Could that really be true that any fruit on the vine of my life, or those around me is there because God is the One? What a relief. Then there are the days when I think, "Well, if He's going to be the One responsible for fruit...why am I slaving away like this?" Here's the thing, I do need to tend the garden. Mike didn't just throw the seeds in the ground and hope for the best. He sort of did that, but he also made his own soil "cocktail" and watered every day sometimes twice a day. He inspected the garden for bugs and checked for fruit daily. He did not however, produce the fruit. Hmmm.

There are so many things about God that I know without a shadow of a doubt are true. My life, however, says otherwise. I am so very thankful that my ability to believe the truth doesn't change the fact that the Truth is the Truth. And the Truth is that it is God who makes all things grow. We can pull the weeds that would choke out the fruit. We can tend the soil and water the roots, but when it all comes down and those 9 foot sunflowers just keep growing. All we can do is be amazed...just like everyone else.

A Cup of Ramble

So, yesterday I was just sort of unsettled and wanted to look around at what everyone else's school rooms looked like. That's a super bad idea for me because I do not have a school room. I do not have a dining room, bonus room, laundry room...blah.blah.blah. I will say, that I love where we are. We are about central to everything and our little house has taught us a great deal. However, sometimes I just get the wants. I saw one picture where the family had a basement as their school room (I'd say most basements are bigger than our home!) and they had massive bookshelves and tables and chairs and supplies OH MY! I was frustrated, and then I saw these cute "nature shelves." They were simply CD towers that must have been wood and were painted green (a nice soothing green)and the children were able to store their treasures there. You know what treasures I'm talking about don't you? Sticks, rocks, shells, bits of string...stuff that belongs outside! There is one stick currently on a table by my door, and another piece of interesting wood on the porch, after I asked someone to get it out of my room. My kids would love that. So, I glanced around my house wondering where this could go and thought, "Yeah, right. One more thing." Then I considered the porch. AHA! We could build some little tables and the children can sort and do whatever they want with their treasures. I felt like a winner, and was reminded that God has always and will always have a spare corner for what we need. All that to say, when I was telling my Mom about it I said, "You know how my kids always have their pockets crammed with heaven." Wow. What else would I want them to cram their pockets with? If you aren't cramming your pockets full of heaven, do you know what you are cramming them full of? Hmmm. This world. This perishable, fallen world.

I consider my own pockets. The nooks and crannies of my home and my heart. What am I cramming them full of? I read an article recently that stated American homes are getting bigger, but our families are getting smaller. We are, essentially, replacing people with stuff. I wish I could remember the article because the author said that parents are essentially parenting stuff. That was hard to hear. Hard to consider. Am I cramming my house full of heaven or earth?

On those same lines we were reading from Joshua in our Chronological Bible (we are in March and we started last year) and Mike and I were so tired of hearing what clan got what land and on and on and on and...the kids listened so carefully. It was shocking. When I shut the Bible I said, "Why is this in here? What can we learn about God from all this?" We came up with the fact that God assigns land. There was always land enough for the people and even pastureland. So we talked about how this house, on this street...this is God's provision for us. Isn't that something that some long passages in Joshua about the allotment of land can speak to the dark secret places. Those places that wander around looking at what everyone else has.

Meanwhile, my children are cramming their pockets full of Heaven. Let me come to Him as one of them.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and where theives cannot break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

So, today, Father, help me to empty my pockets so that I can cram them jam-packed full of Heaven. Amen

Need Anything?

Some friends of ours are currently in the process of adopting from China. There is a yardsale tomorrow and the proceeds will go towards the cost of the adoption. If you are in Augusta and want to support them...head on over there tomorrow morning!

HUGE Multi-family
Yard Sale and Bake Sale
at Queensborough National Bank in Evans by the Ford Dealership (on the SHADY side :)
7am - 1pm this Saturday 6/26


TONS of Baby and Toddler gear and clothes, train table, strollers, nursing pump, toys,
bikes, furniture, matching twin beds, desk, dresser, decor, pet accessories, tons of DVDs (good ones!), lots of books, and much more!
And last but not least....chocolate, fresh baked bread and other goodies! Lots of yummy baked goods!!!
All proceeds go to our adoption - getting our baby girl here from China!
(All those who want to pay by check can receive a tax deduction receipt through our partnership with Lifesong for Orphans).

So, as you tuck your little ones in, say a little prayer for this family, and so many others that are waiting on all of their children to be home!

I think I'm "flea" years old

"And den what are we gonna do? Are we gonna ride in our car or in Mrs. Kelli's car? Are you staying here? Then are we gonna take a baf? I'm hungry. Can I have a snack? Can I have some gum? Can I have it after my nap?"

This is Ella. Ella is beautiful and funny and a blessing. Ella is also "flea" years old. I suppose at some point I have diappointed her or let her down or something because she does not trust me. She follows me around asking what will come next and what will be after that. I don't know how many times I have looked into her sweet little face with her curls crazy on her head and said, "Ella, I am a good Mom. Would you PLEASE TRUST ME???" It makes me crazy. I have good things planned for her. I only think of what will be best for her, and yet she doesn't believe me. I have never left her, in fact, I don't even threaten that to my kids. I have never made her go without something that she needed. I have taken her to the ER when she needed a cast (maybe the fact that I was 2 days late bothered her). I can't figure out why we are having this problem. It's probably just immaturity. Hmmmm

"Lord, if we actually move forward with this decision what will we do next? What will happen if PE teachers are cut? What will we do after next year? If we spend our money like that will you provide more? What if I let the kids go and they aren't ready? What if I'm not good enough and everyone finds out? What if I do what you tell me to do and I look stupid and no one understands? Lord, what is next? Can I please just take a nap???"

"Ali, I am a good Father. Actually, let's visit my track record...I am a PERFECT Father. Every good and perfect gift has come from me. I did not spare my own Son, but gave Him up for you. Why would I not, along with Him graciously give you all things? Why wouldn't I give you wisdom to parent? Why wouldn't I give you grace for the journey? If I withhold a job, do you not think it is for your own good? If I withhold anything isn't it because I know more than you? Your needs will always be met because they have been met in Christ. There is nothing you need anymore. I have given you fullness in Christ. I have sent my Spirit. You are not alone. I will never leave you or forsake you. I am the same yesterday, today and forever. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I own the cattle on a thousand hills. Let the county go bankrupt...the state...the whole country...I am not bankrupt. You cannot and will not exhaust me. I never sleep nor slumber. I will not let the sun harm you by day or the moon at night. I rejoice over you with singing. You are my treasured possession. I could go on. Do you understand me, Ali? I love you. I have called you by name. You are mine. Rest in me. My yoke is easy and my burden is light. I will never ask you to do anything that I haven't done myself. So, yes, take a nap. I'll be up...singing...over you."

Amen? Amen.

Noah?

"This is such a buzz-kill."
"Seriously, how long does it take to tell people to bend over and kiss their *hiney* good-bye."

Lord, I think that's how I feel. The reality of this conversation sobered me a bit. I wasn't having this conversation, but the people sitting behind me at a mandatory safety meeting were.

Mike and I will celebrate our 10th (can you believe it) anniversary this July. This past weekend we went on a 3 day cruise with my folks who were celebrating my mother's (final) retirement. So, for those of you who have never cruised, you aren't required to do ANYTHING on a cruise other than what you want. EXCEPT for the mandatory meeting to go over what would happen should the ship begin to, well, go under.

These folks seemed nice enough. They were ready for a good time and not super pumped about this mandatory meeting. Their drinks were fresh and their party was getting started! To listen to them I thought, "You must not have children." I do want to see Jesus, I do, but the thought of dying and knowing I was leaving my children behind grieves me. I was totally paying attention. I wanted to know where my life jacket was, where the little light was on it so that someone could rescue me. Where I needed to meet to get on the lifeboat...I wanted the facts. I've seen Titanic...things happen!!! As these people mocked the demonstration my heart sort of sank for them, and those who have mocked other demonstrations before.

I thought of those who find Christ to be somewhat of a buzz-kill. He just comes in, demands their time and ruins all the fun. Such a party-pooper that Redeemer. I thought about the people who have given their lives that others would know, and how they were received...as foolish and unrealistic. To these folks sitting behind us the boat would NOT sink. They are NOT going to die. They are going to live and have fun and it's gonna be awesome. I know the Truth. I know that we do need to pay attention. We do need a Redeemer. I do need a life jacket because I'm on a sinking ship.

I thought about Noah and how he was declaring the coming wrath and warning the people for what, 150 years, that they should get a plan together. What kept him hammering one nail after the other? He believed. He knew God. He knew that whatever the rain looked and felt like when it fell, it wasn't going to be good.

So, I didn't share the gospel with these people. I did watch them at other times, though, to just see if they were still having a good time. It was good enough, I suppose. Perhaps a bit empty when the buzz did wear off...I don't know, I'm not them. I have been. I've had some super awesome times. Really, really fun. There was always a let down, though. Always a nagging feeling in my heart. Always a voice whispering that my ship was leaking, slowly, steadily.

I don't want to find Christ as a buzz kill. Sometimes I think maybe I do. When I'm convicted about music or movies or even TV shows that others aren't bothered by. I'm like, "Seriously, Lord, a little fun wouldn't kill me." Perhaps it would. That's such a painful realization. To believe that whatever I could find "fun" would be more fulfilling than anything that the Lord would have for me. Really? That's silly.

So, I'm not quite sure how to end this, only that for me, I want to be really living...robust and full...to let the watching world know that Christ is not a buzz kill. His boundaries bring life to my bones. He satisfies me in the morning with His unfailing love and because His love is better than life, my lips will praise Him. I want to want to forget what is behind and press on toward the goal, the prize that Christ has called me to. Oh, Father, grant me grace that I might do just that. Help me to listen to you with open ears and a quiet heart and rejoicing in the only One who can truly save me from my sinking ship. Amen