You are such a pathetic loser!

Harry: So you got fired again, eh? 
Lloyd: Oh yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, you know? 
Harry: Yeah, well, I lost my job too. 
Lloyd: Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense. 


We've been moving into a house that we never moved out of!  How crazy is that?  Mike has spent his vacation (I don't think we should call it that) building floor to ceiling shelves in our living room to house all of our favorite treasures (our books) and we are finding space here and there to make our space functional and beautiful.  So, we have been working!  The other day we were cleaning out under our bed and Mike found his old VHS tapes...that sounds like they were bad...they were old movies that he recorded when he would have cable at random...wow that sounds even worse!  Bill Cosby Himself (so funny) So I Married and Ax Murderer and Dumb and Dumber...just to name a few.  So, we snuggled up the other night to watch a fuzzy Dumb and Dumber.  The exchange between Harry and Lloyd over losing their jobs cracks me up.  How does Lloyd NOT believe that HE is a pathetic loser?  Only poor Harry.  I know how...the plank and the speck.


It's the ole' I can see your sin because I have the same stinkin' mess going on in my own heart.  I can see the faults of others pretty clearly and as soon as the Lord reveals their sin to me (when I've got my judgement face on) I realize, "Oh man, it must be in my life too!  UGH!"  Recently we've been dealing with a lot of sin in our home.  I know, huge surprise!  Just spirits of ingratitude and always wanting just a little teeny bit more than what they've been given.  The boy has been being the typical older brother that ANNOYS the stew out of us sisters.  Just blah.  Really...blah.


How do we miss it?  How is it that we forget so quickly what we smelled like when we were pulled out of the mud and mire?  How quickly does the cross only apply to those that are really bad off?  Prostitutes and drug dealers are the only ones that really need a Savior.  Not gossipy, controlling, church folk.  I get to a place where everything is going well and I start calling others pathetic losers (obviously not to their face! DUH) not realizing the irony of the statement.  It takes one to know one doesn't it?  


You know what else?  It goes the other way, too.  When my sin is all too evident and I know my need, I can see that someone else is redeemed and an heir to the throne of God, but I act like an orphan begging for scraps outside the temple.  That is probably just as unhealthy.


You know the solution?  The Gospel.  All day every day.  The Gospel.  The truth that I have pathetic loser tendencies and without Christ I'm on the road to dumb and dumber.  With Christ I am more than victorious and a child of the Living God.  I was bought at a price and redeemed by the Son.  So, if you know me and you ever think I'm judging you...you can remind me of the stank that I came from.  You can point me to the Cross where my own sin and sorrow were laid down, then let's walk to the tomb.  Let's look inside.  Let's search like Mary did to find her precious Lord.  Let's listen for Him to call us by name and let's glory in the truth that we are not who we were...and it's all for His glory.

Stopped

I just sat down for a minute in the quiet to check my e-mail and my reader and I got stopped.  The Desiring God post, "Jay and Katrina Didn't Waste Their Lives" stopped me in my tracks.  Please read the article.

I felt like I had a lot to say, but really, I just want to be fully alive like these two Jesus followers were. I just don't want to waste my life.  Jesus...protect my heart from the lies of this world and help me to fully live, where I am, that I may shine like the stars in the universe. 

It's Raining, It's Pouring, The Kitchen is Flooding

We came home from church and the kitchen was flooded.  "Well, I'm glad we came home before we went to Mom's."  Mike put his swimming trucks on and headed to the roof to clean the gutters.  That probably would have been easier in the sunshine...but wouldn't everything?  Sometimes it just rains.  We piled the towels on the floor, grabbed what we needed for a drop-in reception and dinner at Mom's.  Somehow we weren't all that flustered.  We just did it.  We just kept moving...even in the rain.

It felt like a really long day.  By 8:30 after some snuggling and reading the kids were finally in bed.  Although Mike and I liken bedtime to trying to keep lightening bugs in an open bucket! (That's what our crazy kids do!)  We bellied up to the table for our favorite summer past time...games and the Reba McEntire station on Pandora.  Country just feels good in the summer.  All the oldies rush back...George Strait (LOVE HIM), Tracy Lawrence (Loved him briefly) some Reba (Fancy don't let me down!)...maybe some Travis Tritt...good stuff!  So, I dragged myself from my comfy chair (here's George Strait now...dancing in my chair...he's got a fool-hearted memory) to the kitchen chair and remembered I never wiped up the floor where Big C ate...and then deposited all of her unwanted food onto the floor.  Unfortunately my dog doesn't eat his veggies either!  "UGGGG I never wiped that up."  This won't last forever. 

Yesterday I caught up with my friend Hazel from up the street. I've mentioned her before and I always leave her porch with new and refreshing perspective.  She raised 3 kids in her little house, buried her husband 25 years ago, and always has time for us to sit on her porch.  Listening to Hazel talk about her children's children gives me that dose of "all life is a vapor" that I need.  She's the one that told me when I was pregnant with Ella that "the Lord always makes room for more children."  How right she was.  We are trying to remove those things that are taking up too much space and bring some order and beauty to our little abode, and it's exciting and daunting.  Mike has a HUGE task for the summer, building shelving for our living room (which is really our house) and it keeps raining. I don't feel like it's going to stop, and we sort of need the sunshine.  But, what are we to do?  In the south when it rains this is what everyone says, "Whew, would you look at that rain. Well, we sure needed it."  We always do.  We always need the rain, but it sure makes the sunshine brighter! 

So, to keep from rambling...sometimes it just rains.  We have to just keep moving.  This is a tough time of parenting.  The constant training and teaching, but then I look at my older children who are growing and changing and becoming such cool people to be with and I see the Son-shine.  The wonderful thing is that He sends the rain because we need it.  We need the rain to water our ground so that all that is green can survive.  He is planting things in our lives that will not survive without the rain.  So, we keep moving and growing and thriving and enjoying our baby and growing children amidst the mess and chaos and noise because the rain is just as much of a blessing as the sun.

Isa 45:8 -

"You heavens above, rain down righteousness; let the clouds shower it down. Let the earth open wide, let salvation spring up, let righteousness grow with it; I, the LORD, have created it.

Ho 6:3 - We sang this verse in Africa, and I have always loved it!

Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth."

It is HIS Name!!!!!

"Babe, what are you going to do?  Are you going to have them copy the map on paper or trace it? Do you have a song for that memory work?  I'm just saying...people are paying for this and they have expectations!" 

Last week was our Classical Conversations Parent Practicum.  Mike was asked to teach the GeoArt camp and he happily accepted.  I happily went to work micromanaging my perfectly capable husband.  I wrote the lesson plans, made the copies, checked out books...I was going to be sure the week was a success and one more teeny tiny thing...make sure that I looked good.  Yikes!  My flesh is nasty, but as usual, I learned a little something.

At the end of the week the camps come in to give a quick sampling of all they have learned. Mike's group was going to do their chant of the highest peaks on each continent (do you know them?).  So, he walked up and a few friends looked at me and grinned.  I was excited.  So they did their little thing and they really did a fantastic job.  It was great!  My one friend commented on how he had to live up to the name and I laughed and responded, "Yeah, I told him, I've made a name for us...you better not let the Wessner name down!"  HAHAHA  I also muttered something about having "pumps to fill" even though I don't often wear pumps.  Anyway...they did a great job and he didn't let the Wessner name down. 

Here's why he didn't let the name down...it's his name too!  In fact, now that I think about it, it was his name first!!!  Jiminey Christmas!  He's been a Wessner a lot longer than I have been.  He knew Ruth and Arthur, those brave souls that raised 5 boys in a Pennsylvania row home.  He knew the Wessner's that I named my children after, and never met.  He was raised a Wessner.  He has Wessner ears and brains.  He knows the name. 

I've carried the name for almost 12 years.  I carried another name.  I know the power of a name. I know that when you have a good name it's worth far more than riches. I  know that if you do something good folks remember your name.  I know if you do something horrible...folks will never forget your name.  I carry the Wessner name, and I also carry someone else's name.

Every time I mention Him, I am claiming His name.  I find myself telling Him what I told my husband.  "Don't screw up.  People are watching you. I've made a good name for you, don't you go messing it up by not showing up and showing off!"  I love the Lord, He says the same thing, "Ali, sweetheart, it was my name first."  HE is the One that has made a name for himself.  He should be telling me not to screw things up or He'll look like an idiot...not the other way around.  Still, I count my awesomeness as so helpful to God.  He totally needs me and is so glad to have me on His team.  Really?  Nah...He LETS me play on His team.  He is glad to have me...but only because of Christ.  Not because I really bring a bunch to the table, in fact, if I bring ANYTHING it's because He gave it to give.  So, as we've struggled with our house (not selling) and figuring out what we're supposed to do, I return to His Name.  His Name above all names.  The Name that saves and spares and redeems and refreshes.  The Name that was and is and is to come.  The Name that was the same yesterday, today and forever.  The Name that I carry.  The Name that was sealed in me through the Spirit poured out on me guaranteeing my inheritance. 

So, I rest.  Rest in the fact that His Name hems me in behind and before.  I rest knowing that His Name will be exalted above all other names.  I rest that I carry that name and because of Him I can't screw anything up.  His Name is sovereign, not mine. 

Mostly Dead

"It seems that your friend here is only mostly dead."  I love the Princess Bride.  Miracle Max makes this assessment of Westley after he has spent some time in the Pit of Despair.  I think for most of my Christian life I have been only "mostly dead."

That's weird isn't it?  Christians should be fully alive.  Hap-hap-happy all the time, right?  Well, yes, but there is one problem, we have to die first.  Even weirder, the Bible says that we were dead in our sins and that Christ brought us to life.  Hmmm  Certainly great blog material for someone way more skilled that myself.  Here's what I'm thinking.

Galatians 2:20 states
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Last night I was hanging out with Sweet Caroline while the rest of my family was enjoying an end of the year musical at my husband's school.  I have spent time in many lobbies while the rest of my family sat in their seats, enjoying the performance, but I haven't always been glad about it.  I realized the other night that I didn't mind.  Not only that, but I was thankful for the opportunity.  I thought, "I think I'm finally dead."  That's a funny thought probably to some of you.  But not to me.  Most of you know I became a Christian in college at the age of 19 and a very familiar phrase was, "Die to the vision."  We all had grandiose ideas of what we thought God could and should do in our lives, and more often than not we had to "die to the vision."  Mostly because our vision was poor. 

As I became a Mom I thought that I had to die to a lot of stuff.  Bikinis for sure!  Quick trips to the store for those last minute dinner items...or a dinner out without planning!  Movies...sleeping in....the list goes on and on!  I found myself getting frustrated regularly when things just didn't go my way.  A nap was missed, or someone woke the sleeping person.  Company stayed too long, or didn't come at all.  You name it. I couldn't take it.  I wasn't dead.  I still had my own agenda. I had my own ideas about my days.  I love Jesus.  He has kept me by His side since He called me to Himself, but I am a slow learner and have been dying a slow death.  My dreams for my house, for my children, for my spare time...they aren't mine. If I have been crucified with Christ...and He lives in me...I must surrender, "die to the vision."  Something amazing is happening though.  The more dead I become, the more alive I feel.  I'm not so quick to freak out when I hear someone stir early.  Or when someone doesn't eat, or eats too much or needs a bath...or a book...whatever it is.  God is orchestrating all of my days.  All of the days of my children as well.  I can sit down and stop conducting. I can rest...I can die.

So, I'm still working it out in my head and in my life.  But I think being "mostly dead" is where most of us live.  We put in our two cents, sigh, roll our eyes, and struggle to rest...forgetting that the LIFE is found in The Death.  Wow.  Where else does death mean life, but in Christ? 

So, this Mother's Day when I'm still "working" I'm going to dwell on dying.  I'm going to rejoice at the opportunity to lay down my life for someone else and take joy in celebrating the Life that God has given me.  How about you?  Have you spent any time in the "pit of despair?"  Are you, like Westley, only "mostly dead."  Or are you completely dead with the only Life coming from The Only Life? 

Hmmm.

COME AND GET IT!!!

"Good Humor ice cream!  Cold soda, yogurt, froze fruit, candy and bubblegum!  Good Humor! Over 80 different kinds of ice cream!"  Then the bells again and then, "COME AND GET IT!!!"

I have no idea what his name was, where he was from or where he is now, but the "Good Humor Man" is probably one of my favorite childhood memories.  I had the privilege of spending my summers on Long Beach Island (that would be the Jersey Shore) and I don't remember a year without the familiar sound of the bell and the voice.

The shore would be littered with brightly colored umbrellas and hard working folks from the tri-state area and beyond who were looking for a little break from monotony of their everyday.  The ice cream men would come throughout the day and ring their bells from the top of the street.  Most of them carried a bell that was made up of many bells and they had a more annoying chattering sound when shaken.  Some of them would holler at the sandy folks and others would simply expect their bells to do the work for them.  Not him.

He was much older, and weathered.  The white hair that he had made a ring around his head leaving the top at the mercy of the sun.  I don't remember him having any facial hair, maybe a mustache.  Never clean shaven.  He wore a white ribbed tank top and cut off blue jean shorts.  His socks would pull up to mid shin and his loafers kept his feet safe from the sun warmed sand. He carried a cigar in one hand and the bell in the other.  You could hear him walking from the road.  He carried one bell.  Similar to the kind in a hand bell choir, but one that worked much harder...or was harder worked rather.  As he found his footing in the sand the bell would ring in time with his steps.  We all knew it was him.  You could heads look up and toward the street, checking, was this the guy?  Then he'd begin ringing it....ring a ding a ding a ding a...then the mantra, "Good Humor ice cream!  Cold soda yogurt, froze fruit, candy and bubblegum!  Good Humor! Over eighty different kinds of ice cream!" Then there would be a ringing interlude, if you will, and then, "COME AND GET IT!"  Boy would we.  We'd all grab our dollars with our sea wet hands and scramble to get in line for what seemed to be the best ice cream ever!

As you approached the truck you could hear him talking with all of the kids that had rallied around to choose their memory.  Mine?  A snowcone.  Almost every time.  It seemed to last the longest.  He'd say things like, "And for you sweetie?"  He had a heavy accent, one that was so wonderful to me.  It was rough and gentle.  Spending my school months in GA made me enjoy listening to accents that didn't start with "y'all."  He was kind...he was the Good Humor man. 

Our school year just finished and for the end of the year "party" we decided to have an ice cream man come to the church where we meet (my kids are homeschooled, it was the last day of Classical Conversations or homeschooling group that we meet with once a week).  We didn't tell the kids and they went nuts!  Imagine getting to "order" what you want from the ice cream man.  This man looked nothing like my "man" but he was good...and we all recounted our ice cream truck memories.  This made me think of another call to "COME AND GET IT!" that is found in Isaiah 55

1 "Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. 2 Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. 3 Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live. I will make an everlasting covenant with you, my faithful love promised to David. 4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples, a leader and commander of the peoples. 5 Surely you will summon nations you know not, and nations that do not know you will hasten to you, because of the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, for he has endowed you with splendor."

Everytime I hear this verse I think of those scattering and scampering up to that truck.  Buzzing with excitement.  We waited on him.  We recognized his voice.  We wanted what he was selling.

Are you thirsty?  Are you broke and hungry?  I want to invite you to come and drink of the water that will satisfy.  Come, buy and eat...that your soul may live.  Jesus is certainly more precious and valuable than any ice cream man, but this summer when you hear the music and your kids start clammoring for his wares...indulge them and then while their smiles are fresh and they are dripping with memories...share this with them.  The One who calls us out of our poverty and into His splendor...satisfying us to the end of the age with His unfailing love.

COME AND GET IT!!!

A New Language

When people find out that our son is taking a Latin class, they inevitably ask, "Why Latin?" It is a very common question, and doesn't bother us, but we always answer the same, "Because Latin is the foundation for practically every other language." Anson even asked one time why he was taking a Latin class. He came to the conclusion that he could be a missionary to "Latin America!" Now that is just plain funny!

Where I am not taking a Latin class, I am learning a foreign language. It's a language of Empires and Storm Troopers. It's a language of long ago in a galaxy far, far away. Guess what it is? Star Wars!!! Lego has been kind enough to develop building sets and websites for movies that make boys crazy! For a few years he's been building Y-wing fighters and collecting Anakin minifigures. It was probably a few months ago he was showing me a "Boba Fatt" guy and some weird talking alien and I thought, "I can't understand a word coming out of his mouth. I've got to get this language." So, I told Mike I needed to be trained. I would be his "Padawan." If you will.

We started small. Mike decided that Anson would watch the movies in chronological order, not the order that the movies were made. For those of you who don't know, the old movies (the ones that came out when we were kids) are actually the last 3 installments. The new movies (that came out at the end of the 90's and early 2000's) are of the beginning...you see who Darth Vader is and why he chose the Dark Side of The Force. So, that's where we started. Mike was going to watch these first, and then decide when and if Anson could watch them. That was fine with me. Until I couldn't talk to my boy. So, we watched the first one about a month ago. I enjoyed it, but wasn't crazy about it. Then a night or two later, we watched the second one and I took notes! A few of my notes, "Anakin has a lot of potential, but it's not harnessed. He is unwise. Why is Queen Amidala now a senator? Is Dooku a bad guy? Anger and fear lead to the Dark Side." Anson was quite impressed. I enjoyed the second one. So, then we were up for the third one. Anson will not be watching this one, and I will say of the 4 I've seen so far, this is the hardest to watch. It broke my heart. So much evil was present and almost all of it was for personal gain. So, last night we finished the 4th (we started it a few nights ago and I fell asleep). I enjoyed it and look forward to watching the 5th soon. So, why?

We request that our children listen to us. We request (demand) that they do what we say and do it sooner than later. When they are younger it's all about training and then when they get older, something happens. They develop interests that we may or may not care about. We enjoy the time alone while they are lost in their world for hours at a time and count ourselves lucky. Then, they grow up a bit more and they don't want to talk to us about those things that really matter. How did that happen? We were doing so well. There was peace and everyone was happy. Right? I think we lose our kids when we check out on those things that interest them. We have to earn the right to speak into their lives. They don't just hand that over. I'm watching Star Wars and talking about light sabers and siths because I want to talk about dating and marriage. I'm re-watching pod-races because I want to talk about finances. I'm going somewhere with this. It's not because I want to know why Lego has priced the Death Star at $139.00 (although that does interest me) it's that when there are matters of life and death, I want to be able to reach my son. The only way he's going to care about what I have to say later, is if I care about what he has to say now.

It's no small task raising children. We must be vigilant and engaged. We must do what it takes, no matter what that might be in order to stay involved in the lives of our children. The Dark Side beckons...may the Force be with us.