So let us know...

The grass doesn't bend under my barefeet, it breaks completely. It's dusty and dry and hot as blue blazes. I walked out to get some paint from the van, "I don't know what this heat will do to it if it sits in there all day." I told Anson as I walked into the electric blanket of Georgia heat. Something you hear around here when it rains is, "Man, we sure needed it." We so welcome rain around here. We seem to think it cools the air, but I think it simply cools the asphalt for a spell. Either way, we welcome the rain.

How is your soul? Dry, dusty? Does it bend or does it break when pressure is applied? We have been (finally) diligent in reading the word with our children and I'll tell you what, my soul is softening. My heart is beginning to yearn for Him again. My desires are for His desires to be fulfilled in me. I am smelling the rain (oh how I love that smell) in the distance and know that I desperately need some rain to fall on my parched soul. Lord, Jesus, indeed rain on me!

When in Africa we worshipped in this little chapel on our property. We didn't have any fancy equipment. We has some guitars and some college students lifting their voices in earnest prayer and petition to their One and Only. One of my favorite songs that we sang in that little chapel, and in our little combies (those were our vans) was a song that came from Hosea 6:3, the song paraphrases the verse:
So let us know
echo: So let us know
So let us press on to know the Lord
So let us know
echo: So let us know
So let us press on to know the Lord
His going forth is as certain as the dawn and He will come to us like the rain
Like the spring rain watering the earth
Let us press on to know the Lord.

Mike and I started teaching the kids that song over the weekend and I can't tell you how my heart rejoices at the opportunity to press on with my 4 little sinnin' blessings by my side. Refining me, challenging me, loving me and urging me to press on to know the Lord.

So, if your soul is parched, dry, cracked and looking brown and dead...take heart...He will come like the rains. Press on.

One Week Later!

Hello There!
My dear sweet husband posted the baby information and wasn't sure if I used names of our children on this blog. So, here is a little bit more information on...
Caroline Marie Wessner I sent this out in an e-mail as well, so some of you may have it...but this is for those of you that I don't have your e-mail or for those of you blog surfing just curious about some random family that just had their 4th baby...

Greetings!

One week after our little peanut has arrived and I am able to sit in this uncomfortable chair long enough to write a skinny report on how she got here...EARLY!!! For those of you who just need the facts:



Caroline Marie Wessner was born on Friday, June 17 at 1:32 via c-section. She weighed 9 pounds 10 ounces and looks very much like her big brother Anson! We cannot believe she's here...



For those who want some details:

I am a large pregnant lady and many people don't think I'll make it to the seventh month. I have, however, never gone into labor...until Caroline. I was nervous about going into labor because my doctor was on vacation in Charleston and I didn't know if I would know what labor felt like. I'd be the crazy lady showing up delivering in the parking lot because I didn't know that I was in labor...and I've already had 3 kids!!! For those of you who don't know...all 3 kids (4 now) have been c-sections. So, my sister told me that I would certainly be able to tell the difference between real contractions and braxtion hicks. Here is the difference...you want to hit someone when you are having a real contraction. So, I was up for 2 nights wanting to pound my sleeping husband's face in and then I realized that perhaps I should call my Dr. So, I was tired and grumpy and scared last Friday and I called him on his vacation, apologized for bothering him, and asked what I should do. He sent me to his office where I was monitored and checked for "progress." For the first time EVER I had progress!!! I was 80 % effaced and 1 cm dilated. After the Dr. told me I said, "Really??? I've never done any of that before!!!" She said that we should go ahead and have a baby because there was no way I would make it until Monday. Monday was the day of my scheduled c-section. So I said, "Well, can you hand me my purse, I should call my husband." Well, for those of you who know us, you know we only have 1 phone...and I had it. So, Mike was heading downtown to get the kids to camp at our church so I left a message on my own answering machine!!! How nuts is that, "Hey Babe, it's me. The Dr. said we should go ahead and have the baby. Our Dr. is on his way home to deliver Caroline. Go ahead and pack the clothes I laid on the bed and just get here before Coach. (Coach is what we call my OB)" So, then Mike gets this message and calls me back. Thankfully my Mom was able to pick my kids up from downtown and Mike's parents were here by 10:45. It was so much fun seeing how all things had been planned and prepared. As I sat in the Dr. office I thought of Psalm 139..."all my days were ordained for me before one of them came to be...how precious to me are your thoughts O God, how vast is the sum of them." We planned a day and the Lord had a day already. There was almost a relief knowing that it was "time" and we were not pushing things. I was thankful to say the least. So, Mike showed up and the kids and our parents and we glowed with excitement to meet our newest gift.

So, we got the medical part out of the way (I really detest the epidural!!! I love how I feel, but I don't love the idea of a needle in my spine!!!) and I was wheeled back to have my baby. It was one of the harder deliveries I have had. I had some nausea which has never happened and felt a bit more pressure than in the past. However...to hear her cry and see her face...wow!!!

She looks like Anson. She's super cute and cuddly and now that she has milk (it took 2 or 3 days this time so she was slightly hungry) to drink she hits that milk coma and can be passed around from one doting sibling to another. The kids are smitten to say the least! Ella says, "When is my sister going to wake up?" They kiss her and check on her and constantly ask if they are the next one to hold her. I hog her, to be honest. You just never know when you are holding your last baby. I have also enjoyed just laying low. I am so thankful for all of you that have called and left messages and have signed up for meals. We were going ninety to nothing the last 3 weeks and even if I hadn't have had a baby via surgery I think I would have attempted to disappear! Whew! So, we'll be returning to the land of the living soon...until then I wanted to tell you all sort of what happened, why she was early and why I have disappeared a bit...I'm just falling in love all over again. With my baby...with my husband...with the God of Heaven and Earth that would not withhold this sweet treasure from our family. I can't wait for you all to see her...to get to know her...and for all of us to know the story God has for her.

So, thanks for reading this...for caring about us...and Caroline...Sweet Caroline.


Love,

Ali on behalf of the whole Team Wessner!

New Team Member!

We welcomed our newest member of Team Wessner today!

21.5" long and 9 lbs. 10 oz.!

Here are a few of the first pictures to enjoy.

Persistent like Ella

"Mom, I want to show you the dress that I want to wear today, and I know you're gonna say 'No.'"

This is how our dialogue goes on most Sunday mornings. Now, I am sure that many of you have all the clothes picked out with socks and shoes and belts located on Saturday night...I think that is so smart...but I can only think about it. So, Sunday morning we are choosing and finding and all that good stuff. So, Ella has this BEAUTIFUL dress that came from someones trunk (who loves that??? ME!!!) It's a gorgeous white Strasburg dress with pearl beading. I could never buy it. It has short sleeves, though, so I have had to keep saying "no." Today, however, the forecast was sunny and 80. I followed Ella into her room and said, "Today is the perfect day to wear that dress. I just need to iron it." Needless to say, she was thrilled. She looked like a picture and I am so very thankful for the generosity of our church family. We have some of the most LOVELY dresses hanging in our closet and with 3 girls (did you know I was having another girl???) I'm so very grateful. So, in church I was thinking about the whole scenario and thought, "I wish I were more like Ella."

Every Sunday for the past several months she has asked to wear that dress. Every Sunday for the past several months I have said, "no." I stop asking the Lord. When He says, "No" one time, I quit. The only reason why I wouldn't allow Ella to wear the dress was because the season wasn't right. How do I know what season it is in the Kingdom of God? Is it time to rescue my brother from the pain of the fall? Is it time to send my family overseas? Is it time to sell our house? I can keep asking. He may keep saying, "No." But won't that be a sweet day with my heavenly Father when He smiles at me and says, "Today is the perfect day for that dress, my love. I'm so glad you asked."

How about you? Do you keep asking? If I weren't so painfully tired with a good bit of reading yet to do for my Perspectives Class tomorrow night I would find the passage regarding the man that kept on knocking on his neighbors door. Do you remember that one? God, help me to knock until my knuckles bleed. Amen.

This is Ella...Ella, Ella, Ella

"And then what are we going to do? Will we skip naps today? How many days is that? Will you be there? Will we have dessert? What is dessert? What is dinner? Do I have to eat it? How much? What does that mean? I don't know what you are talking about!" On and on it goes. I'm not quite sure why, but Ella gets anxious when she doesn't have all of the information. It drives me nuts. I find myself saying, all the time, "Ella, honey, you are just going to have to trust me." I actually find it offensive that she won't simply walk in faith. Just enjoy the day. You are 4 years old and life is good.

Today was a beautiful day here. We don't live in the Arctic, so we don't love cold weather. Our winter has been colder than usual, and this warmth is so good for us. It's one thing if you sign up to live in a cold place...but I didn't. I sweat..I don't love cold. Today everyone got outside, even Sonny. Mike was working with our neighbor to split a large tree stump and the kids roamed around and played on our neighbor's play set and trampoline. Man it was nice! As Ella was getting off the trampoline she started, "Are we going to skip naps? I can't be still and close my eyes. Can I just read a book? What if I can't close my eyes." It was such a lovely day. Why would she even concern herself with nap when we hadn't even eaten lunch yet! I just looked at her. "Ella, you are going to have to trust me." Please.

I know that there are mothers that are better than me. They have it more together and can pull of washing, drying, folding and putting laundry away on the same day. Sometimes, not as often as in the past, but I forget to brush my teeth. I'm also not ashamed to say that today, in my neighbor's yard, my sweatpants and long sleeved t-shirt were also my pajamas last night! I don't have it all together, but you know one thing I do...I think for my children. I think for them and I plan for them and I love them immensely. I do not look for a snake pit to dump them in. I feel like my record of care should speak for itself (besides the fact that Ella wasn't eating enough around 9-10 mos...we rectified that as soon as we realized it!). I feel like they should be able to simply check my record and believe that all will be well. That my care may be crazy at times, but they are never, ever, in danger. Ever. I adore them.

I have been really paralyzed lately. I feel like the Lord has been stirring things inside of us and we don't know what to do with them. I want to know the answers and I want to know them 5 minutes ago. I want to know if we should move or stay or sell all and live in a hut in Sub-Saharan Africa (remember I don't do cold!). I find myself worried and not believing...just like Ella. If I were to challenge God's record I would not find a blemish. Each and every time I have heard, listened, and obeyed His voice, I have never ended up in a pit of snakes. I have never been painfully disappointed or injured in any way. Never. Why would he start now? Is He a man that He should lie or a son of man that He should change His mind? Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill? Um...no. Why would He start now? Why can't I just enjoy this beautiful day? He is a good God...an excellent Father. I really want to relax. I know that by His spirit and because of His Son, I can...and I will. No more questions. For now...

That dog will run!

He will take off. He's fast and he's stubborn. When we adopted him, we were told that he was part Lab and some other stuff. As he grows we believe that he might be part Greyhound. He's been extremely helpful during this pregnancy as Mike and I take turns making sure he gets his walks in. Mike takes the morning shift (I had that one first and this little heartbeat conquered my ability to get up at 6:20) and I take the evening shift (with my neighbor which I so enjoy!).

We've been working on training him, and anyone who knows us, dog-training isn't one of our greatest abilities. We're working on it, though. So, a few weeks ago, I thought, "I wonder what he'll do if I turn him loose." So, we got to a good stopping point close to our house so I could see him, and I had him sit, and then I took off his leash, gave him a pat and said, "Release!" He took off!!! Straight for our house. He ran a bit and then stopped to see where I was, then ran a bit and stopped to see again. I was surprisingly proud of my four-legged pal!

That's why we do what we do. If my dog is in fact a Greyhound, he was made to run. He needs to run, but he needs to know how to run safely and where home is. My children are like that. They will run, I know it. I feel them pulling on the leashes every now and then. (I don't really have them on leashes, I mean rubbing up against the boundaries.) I cannot, however, turn them loose until they have received proper training. I have to be sure that they listen to not only my voice, but the voice of their ultimate Master. He is the One who made them and knows what they are capable of. Not only what they are capable of, but what they were made to do. I do believe that all of us were made to run.

I'm sure there will be no greater joy than to watch my children run away from me at full speed ahead...home to where the Father has called them. It is to this end that I labor.

So, as we all set out on this New Year, let's fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith and run this race with perseverance. Parents, married, or single, we were created to do something...bring Him glory. Run, run like the wind, just be sure that you are running home.

Happy New Year.

Crooked Wreath

Too many blogs spoil my fun. We all have opinions and most of them are so good, and some of them are great, and some of them rub me the wrong way. Some of them make me feel better and some make me feel worse. However, nothing makes me feel worse, or better, than my crooked Advent Wreath.

Like so many other parents, I want our holidays to be meaningful and spent with purpose on the who and what of Christmas. We have an Advent wreath, a super book, a Jesse Tree and good intentions. There is something different, however, about this season. I am coming out of my first trimester. I have no sweet tooth (baking doesn't sound yummy), I'm pretty tired (I was napping like an infant for a few days...10 and 2!) I've also read too much of the opinions of others and not enough of the opinion of my Father. These turn into some joy stealing combinations. So, to my advent wreath. It's in the middle of the table. That's really hard for me because our table really is the hub of our home. It's breakfast, lunch, dinner (OK, we have eaten out a good bit, but normally it's all three meals) coloring, games, school, it's everything. Having something on it makes me nuts! However, there is really no better place for our wreath. So, it gets pushed around and sometimes demoted to a chair and then placed back into the center of the table where it belongs...reminding us all of what we are anticipating.

That's how I feel like I've been this Season. Jesus is the center, but He gets pushed around a bit. He's in the mix, but not quite center all the time, sometimes He is completely demoted, sometimes He's shining brightly. It's condemning a little bit. How can I say I love Him and would lay down everything, when spending time in His word is such a discipline? My heart is a liar. Then I am reminded by my crooked Advent wreath, that is exactly the point. I so need Jesus. More than ever it feels like. I'm so crooked and so broken without Him. I know pride is a struggle...as disgusting as it is, if I can pull it together then I feel good about the fact that I'm on God's team...like He's lucky to have me. It's times like these when my cracks and corners are exposed that I can barely look at His face without wanting to run the opposite direction out of complete embarrassment. Does that ever happen to anyone else? Does anyone else stink at being good?

Tonight I asked Mike if the kids have enjoyed our time off. He said that it's been good, but in my heart I know that I got robbed. I took my eyes off the prize. I lost the point...the house was too messy...I didn't stop. They may have enjoyed things, but I have struggled. So, I have a list...and it can wait. This is the first Christmas in a LONG time that my ENTIRE family (that's my siblings and my parents) will be together...I want my wreath straight.

So, to those homemakers out there that keep stinkin' it up like I do...there's a Savior for that. Those Moms who have a hard time accepting their kids' best effort when there is still crap in the corners of their room...there is a Savior for that. For those of us Crooked Advent Folks, that just want to know Jesus and struggle with our flesh...there is a Savior for that. O, Love that will not let me go! Are you so thankful that it is He holds us and not the opposite? Bind my wandering heart to thee!

I hope that as you look around at all the crooked in your house, in your life, in this world...you will look with me into the face of the Savior who came to set it all straight. Not because we were good enough...but because He loved us so.

Merry Christmas to all...and to all...a straight wreath in a crooked world!