It's all broken!!!

It started with hearing little feet pattering around prematurely. If the sun isn't up, why are they? I always get ready for dealing with a cranky person when that happens, well, 2 cranky people including myself! Then I tried to turn the stinkin' light on in the living room and the chain was over extended, and wouldn't turn the light on. The floor was littered with the stuff of life and folks weren't fired up about chili for breakfast. "Durn it Mike! Would you please fix that chain? I shouldn't have to pull a kitchen chair in here everytime I want to turn the light on! It's making me crazy." His response irritates me further, "Ali, it's not broken. It just doesn't work properly." Hmmm. Really? It just doesn't work properly? "Yeah, Mike, another word for that is...BROKEN!!!" He continues to argue (which is rather unlike him) that the light isn't broken, it simply malfunctions from time to time. "Call it what you want, Babe, it's broken to me and it's making me nuts."

It was then time to sit down to breakfast (y'all know we eat "dinner" food in the morning which is why it was chili) and read the Bible and pray for our kids and show them what it's like to put Jesus first and I just wanted to go back to bed. I bowed to pray, mostly because I wanted to get on with the torture of making people eat that which they do not, and said, "Lord, I say I'm frustrated, but what I really am is broken. Please help us, heal us...fix us I pray that we wouldn't make up excuses masking what is really wrong. Please. Amen."

We make excuses for practically everything. If my kids are cranky they are "tired" if they are snatchy they are "struggling with sharing" if they are lippy they are "trying to communicate" when really all of us are broken. Now, nothing is ever a perfect analogy...on our own we are a broken mess. I do have Christ's righteousness rather than my sin when it comes down to it, but in this world, in this life, before glory...I malfunction from time to time. I get angry and say things like, "What is wrong with your English that when I say, 'Get into the van' you 3 stand around chatting on the porch?" I say it loud and ugly and then look around to see if any of my neighbors heard me. I choose to check e-mail rather than read a book to the children begging for my attention. I get frustrated when lights malfunction and when children are "tired" and when my husband is late. We can call it whatever fancy word we can think of. We can make up excuses until we are blue in the face, but this world got a crack in it when the father of lies whispered seductively into the ears of our first parents, that "God didn't really say that."

He's working though. All of creation knows that it's coming. The reckoning. The day when it's all set right for good and forever and there are no more malfunctions. No more "Will you forgive me?" No more guilty consciences and shame. We have the hope now. We hope for that day. We have peace from God for sure. I know that I have been justified by grace through faith and that I will stand before a Holy God and not be consumed because of the work that Jesus did in His life and on that cross. I do, however, live in a world that is broken. I'm going to call it what it is and then look to my Savior to help me get from here to there with joy!

P.S.
The picture is somewhat unrelated, we wanted our family in PA to see Anson and Mike at the game. But, these are the best broken boys I've got!!!

A Cup Running Over

I thought about it this Sunday. We were waiting quietly after the first two verses of "The Old Rugged Cross" for the body and blood to be administered to us all. We had come to the table, bellied up for a reminder that God made a promise. Made and kept a promise. We never run out.

I grew up in a family of 5 kids. My step-dad worked insane hours at jobs that he was more than qualified for to be sure that we ate. Mom came home after all the other teachers and sometimes still had a heavy load of work to do. We ate dinner together. We had delicious meals. We "called" seconds. Do y'all know what that means? That means while you are still eating the food you've been given, you study what is left and you "call" it. It sounds like, "I call last biscuit! I call last drumstick!" We wanted to be sure that if there were extras, we got them. We would split the favorites from time to time, look out for each other, but we ate up to be sure! We never went hungry, please don't misunderstand, we just fought for leftovers!

As I sat in the very last pew this Sunday I smiled almost thinking that that's probably the only meal that I don't fret over running out. When I serve people at home I always make too much. I want people to be full when they leave. I usually have a big meal and dessert...just to be sure. When I go someplace to eat I am always nervous that there won't be enough, maybe we'll be hungry. Mostly this reveals an unhealthy love of big portions!!! However, this post is about The Table. The Table that has one requirement, that you realize how desperately you need to dine. The Table that says, "You've got nothing and I've got it all...and I'm giving it to you." The Table that beckons the worthless sinner to run, not walk, to the seat next to the Master and says, "Eat and drink, I've made a way." That Table is one that you don't have to "call" seconds. There is always enough.

Are you hungry? I mean, hungry. I'm beginning to get my appetite back, I'd been sort of lazy for a while. Picking off the bones, or living off of leftovers. Why? There is a table spread before me. A table of abundant grace and mercy. A table that offers what this world cannot...life, and the everlasting type. Oh, man...I'm bout' starved thinking about it.

P.S.I put the picture up to prove none of us went hungry...and to show everyone this family that God continues to feed.
This picture was taken in December of 2008...it's hard to get recent pics as we aren't all together all that often. We are always thankful for His Grace when it happens!

Why Songs Matter

I'm beat. I think I'm having a delayed reaction to having a baby. Her first 6 weeks of life my husband was home and we had family in town and we were getting meals and I was practically on vacation everyday! So, now I'm not. The laundry and the meals...they are all still very alive and well. So, I'm sleepy. That's just an update.

The other night we got together with some other super Moms from our Classical Conversations Community. It was a getting to know you shin-dig, so I decided to get to know the real "you" we should answer 2 questions. They were, 1.)What song do you have to sing out loud no matter where you are or who you are with? 2.)What movie are you super excited to see with your kids...when they are old enough? My answers were, "I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more just to be the man to walk 1000 miles..." The movie? The Goonies. There were many songs and movies that we shared that brought some serious laughter. It was fun. Do you realize how many songs are stuck in your head? Ice-Ice Baby...you hear the music don't you...ALRIGHT STOP...collaborate and listen...or Blame it on the...you guessed it, the RAIN!

Growing up my family sang a birthday "medley." It starts with Happy Birthday, then Happy Birthday, Happy, Happy Birthday...this is your day but we have all the fun, then a big finish with Roll out the Barrel. My grandpa's doing. Everyone who has parties with us now sort of waits for it, some are like, "Can we eat yet? Blow out the candles already!" My kids sing it. We never told them, "This is how we do it." They were simply present when we sang it and it's their normal. My grandpa established a normal for our family that continues eventhough he is no longer singing with us. (He was super awesome at a party!!!)

I would like to challenge you all with a little something. God's Word. Now, I'm no professional, but we've started doing some stuff that actually works. We have been choosing Psalms and putting them to our own tunes and committing them to memory. So far we have the following chapters memorized 23, 24, 121, 65, 67, 84, and we are just about finished with 34. I'm not tooting our horn (although I'm proud of us for continuing this practice) I just want us to all be aware that what goes in, stays in. Another example, "Girl you know it's true!!!" We could play this all day long. We are all humming something all day. You know the, "I've got this song stuck in my head." How about, "I've got this Psalm stuck in my head." It will matter for generations to come. I want a new normal for my family tree, I think most of us do! Do you have any tricks for memorizing scripture? Please share!!!

So let us know...

The grass doesn't bend under my barefeet, it breaks completely. It's dusty and dry and hot as blue blazes. I walked out to get some paint from the van, "I don't know what this heat will do to it if it sits in there all day." I told Anson as I walked into the electric blanket of Georgia heat. Something you hear around here when it rains is, "Man, we sure needed it." We so welcome rain around here. We seem to think it cools the air, but I think it simply cools the asphalt for a spell. Either way, we welcome the rain.

How is your soul? Dry, dusty? Does it bend or does it break when pressure is applied? We have been (finally) diligent in reading the word with our children and I'll tell you what, my soul is softening. My heart is beginning to yearn for Him again. My desires are for His desires to be fulfilled in me. I am smelling the rain (oh how I love that smell) in the distance and know that I desperately need some rain to fall on my parched soul. Lord, Jesus, indeed rain on me!

When in Africa we worshipped in this little chapel on our property. We didn't have any fancy equipment. We has some guitars and some college students lifting their voices in earnest prayer and petition to their One and Only. One of my favorite songs that we sang in that little chapel, and in our little combies (those were our vans) was a song that came from Hosea 6:3, the song paraphrases the verse:
So let us know
echo: So let us know
So let us press on to know the Lord
So let us know
echo: So let us know
So let us press on to know the Lord
His going forth is as certain as the dawn and He will come to us like the rain
Like the spring rain watering the earth
Let us press on to know the Lord.

Mike and I started teaching the kids that song over the weekend and I can't tell you how my heart rejoices at the opportunity to press on with my 4 little sinnin' blessings by my side. Refining me, challenging me, loving me and urging me to press on to know the Lord.

So, if your soul is parched, dry, cracked and looking brown and dead...take heart...He will come like the rains. Press on.

One Week Later!

Hello There!
My dear sweet husband posted the baby information and wasn't sure if I used names of our children on this blog. So, here is a little bit more information on...
Caroline Marie Wessner I sent this out in an e-mail as well, so some of you may have it...but this is for those of you that I don't have your e-mail or for those of you blog surfing just curious about some random family that just had their 4th baby...

Greetings!

One week after our little peanut has arrived and I am able to sit in this uncomfortable chair long enough to write a skinny report on how she got here...EARLY!!! For those of you who just need the facts:



Caroline Marie Wessner was born on Friday, June 17 at 1:32 via c-section. She weighed 9 pounds 10 ounces and looks very much like her big brother Anson! We cannot believe she's here...



For those who want some details:

I am a large pregnant lady and many people don't think I'll make it to the seventh month. I have, however, never gone into labor...until Caroline. I was nervous about going into labor because my doctor was on vacation in Charleston and I didn't know if I would know what labor felt like. I'd be the crazy lady showing up delivering in the parking lot because I didn't know that I was in labor...and I've already had 3 kids!!! For those of you who don't know...all 3 kids (4 now) have been c-sections. So, my sister told me that I would certainly be able to tell the difference between real contractions and braxtion hicks. Here is the difference...you want to hit someone when you are having a real contraction. So, I was up for 2 nights wanting to pound my sleeping husband's face in and then I realized that perhaps I should call my Dr. So, I was tired and grumpy and scared last Friday and I called him on his vacation, apologized for bothering him, and asked what I should do. He sent me to his office where I was monitored and checked for "progress." For the first time EVER I had progress!!! I was 80 % effaced and 1 cm dilated. After the Dr. told me I said, "Really??? I've never done any of that before!!!" She said that we should go ahead and have a baby because there was no way I would make it until Monday. Monday was the day of my scheduled c-section. So I said, "Well, can you hand me my purse, I should call my husband." Well, for those of you who know us, you know we only have 1 phone...and I had it. So, Mike was heading downtown to get the kids to camp at our church so I left a message on my own answering machine!!! How nuts is that, "Hey Babe, it's me. The Dr. said we should go ahead and have the baby. Our Dr. is on his way home to deliver Caroline. Go ahead and pack the clothes I laid on the bed and just get here before Coach. (Coach is what we call my OB)" So, then Mike gets this message and calls me back. Thankfully my Mom was able to pick my kids up from downtown and Mike's parents were here by 10:45. It was so much fun seeing how all things had been planned and prepared. As I sat in the Dr. office I thought of Psalm 139..."all my days were ordained for me before one of them came to be...how precious to me are your thoughts O God, how vast is the sum of them." We planned a day and the Lord had a day already. There was almost a relief knowing that it was "time" and we were not pushing things. I was thankful to say the least. So, Mike showed up and the kids and our parents and we glowed with excitement to meet our newest gift.

So, we got the medical part out of the way (I really detest the epidural!!! I love how I feel, but I don't love the idea of a needle in my spine!!!) and I was wheeled back to have my baby. It was one of the harder deliveries I have had. I had some nausea which has never happened and felt a bit more pressure than in the past. However...to hear her cry and see her face...wow!!!

She looks like Anson. She's super cute and cuddly and now that she has milk (it took 2 or 3 days this time so she was slightly hungry) to drink she hits that milk coma and can be passed around from one doting sibling to another. The kids are smitten to say the least! Ella says, "When is my sister going to wake up?" They kiss her and check on her and constantly ask if they are the next one to hold her. I hog her, to be honest. You just never know when you are holding your last baby. I have also enjoyed just laying low. I am so thankful for all of you that have called and left messages and have signed up for meals. We were going ninety to nothing the last 3 weeks and even if I hadn't have had a baby via surgery I think I would have attempted to disappear! Whew! So, we'll be returning to the land of the living soon...until then I wanted to tell you all sort of what happened, why she was early and why I have disappeared a bit...I'm just falling in love all over again. With my baby...with my husband...with the God of Heaven and Earth that would not withhold this sweet treasure from our family. I can't wait for you all to see her...to get to know her...and for all of us to know the story God has for her.

So, thanks for reading this...for caring about us...and Caroline...Sweet Caroline.


Love,

Ali on behalf of the whole Team Wessner!

New Team Member!

We welcomed our newest member of Team Wessner today!

21.5" long and 9 lbs. 10 oz.!

Here are a few of the first pictures to enjoy.

Persistent like Ella

"Mom, I want to show you the dress that I want to wear today, and I know you're gonna say 'No.'"

This is how our dialogue goes on most Sunday mornings. Now, I am sure that many of you have all the clothes picked out with socks and shoes and belts located on Saturday night...I think that is so smart...but I can only think about it. So, Sunday morning we are choosing and finding and all that good stuff. So, Ella has this BEAUTIFUL dress that came from someones trunk (who loves that??? ME!!!) It's a gorgeous white Strasburg dress with pearl beading. I could never buy it. It has short sleeves, though, so I have had to keep saying "no." Today, however, the forecast was sunny and 80. I followed Ella into her room and said, "Today is the perfect day to wear that dress. I just need to iron it." Needless to say, she was thrilled. She looked like a picture and I am so very thankful for the generosity of our church family. We have some of the most LOVELY dresses hanging in our closet and with 3 girls (did you know I was having another girl???) I'm so very grateful. So, in church I was thinking about the whole scenario and thought, "I wish I were more like Ella."

Every Sunday for the past several months she has asked to wear that dress. Every Sunday for the past several months I have said, "no." I stop asking the Lord. When He says, "No" one time, I quit. The only reason why I wouldn't allow Ella to wear the dress was because the season wasn't right. How do I know what season it is in the Kingdom of God? Is it time to rescue my brother from the pain of the fall? Is it time to send my family overseas? Is it time to sell our house? I can keep asking. He may keep saying, "No." But won't that be a sweet day with my heavenly Father when He smiles at me and says, "Today is the perfect day for that dress, my love. I'm so glad you asked."

How about you? Do you keep asking? If I weren't so painfully tired with a good bit of reading yet to do for my Perspectives Class tomorrow night I would find the passage regarding the man that kept on knocking on his neighbors door. Do you remember that one? God, help me to knock until my knuckles bleed. Amen.