Worms.

"Do not fear, you worm Jacob, you men of Israel; I will help you," declares the LORD, "and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel. Isaiah 41:14

"But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men and despised by the people." Psalm 22:6


"Rachel, are you sure these aren't going to crawl out and get into my van?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Worms don't like the light, they crawl down into the dirt to get away from it. See, you can't even see them anymore. You'll be fine."

So, today, I read two chapters of Farmer Boy, one chapter of David Livingstone, did a spelling lesson, a language lesson, made lunch and picked up some worms. Yup, worms. The Wessner's are goin' green! Mike and I have two gardens and we wanted to compost. To be honest, I'm more excited about composting than the gardens because I really have come to despise throwing away food. (I don't know how many times my children have heard me say, "Eat up. Daddy and I have seen the starving children of Africa!) In fact, I was taking our food out to the "dump tree" just because I felt like maybe the deer could eat it and it wouldn't be wasted. So, we (I mean Mike) researched composters and the pros and cons of all of the models and we settled on worms. I actually like the idea because I think the kids will learn alot and I understand that worm "castings" make the best soil. So, worms it is! The composter came yesterday and so I went and picked up the worms today.

My dear friend dug them for me. She's way more like Caroline Ingalls than I am. (Oh how I long to be Caroline!) I do not like my hands to be dirty. I don't even like to handle frozen blueberries for long because it makes my nails look bad. Vain. I know. I don't like slugs, snails, worms, snakes, centipedes...I could go on. My point is this...I'm stretching.

Please remember that I have 4 children on a daily basis. They were all in the van while I was getting the worms. Some of them had escaped their seats and were moving freely about the cabin, while one stuck one was screaming, "I want out!" So, I got everyone buckled in and the words that kept repeating in my head, besides, "Ali, you are doing so good. DO NOT STOP FOR A CAPPUCINO BLAST AND MUNCHKINS. No temptation has seized you...no temptation has seized you..." were Rachel's words, "Worms don't like the light. They crawl away from it." I vaguely remembered David's words in the Psalms when he compares himself to a worm. While looking for that verse I found the verse in Isaiah where God uses the word to describe the men of Israel. He uses this word, according to my study note, as a reference to their feeble and despised condition in exile.

Romans 3:10:11 states, "As it is written, 'There is no one righteous, not even one, there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.'" It goes on with more good news about our wretched condition, but I'd like to use 1 John 1:5 to remind us what God is, "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all."

When I put these two verses together I can only rejoice that because I don't seek Him, because I am prone to crawl away from Light...He brought the Light to me.

"When Jesus spoke to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'" John 8:12

So, that's what I'd like to do. Take the Light to those who are prone, as I am, to crawl away from it. Doing this with the sincere hope that they will also, as I have, have the "Light of life."

Nasty.

It's been a regular puke-fest around here lately. So far my boy has been immune, but my girls have been up and down. It's been so frustrating! Thankfully we aren't due to go anywhere or have any company until the first weekend of April, so I guess I should be thankful. My 2 year old knows when she is going to be sick, and more importantly WHERE to get sick. My 4 year old just sort of, well, bursts...wherever she is. So, what I've been doing is spot mopping the floors. You know what that revealed to me...my floors are NASTY! Yesterday I was cleaning up after Julia and my friend was over...my super dear friend that isn't afraid of vomit...and I looked at her and said, "Do you know how very disgusting your carpet is?" I know, words of encouragement...a gift of the Spirit to be sure! Seriously, when I see what gets ground into my wood floors I can only imagine what our past homes with all carpet were like. YUCK!

Tonight I got couched by Ella and Mike took the older kids to dinner at the home of some friends. Ella went to bed early and I decided that I would do a little bit of cleaning. The problem...

Once you start to clean, without people distracting you from the filth, you see the filth. My kitchen floor was/is raunchy. I was on my hands and knees trying to get it clean. My little rag just kept showing my handprint in dirt. Then, if that isn't enough, when you are up close and personal with your floor like that, you get up close and personal with your baseboards, your cabinets, under the fridge, before you know it you are ready to call those English ladies to tell you how third-world your house has become! How did it get so out of control???

As I swept my floor I could feel the difference between where the rug was and was not. I just said, out loud, "It's O.K. You can clean it." You know what other word came to mind? Repent.

Have you ever gotten a really good look at your heart? I should use the actual word. Have you ever gotten a good look at your depravity? Thankfully because God is merciful, He doesn't show us everything at once, but lately I have felt a little more up close and personal with what is really going on in my heart. I start looking at a few things and as I'm exposing myself to God and His Word, I see more and more. I could become really depressed. I think we all could. Even as I was cleaning my floors I was thinking, "Is this even cleaning the floor? Or is it simply leaving a soapy residue that is going to make it worse?"

I can get like that when dealing with God. I'm like, "O.K. what can I do? What is going to fix this? What will clean me up and make me better? Perhaps I should call a friend and see what they use." The answer...Jesus.

Our most righteous acts are like filthy rags. I am not capable of cleaning up my heart. Just like I didn't remove the heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. Just like my floor will never be spotless...unless they are brand new.

I am, in Christ, brand new. I can see my heart and not become overwhelmed because I plead Christ. Looking at my heart only makes me love Him more. It only makes me more aware of my need. It makes me so thankful that I have a Savior that does not change. Yesterday, today and forever...He is the same.

So, are your floors nasty? Well, scrub them. Is your heart nasty? Well, repent...then walk in the freedom that Christ affords...and think of your mansion that Jesus is preparing for you. We will be able to walk on our floors for eternity without feeling crumbs. We can handle it for a little while, I think. Let it remind us of our need for Jesus, and His unending love for us.

Gifts.

Let me start by saying, I think if I were Jacob I would have cried "Uncle!" when wrestling with God. I feel like as life gets harder I just get weaker. I suppose that could be exactly how it's meant to be. Last week one of my journal entries read, in all caps, "LORD, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME???" The response, "Yes, yes I am." There is still way too much of my own agenda on the line and I do have some more dying to do in order to be more like Christ. He is good, and I'm sure He's going easy on me, but I have been struggling. To the post...

Roughly a year ago (maybe a year and a half) I was invited to a clothing party. Let me preface this by saying I am alot of fun at a party...or so I've been told. I usually break the ice, and keep things moving. I enjoy a party. I will not, however, be the big spender. I usually go with one thing in mind and I leave with that one thing. For instance, I went to a cookware party a few months ago. I needed a bar pan (remember I broke mine to pieces) and a mixing bowl (I threw my other one on the floor in a fit of rage...seriously...and I LIKED IT! it was plastic) I left with those two things and a safety knife for kids. I'm just not the one you REALLY want at your party. So, at this party we were trying on clothes. It was fun, I had lost a little bit of weight and this one skirt felt phenomenal! I could spin in it, and it was a size smaller than I usually wear. I loved it. I did not go to the party with this skirt in mind. In fact, I knew I wasn't going to buy anything. I just couldn't. I did, however, LOVE the skirt.

Time passed. I stayed home from church one Wednesday night with a sick child and when Mike came home he dropped a plastic garment bag in my lap. "What's this?" I asked with a smile. I thought maybe I had loaned someone something and they returned it in this particular bag. "Tandy gave it to me, she said it was yours." I had no idea what he was talking about. "What? What is it?" I pulled the plastic up and would you believe it was that skirt!!! "WHERE DID THIS COME FROM??? DID YOU BUY THIS FOR ME???" No, ladies, he did not...I know, that would have been sweet...I think it's even better. I called Tandy and she said that another woman purchased the skirt for me. WHAT??? I immediately called the other woman to thank her...not to try to give it back!

Do you know what her response was, "Well, I had saved my money, and there wasn't anything that I felt as good in as you did in that skirt. Watching you spin around and look so nice, I just wanted you to have it." Yes, that's the truth. She just saw how much I enjoyed it and wanted me to have it. It wasn't cheap. She had saved her money to buy something for herself, and instead purchased something for me. So, I hung it in my closet and never wear it, for fear that I will ruin it.

Wouldn't that be a waste? Her money would be so wasted if I never pulled that skirt off the hanger. The reason she bought it was because I enjoyed being in it! I didn't hang it up and gaze at it and talk about it at the party. I tried it on. I spun around. I talked about how perfect it would be with a pretty sweater and some nice brown boots. "It's so versatile! You can wear it with everything!" She bought it because she knew I would love it, I would wear it...I'm sure she would be happy to see it worn out in my closet. That would be money well spent. A gift that was used, enjoyed, worn out and loved.

What have you got hanging in your closet? What gifts have you been given that you don't really want to get messed up? Maybe you are afraid you'll get a hole in them, or you can't find anything to wear with them. Maybe the gift that is hanging in your closet is your salvation. Maybe you have invited Christ to be Lord of your life, and you have the gift of salvation...of Life EVERLASTING and there it hangs. Pretty as a picture. Maybe you go in and look at it, you stroke it, try it on every now and then...and put it back, afraid to enjoy it because you don't want to get it dirty, you don't want Christ to look bad.

It would devastate my sweet friend if I never wore that skirt. She didn't want a thank you note, I'm not indebted to her forever because she spent her hard earned money on me. Her only request was that I ENJOY the skirt.

Christ left heaven. He put on flesh. He walked with us. He laughed with us. He cried with us and for us...then He died for us. His life for ours, not an even trade. He was the only one that could restore us with God. "The wages of sin is death, but the GIFT of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23 We didn't ask for it, we didn't save for it, we didn't die for it. The least we can do is enjoy it.

What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

Let's not work our fingers to the bone trying to repay. As we enjoy God, everything, and I do mean everything will fall into place.

Honestly, I have struggled to enjoy Him. I've struggled to enjoy anything these days. I know that I will only enjoy Him if I am spending time with Him. I think I'll go do that now. Spin around, ladies...enjoy that gift...we thank Him, by enjoying Him.

On Being a Wessner

I want to be careful with this post so as to not offend any other Wessner's out there, but I think most will agree that what I am saying is the truth. What am I saying?

The other day, maybe a week ago, Anson was being a little slow in the obedience department. When he finally arrived in the room I had called him to I asked, "Pal, what were you doing that took so long?" He responded, "Just noticing my ears." He's 6, he knows he has ears, I went on, "Really, what were you noticing about them?" He said, very matter-of-factly, "They're kinda big, don't you think?"

I'm not sure what I said at the moment, probably something to the effect that God made him well and blah-blah-blah. A few days later, however, it dawned on me. He has inherited from my side and Mike's side. He actually has what we call, well, "Wessner ears." I happen to love his ears and his Dad's ears. I wanted him to know that his ears were a sign that he was part of a bigger family. He had those ears because he was a Wessner...a pretty great thing to be! So, a few days later I said to him...

"You know bud, I've been thinking about your ears. Do you know why you have those ears? It's because you are a Wessner. That's something neat about some of the Wessner's. You have them because you are part of the family, it's something to remind you of who you belong to. I think it's kind of neat to have something like some other people in the same family. It's like you have it in common, and you can be proud of it, because we are proud to be Wessner's."

As I was talking to him something else came to mind. As we develop as believers there are things that set us apart as children of God. We are marked by God's Spirit. Christ in us sets us apart. What are some of those things? How about love? Joy? Peace? Patience? Kindness? Goodness? Gentleness? Faithfulness? Self-Control? These are not natural in our being, they are fruits of the Spirit that is alive within us. Sometimes we end up with convictions that don't look like our neighbor's or we make choices that seem crazy to a watching world.

I did talk to Anson about this as well. I asked him what things set us apart as followers of God? "When people look at you they know you are a Wessner because they see Daddy and know where you have inherited your ears. (and HIS BRAIN!!! Wessner's are awfully bright!!!) Is there anything that would show people that you belong to Jesus?"

I ask myself that same question. If people just caught a little teeny glimpse at my life, or caught me talking to my children when I didn't know the windows were open, what would I sound like? Would they know I was a member of the family of God?

As I walk in His strength and rely on His Spirit I pray that my life will be a fragrant offering to the Lord.

Disney Theology???

Today was a fun day because we got to be with some of our most precious friends. I was feeling a bit generous, so I gave the kids a break from my John Denver Wildlife Concert CD's and Bebo, so they could listen to one of their Disney Classic CD's. I know, I know, mother of the year material!

On the way home, Hakuna Matata came on. There is something that I love about old Disney songs. Maybe it's that those are the songs that I know, and Disney just doesn't write songs like they used to! So, I was singing along and Anson calls from the back of the van, "Mom, it's right!" I turned it down a bit and asked what was right. "This song. Hakuna Matata. That it means no worries and if we have God on our side, we don't have any worries."

I'd have to say that Disney was right about this one. I thought immediately of Matthew Chapter 6:25-34 and how clear the author is about God's provision for His people. Not only His provision for His people, but how He provides for His creation! The lillies of the field, the birds of the air...why wouldn't He provide for His very own children!

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat? or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kindgom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:31-34

Definitely worth thinking about!

If you give a Mom a minute.

Whew! I am in a very busy stage of life and this little diddy has been coming to mind alot lately. I wrote it about 1-2 years ago and never shared it because I didn't know if since it was inspired by some other books I would get in trouble. It just seems to appropriate and I guess I should thank Laura Numeroff for the idea. Ella loves the "If you give a moose a muffin" and we have collected several of her other books. How many of you ever feel like this? It is written with very little periods, because periods represent a break...and we just don't get many of those. If you are out of breath at the end of it...that's the idea. Let's not wait too long to sit down and study our Bibles...even if all we have is a minute. Also I need to thank Lisa-Anne at The Maine Berry Patch for an award that she gave me several weeks ago.(so I just linked to where the award is on her blog...you'll love visiting her...and I am really bad at putting anything but words on this blog!) I was so surprised and humbled by it, I didn't know what to do. I don't know exactly how to move it to my blog...but I wanted to say thank you so much for your sweet words and kind award. It truly blessed my heart! Alright...to the blog...





If you give a mom a minute, she'll probably go to the kitchen to get a glass of water because she is trying to lose weight and stopped drinking sodas and is now forcing herself to drink water. While she's getting the ice out of the freezer she'll pull the meat out for dinner and then check the refrigerator to make sure that the fruit for the fruit salad hasn't gone bad yet. While she's checking the fruit she'll discover the bowl of leftover spaghetti in the back of the refrigerator that went bad and she'll decide she needs to clean out the bowl. Before she can wash the bowl she has to clean the dishes out of the sink that her family forgot to put in the dishwasher. When she opens the dishwasher she remembers that she was too tired to empty it last night and has to empty it before she can load it before she can wash the dishes. As she is putting the last knife in the knife drawer she remembers her friend was missing a knife and asked her to check if she left it at her house. So, she decides since the drawer is open she should clean it out to look for the knife. Then, she hears a loud noise that reminds her that the sheets in the dryer are clean so she pulls the sheets out of the dryer and figures she might as well put them on the bed so that they'll be ready for bedtime because Survivor is coming on and the kids have to be in bed by 8:00 so she won't miss the twist that's never been done before that is wreaking havoc on the island. While she's putting the sheets on the bed she stubs her toe on the metal frame and when she bends down to make sure that her toenail polish didn't chip, and to rub her throbbing toe, she finds the shoe that she couldn't find on Sunday morning. She says, "Praise God." Thinking of God reminds her that she hasn't read her Bible yet and it's already 2:30. She walks out to read her Bible, but as she walks by the kitchen she sees the dishes and remembers that she never finished cleaning out the moldy spaghetti. While she's cleaning out the bowl she thinks she might as well clean out the refrigerator since it needs to be done anyway. When the refrigerator is all cleaned out she realizes now that the moldy spaghetti, soggy salad, and chunky milk are gone, there is no food. So, she'll have to make her grocery list. When she sits down with her pen and paper to make her list, she'll remember when she used to sit down with pen and paper to study her Bible. That will remind her that she still hasn't met with Jesus. Since her Bible is still on the table from Sunday she opens it up and reads, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of living water welling up to eternal life." She'll probably thank Jesus for being the living water and that will remind her of her glass of water she left on the counter. Chances are that if she gets that cup of water, she'll want a minute to go with it.

The Bucket List

A few Friday's ago, Mike and I snuggled up to watch "The Bucket List." I really enjoyed it. Basically it's the story of two men, both dying, and doing all of the things that they've always wanted to do before the "kick the bucket." I loved the idea of it.

I think all of us have plans, dreams, hopes...things that we want to see come to fruition before we do, indeed, kick the bucket and so Mike and I started talking about our own lists. Of course there were large travel plans like, take the kids on an African Safari...in Africa! Perhaps one day we could cruise to the Mediterranean. We'd love to eat a fancy meal at a cafe somewhere. We want to see our children graduate and become people who love God and love others...well. There were other things not as lofty, but still desires, like, well, mop the kitchen floor!

I sort of store things in my head and then when I read something there is a party in my head when two things connect. Well, my brain had a party while I was reading Luke 2:25-32, it's a good read...

Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ. Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:
"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you now dismiss your servant in peace.
For my eyes have seen your salvation,
which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
a light for revelation to the Gentiles
and for glory to your people Israel."

This man's bucket list looked like this...

Things to do before I die...
1. See the Christ.


Pretty sweet, I thought.