I have been attempting to digest my weekend. If you have never heard Kay Arthur speak...I could barely breathe listening to a 74 year old women challenge this generation to Holiness. This is not a blog about my weekend, although that will be coming soon...my son, Anson, has been wanting to post one of his "basic expressions" for a while, so we have a minute...here it is. Maybe we'll try to get pictures on later...I don't have pics on my laptop, so maybe this afternoon. Until then...here are a few things about Team Wessner
Anson Arthur age 5 1/2 Likes to play Power Rangers, Transformers and Rescue Heroes. His favorite book is Pirateology (from Aunt Aimee). His favorite day of the week is Sunday because he likes to worship God. Something I would like people to know about me is, I really like watching Tom and Jerry.
Julia May age 3 1/2 Likes to play Princesses and watch Tom and Jerry. Her favorite book is Anne of Green Gables (my soul wells up). Her favorite day of the week is also Sunday because she likes worshipping the Lord. Something I would like people to know about me is that I love to cuddle with Mommy and watching Princesses.
Eleanor Ruth (Ella) 1 1/2 (By Julia) She loves hugging Julia. She loves wrestling with me (Julia) and watching Sesame Street. Her favorite books are "Melmo" (Elmo) Books. We think Ella would want to know that she cuddles with Julia, play games, enjoys puzzles and DANCING!
Those are my children. Hopefully we'll get some pics for you. I've been a bit paranoid lately about pics and more info, but as I visit websites of others, I love seeing their children...so...I'll bravely step into the "uploading" world soon. Say a little prayer for me! Anson wants me to do my "information" here's a bit about me.
My name is Alison Irish and I am 30 years old. I am a former school teacher. I had a first year and a last year. I taught at a wonderful school in Valdosta, GA. It really was a great experience. I am now a full time wife and mother who plans on homeschooling our children through High School. I LOVE a good book. I just finished Blue Like Jazz and would highly recommend it. I enjoy folk music and Christian music that points me to my ever-increasing need for a Savior. I LOVE to study God's word and share it with others. I could go on and on. I have enjoyed the world of blogging and meeting new people through this process. I'll be back soon with a cup of cold water from the Deeper Still conference. If I can even talk about it without weeping!!! Have a great day.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
How many of you remember sixth grade? How many of you would love to forget sixth grade? I am one of those who remember it and would love to forget it. The awkward, self-absorbed, and self-conscious stage of my life is something that I would love to block from my memory. My problem is that I often times end up right back there and I don't even see it coming. All of a sudden I am very afraid that I don't fit in. I'm frightned that my friends might find out that I'm sort of dorky and that it won't be cool. I feel like I'm in a dimly lit gym, hanging out on the wall with "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" blaring from some cheap speakers. Why is that??? Probably because just like that awkward adolescent, I have become the center of my world. No longer am I concerned with the lives of those around me. I am host, co-host, and first guest of the Ali Show. Starring...you guessed it...Ali.
It creeps up on me. I'm going steady chasing Jesus with great zeal, "GOOOO JESUS!!! You are SOOOO GREAT!" Then usually God throws me a little curve ball. Maybe God doesn't do EXACTLY what I told Him to. Although, I'll describe that as "trusting." Usually it's more like, "demanding." Before you know it, I find myself in a 100% temper tantrum screaming because I haven't been treated fairly. I say really dumb things like, "I'm good!!! Why wouldn't you do this for ME???" After the tantrum I usually feel pretty bad and avoid God for a little bit. Do you do that? I sort of mutter that I'm sorry and ask if there is anything I can do for Him. It's like picking a HUGE fight with my husband, muttering I'm sorry and then baking brownies. I never REALLY dealt with my heart. So, I stop meeting with God and really devouring His word. I end up wandering a bit, which puts me in a great place to be attacked by our very real and very evil enemy. Since I'm not meeting with God on a daily basis, I start believing the lies. Do you ever hear these things? "Ali (you'll probably hear your own name), that's just plain stupid. Did you REALLY think that you heard from God? He's just trying to make you look like an idiot. He cannot be trusted, and you are awkward with big glasses." Then I CANNOT shake the anxiety that comes with being a loser. I talk to my husband. It's more like crazy talk. Talk that makes me feel even more like an outcast. Actually hearing my crazy thoughts makes me think, "Why do you believe this garbage???" And yet, I believe it.
I know what I must do in order to shake the lies. I must meet with God. I must abide in Him. One verse comes to mind. God had this to say to His children in Jeremiah. The title of the chapter is, "Israel Forsakes God" how does that sound? Here is what He says, "My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water." Jeremiah 2:13.
Just a little bit of trivia, a cistern was a well, or a pit that was used to hold water. The two sins that the people committed were 1. Forsaking God. They stopped worshipping Him and Him alone. 2. They dug their own cisterns. Which means that they created their own idols. They walked away from a fountain of living running water, God, and instead began worshipping their own idols. That was/is me. There I stand, completely in awe of the Living God. Looking at the fountain of living water running freely. It's not stagnant so that bugs can settle in, it's moving. What do I do? I grab my shovel and go dig my own little cistern. I worship the Ali Show. My idol is me. It's what people think about me, and what I think about myself. Why is this SO wrong??? God's word is the measuring stick for me. If I measure myself by any other standard, I end up a sixth grader. I end up feeling like I'm better than some, but still not good enough. I am my very own personal idol.
This has wrecked my week. I've been scattered and anxious worrying about what so and so thought about me for whatever reason. It's AWFUL and most of the stuff worked itself out. Do you know why? Becuase God is sovereign over all. He is the Living Water providing refreshment and life to me. I am so glad that I realized I was not worshipping God. Now, I must dive back into His word. Another favorite verse comes from Jeremiah 15:16, "When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name O LORD God Almighty." That is what I want my heart to be screaming.
I also think of Paul's warning in Philippians that reminds us to only dwell on the things that are noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. If I dwell on things that make me crazy I'm going to be crazy. If I dwell on on what is pure and lovely, so will my heart be. That means I should dwell on HIM...DUH!!!
So, after a week standing at a broken cistern I have my bags packed and I'm heading to Atlanta to the Deeper Still conference. What fabulous timing! So, let us all put our shovels down and stop digging our own little cisterns that won't even hold water. How futile. Yet, we do it. I'm so thankful for GRACE!!! I'm excited to tell you all how the conference went. Have a great weekend!
As I reread this, I think it's a bit scattered, but so am I!!!
It creeps up on me. I'm going steady chasing Jesus with great zeal, "GOOOO JESUS!!! You are SOOOO GREAT!" Then usually God throws me a little curve ball. Maybe God doesn't do EXACTLY what I told Him to. Although, I'll describe that as "trusting." Usually it's more like, "demanding." Before you know it, I find myself in a 100% temper tantrum screaming because I haven't been treated fairly. I say really dumb things like, "I'm good!!! Why wouldn't you do this for ME???" After the tantrum I usually feel pretty bad and avoid God for a little bit. Do you do that? I sort of mutter that I'm sorry and ask if there is anything I can do for Him. It's like picking a HUGE fight with my husband, muttering I'm sorry and then baking brownies. I never REALLY dealt with my heart. So, I stop meeting with God and really devouring His word. I end up wandering a bit, which puts me in a great place to be attacked by our very real and very evil enemy. Since I'm not meeting with God on a daily basis, I start believing the lies. Do you ever hear these things? "Ali (you'll probably hear your own name), that's just plain stupid. Did you REALLY think that you heard from God? He's just trying to make you look like an idiot. He cannot be trusted, and you are awkward with big glasses." Then I CANNOT shake the anxiety that comes with being a loser. I talk to my husband. It's more like crazy talk. Talk that makes me feel even more like an outcast. Actually hearing my crazy thoughts makes me think, "Why do you believe this garbage???" And yet, I believe it.
I know what I must do in order to shake the lies. I must meet with God. I must abide in Him. One verse comes to mind. God had this to say to His children in Jeremiah. The title of the chapter is, "Israel Forsakes God" how does that sound? Here is what He says, "My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water." Jeremiah 2:13.
Just a little bit of trivia, a cistern was a well, or a pit that was used to hold water. The two sins that the people committed were 1. Forsaking God. They stopped worshipping Him and Him alone. 2. They dug their own cisterns. Which means that they created their own idols. They walked away from a fountain of living running water, God, and instead began worshipping their own idols. That was/is me. There I stand, completely in awe of the Living God. Looking at the fountain of living water running freely. It's not stagnant so that bugs can settle in, it's moving. What do I do? I grab my shovel and go dig my own little cistern. I worship the Ali Show. My idol is me. It's what people think about me, and what I think about myself. Why is this SO wrong??? God's word is the measuring stick for me. If I measure myself by any other standard, I end up a sixth grader. I end up feeling like I'm better than some, but still not good enough. I am my very own personal idol.
This has wrecked my week. I've been scattered and anxious worrying about what so and so thought about me for whatever reason. It's AWFUL and most of the stuff worked itself out. Do you know why? Becuase God is sovereign over all. He is the Living Water providing refreshment and life to me. I am so glad that I realized I was not worshipping God. Now, I must dive back into His word. Another favorite verse comes from Jeremiah 15:16, "When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name O LORD God Almighty." That is what I want my heart to be screaming.
I also think of Paul's warning in Philippians that reminds us to only dwell on the things that are noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. If I dwell on things that make me crazy I'm going to be crazy. If I dwell on on what is pure and lovely, so will my heart be. That means I should dwell on HIM...DUH!!!
So, after a week standing at a broken cistern I have my bags packed and I'm heading to Atlanta to the Deeper Still conference. What fabulous timing! So, let us all put our shovels down and stop digging our own little cisterns that won't even hold water. How futile. Yet, we do it. I'm so thankful for GRACE!!! I'm excited to tell you all how the conference went. Have a great weekend!
As I reread this, I think it's a bit scattered, but so am I!!!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
I miss you all...
It has been a few days in between posts. I'm struggling with time...but hope to write soon. Thank you for checking in...
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
A Cup of Broken
Do your biscuits cook unevenly? Do you struggle to get your cookies to be chewy throughout? Does your chicken burn on the bottom when baked in the oven? Well, my friends, that is not you or your oven…that is your pan. What you need is some Pampered Chef Stoneware. I think that is some of the best stuff going! I had a round stone and a bar pan until recently.
I am a poor planner and an over-extender. That means I pack too much into a day and over extend myself and my meager abilities, on a regular basis. Last week I had done it again. I was in my way too small kitchen, making two meals and was negative as far as the clock went. Of course the kids wanted to help, Mike wanted to talk, and I wanted OUT! In my haste (and confusion) I turned the wrong burner on and heated the bar pan that was sitting on the front burner (no counter space) and all of a sudden there was an explosion. I screamed and then I almost cried. My bar pan exploded into 4 parts. What could I do? I saved the pieces of course. It may be broken, but surely it would still be useful, right?
A few days later I was putting the clean dishes away, and uncovered the pieces of my stoneware. This thought came to mind, “Broken things are not useful. Ali, you should really toss that and buy a new one.” I hate the thought of buying a new one. For those of you who have stoneware you know the beauty that comes with time. The stone is seasoned and turns black…it cooks everything to near perfection. Starting over makes me sad. I’ve cooked on that thing almost every night for close to 6 years!
As I continued in my quiet (still extremely small kitchen) I began thinking of my own life. I am not ashamed to say that I am, without Christ, an absolute mess! I thought about where I was when I gave my life to Him. I had just gone off to college for the first time. Man was I ever alone!!! My boyfriend was 3 hours down the road, my girlfriends were scattered about and I was really lonely. I don’t think that I ever realized how empty my heart was until that first night all alone. No one in the dorm cared that I was voted Best Personality of my senior class, no one asked if I was on homecoming court, or who my friends were… no one cared. All of the things that I had used to determine my worth were gone. I was broken.
Then I met Him. On January 16th of 1997 I decided that if this “Jesus thing” worked, I’d be different, I would be new. I wouldn’t be broken anymore. My prayer went a little like this, “Lord, I don’t know if this is going to work, but if it does…you can have my life. I’m sure you can do more with it than me.” I was exhilarated after that! I had no idea what that decision would cost me, or where it would take me, but I knew that I had been made new!
My sweet, sweet, roomie wrote out and illustrated (as only Dee-Dee can do) the first verse I ever memorized, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: the old has gone, and the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17. That still amazes me. God doesn’t “flip” us. He doesn’t knock down a few walls, give us fresh paint, tile, updated appliances and get more for His money. He is more like Extreme Home Makeover. You know how that show tears the house down and starts NEW from the ground up. That is my kind of Savior!!!
There is NO way my bar pan will do me much good in a bunch of pieces. Just like my life was not going to do much good being in a bunch of pieces. I held on, though. I counted the cost for about a week. I knew that a lot of my relationships would change; my attitude toward circumstances would have to change. I would change. On that day, I think it was a Thursday, I decided that being made whole was worth anything God asked of me. I wanted desperately not to be put back together again…I wanted to be made brand new.
That is what He did. You know, sometimes we still hold on to broken things in our lives. Perhaps it is a relationship, or an idea perhaps a dream of some sort. Often times we don’t realize that it’s broken, we just hold it tight so that it doesn’t shatter into a million pieces. My husband threw my stoneware out without asking me. He could see how useless it was. I loved it too much to believe that it was useless. He was right. Sometimes we need people to come into our lives and show us where our broken is. Where we need the Savior to tear down and rebuild.
I love that we are only useful broken when we are in the hands of our Master. We cannot piece our life back together and hope for the best. No amount of superglue will make us whole. We must lay our lives down at His feet and allow Him to not only rebuild, but become everything to us. One of my favorite verses (I probably say that a lot) is Psalm 73:25-26, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
I hope that this finds you all very excited about the healing and wholeness that comes from God and God alone.
Until Next Time…
I am a poor planner and an over-extender. That means I pack too much into a day and over extend myself and my meager abilities, on a regular basis. Last week I had done it again. I was in my way too small kitchen, making two meals and was negative as far as the clock went. Of course the kids wanted to help, Mike wanted to talk, and I wanted OUT! In my haste (and confusion) I turned the wrong burner on and heated the bar pan that was sitting on the front burner (no counter space) and all of a sudden there was an explosion. I screamed and then I almost cried. My bar pan exploded into 4 parts. What could I do? I saved the pieces of course. It may be broken, but surely it would still be useful, right?
A few days later I was putting the clean dishes away, and uncovered the pieces of my stoneware. This thought came to mind, “Broken things are not useful. Ali, you should really toss that and buy a new one.” I hate the thought of buying a new one. For those of you who have stoneware you know the beauty that comes with time. The stone is seasoned and turns black…it cooks everything to near perfection. Starting over makes me sad. I’ve cooked on that thing almost every night for close to 6 years!
As I continued in my quiet (still extremely small kitchen) I began thinking of my own life. I am not ashamed to say that I am, without Christ, an absolute mess! I thought about where I was when I gave my life to Him. I had just gone off to college for the first time. Man was I ever alone!!! My boyfriend was 3 hours down the road, my girlfriends were scattered about and I was really lonely. I don’t think that I ever realized how empty my heart was until that first night all alone. No one in the dorm cared that I was voted Best Personality of my senior class, no one asked if I was on homecoming court, or who my friends were… no one cared. All of the things that I had used to determine my worth were gone. I was broken.
Then I met Him. On January 16th of 1997 I decided that if this “Jesus thing” worked, I’d be different, I would be new. I wouldn’t be broken anymore. My prayer went a little like this, “Lord, I don’t know if this is going to work, but if it does…you can have my life. I’m sure you can do more with it than me.” I was exhilarated after that! I had no idea what that decision would cost me, or where it would take me, but I knew that I had been made new!
My sweet, sweet, roomie wrote out and illustrated (as only Dee-Dee can do) the first verse I ever memorized, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: the old has gone, and the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17. That still amazes me. God doesn’t “flip” us. He doesn’t knock down a few walls, give us fresh paint, tile, updated appliances and get more for His money. He is more like Extreme Home Makeover. You know how that show tears the house down and starts NEW from the ground up. That is my kind of Savior!!!
There is NO way my bar pan will do me much good in a bunch of pieces. Just like my life was not going to do much good being in a bunch of pieces. I held on, though. I counted the cost for about a week. I knew that a lot of my relationships would change; my attitude toward circumstances would have to change. I would change. On that day, I think it was a Thursday, I decided that being made whole was worth anything God asked of me. I wanted desperately not to be put back together again…I wanted to be made brand new.
That is what He did. You know, sometimes we still hold on to broken things in our lives. Perhaps it is a relationship, or an idea perhaps a dream of some sort. Often times we don’t realize that it’s broken, we just hold it tight so that it doesn’t shatter into a million pieces. My husband threw my stoneware out without asking me. He could see how useless it was. I loved it too much to believe that it was useless. He was right. Sometimes we need people to come into our lives and show us where our broken is. Where we need the Savior to tear down and rebuild.
I love that we are only useful broken when we are in the hands of our Master. We cannot piece our life back together and hope for the best. No amount of superglue will make us whole. We must lay our lives down at His feet and allow Him to not only rebuild, but become everything to us. One of my favorite verses (I probably say that a lot) is Psalm 73:25-26, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
I hope that this finds you all very excited about the healing and wholeness that comes from God and God alone.
Until Next Time…
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Father's Day!
Man, I had a really good post and tried to edit it and "poof" it was G-O-N-E...gone. So, I'll try it again. This time I'm leaving the typos!
In honor of Father's Day, I thought I would share a little bit about my husband. I know that he is not my father, but he is the one that I was closest to today...most days actually. I will say that I am a fortunate girl that through some broken and unfortunate situations, I ended up with a beautiful family and two Moms and two Dads. I call one Dad, and the other Gary. (I also have a Mom and a Pam) They are two very different men, and without them I'm sure I would be a very different woman. The older I get the more I want to know them, and about them. I'm extremely blessed! Happy Father's Day!!!
Now, for the Father that I watch grow and change on a daily basis...my Mike.
In 1999 I had the incredible opportunity, and took it, to spend a summer in Johannesburg, South Africa. Mike was also offered the same opportunity and that is where is all started. We were both involved with Campus Outreach and I was coming from Milledgeville, GA and he was coming from Valdosta, GA. I didn't know him, but what I did know was that he left a career in Engineering to be a P.E. teacher. WHO WOULD DO THAT? Someone I would want to marry. One of the many "criteria" on my "husband list" was that he must love children. Check. Throughout the summer I saw many other things in him that I would be willing to live with!
We partnered with another ministry in Africa and the leader was a very kind and wise man who offered me advice throughout the summer. I'm sure that God inspired his words, because they challenged me throughout the summer. He said to me, "Alison, when you are interested in a man, watch him. Watch him with children, watch him with his peers, watch him with the elderly. If he is inconsistent in his behavior, he is an unstable man and you should not be involved with him." How great is that??? When he said that I began watching.
I must say that at the beginning of the summer I would have said, "I'd like to marry a guy like Mike." By the end of the summer I was saying, "I'd like to marry Mike." I watched him. I watched him when he spoke gently to a van full of people who were barking out requests while he drove on the wrong side of the road, on the wrong side of the van. "Turn the radio on! Turn it off! Put in my tape! Turn the air on! Stop for an ice-cream bar!" We were brutal!!! He was so patient with us. I knew that I needed a patient man. I'm somewhat of a crazy woman. I noticed that on Evelyn's birthday he quietly converted our dining area into a dance floor so that Evelyn could dance on her birthday. We all grabbed partners and swing danced into the night. (Would that be "swung?" hmmm) I was sold when he went missing while we were in Botswana (while we were doing manual labor...I missed that clue!!!) and we found him playing soccer with the village children. It was such a gift to be able to spend so much time with him in such amazing settings. We brushed our teeth under the stars in the Kalahari Desert. We were humbled when God used our team to bring the Africans and the Afrikkans together in the name of Jesus. We got to be a part of a ministry that has grown tremendously in the last 9 years. It was an incredible experience.
Another word of advice I received that summer was this, "Alison, marry a man that you want your boys to be like." I thought, "I do want my boys to be like Mike. I would love for them to be athletic, and smart, thoughtful..." I'm so thankful that my boy is like his Dad.
Mike and I were married the next summer and we've grown into one another by God's grace. We have learned that communication is KEY and that he did not receive the spiritual gift of reading minds. I must "use my words"...as we tell our kids. He makes every effort to love me the way that Christ has called him to, and although he isn't perfect, he is perfect for me. Mike is really smart. I really believe that when it comes to brains I married up. He adds and subtracts in a way that I find amazing. Now, that may sound lame, but for someone who would be lost without her fingers...this is impressive!!! Mike is willing to learn how to do things. He doesn't want you do just do it for him, he wants to be taught, and he is an amazing student. He's been easy to train, and usually only pees on the floor once or twice a month! Hee, hee, hee!
Some of you may resent Father's Day for a number of reasons. Maybe your own Father was a loser, or your husband isn't the man you want him to be. I prayed for Mike for several years because I struggled under his leadership. I prayed for Mike, then I prayed for me. I'll tell you what, those "me" prayers made the real difference. When I extended grace toward Mike and recognized that God was at work in Him as well, I stopped being so hard on him. I struggle some days to get all of my stuff done, I should cut him some slack when the same happens to him. We are two folks living in process clinging to the cross with our fingernails. When you extend grace, wonderful things happen.
I've thought about posting about Mike before only it was going to be titled, "YOU ARE SO NOT JESUS!!!" I suppose you could probably figure that would be about how crappy Mike is at being my Savior. I don't know about you, but husbands make crummy Saviors. When I am looking to Mike to meet needs that only Jesus can meet...it's ugly. It's ugly and it's unfair.
So, that's a little bit about my story...our story. Some of you may be disappointed by this post...maybe sad...maybe you miss Mike. He left "home" to live in GA. I love being a member of Team Wessner. The entire Wessner clan is so precious to me. I gained so much when I said, "I do."
He's not my knight in shining armor...he's my P.E. teacher in muddy gym shoes. What's your story? Forget the knight...embrace the man that God gave to YOU.
An Alex note:
She is FINALLY losing some of the fluid. She has been REALLY miserable, but her spirits have been good. She is finally managing her pain and that seems to be making all of the difference. Mom is doing an AMAZING job taking care of her and I believe that their relationship is going to be so sweet because of this. Thank you for your continued prayers for my family. It's been a doozie!
In honor of Father's Day, I thought I would share a little bit about my husband. I know that he is not my father, but he is the one that I was closest to today...most days actually. I will say that I am a fortunate girl that through some broken and unfortunate situations, I ended up with a beautiful family and two Moms and two Dads. I call one Dad, and the other Gary. (I also have a Mom and a Pam) They are two very different men, and without them I'm sure I would be a very different woman. The older I get the more I want to know them, and about them. I'm extremely blessed! Happy Father's Day!!!
Now, for the Father that I watch grow and change on a daily basis...my Mike.
In 1999 I had the incredible opportunity, and took it, to spend a summer in Johannesburg, South Africa. Mike was also offered the same opportunity and that is where is all started. We were both involved with Campus Outreach and I was coming from Milledgeville, GA and he was coming from Valdosta, GA. I didn't know him, but what I did know was that he left a career in Engineering to be a P.E. teacher. WHO WOULD DO THAT? Someone I would want to marry. One of the many "criteria" on my "husband list" was that he must love children. Check. Throughout the summer I saw many other things in him that I would be willing to live with!
We partnered with another ministry in Africa and the leader was a very kind and wise man who offered me advice throughout the summer. I'm sure that God inspired his words, because they challenged me throughout the summer. He said to me, "Alison, when you are interested in a man, watch him. Watch him with children, watch him with his peers, watch him with the elderly. If he is inconsistent in his behavior, he is an unstable man and you should not be involved with him." How great is that??? When he said that I began watching.
I must say that at the beginning of the summer I would have said, "I'd like to marry a guy like Mike." By the end of the summer I was saying, "I'd like to marry Mike." I watched him. I watched him when he spoke gently to a van full of people who were barking out requests while he drove on the wrong side of the road, on the wrong side of the van. "Turn the radio on! Turn it off! Put in my tape! Turn the air on! Stop for an ice-cream bar!" We were brutal!!! He was so patient with us. I knew that I needed a patient man. I'm somewhat of a crazy woman. I noticed that on Evelyn's birthday he quietly converted our dining area into a dance floor so that Evelyn could dance on her birthday. We all grabbed partners and swing danced into the night. (Would that be "swung?" hmmm) I was sold when he went missing while we were in Botswana (while we were doing manual labor...I missed that clue!!!) and we found him playing soccer with the village children. It was such a gift to be able to spend so much time with him in such amazing settings. We brushed our teeth under the stars in the Kalahari Desert. We were humbled when God used our team to bring the Africans and the Afrikkans together in the name of Jesus. We got to be a part of a ministry that has grown tremendously in the last 9 years. It was an incredible experience.
Another word of advice I received that summer was this, "Alison, marry a man that you want your boys to be like." I thought, "I do want my boys to be like Mike. I would love for them to be athletic, and smart, thoughtful..." I'm so thankful that my boy is like his Dad.
Mike and I were married the next summer and we've grown into one another by God's grace. We have learned that communication is KEY and that he did not receive the spiritual gift of reading minds. I must "use my words"...as we tell our kids. He makes every effort to love me the way that Christ has called him to, and although he isn't perfect, he is perfect for me. Mike is really smart. I really believe that when it comes to brains I married up. He adds and subtracts in a way that I find amazing. Now, that may sound lame, but for someone who would be lost without her fingers...this is impressive!!! Mike is willing to learn how to do things. He doesn't want you do just do it for him, he wants to be taught, and he is an amazing student. He's been easy to train, and usually only pees on the floor once or twice a month! Hee, hee, hee!
Some of you may resent Father's Day for a number of reasons. Maybe your own Father was a loser, or your husband isn't the man you want him to be. I prayed for Mike for several years because I struggled under his leadership. I prayed for Mike, then I prayed for me. I'll tell you what, those "me" prayers made the real difference. When I extended grace toward Mike and recognized that God was at work in Him as well, I stopped being so hard on him. I struggle some days to get all of my stuff done, I should cut him some slack when the same happens to him. We are two folks living in process clinging to the cross with our fingernails. When you extend grace, wonderful things happen.
I've thought about posting about Mike before only it was going to be titled, "YOU ARE SO NOT JESUS!!!" I suppose you could probably figure that would be about how crappy Mike is at being my Savior. I don't know about you, but husbands make crummy Saviors. When I am looking to Mike to meet needs that only Jesus can meet...it's ugly. It's ugly and it's unfair.
So, that's a little bit about my story...our story. Some of you may be disappointed by this post...maybe sad...maybe you miss Mike. He left "home" to live in GA. I love being a member of Team Wessner. The entire Wessner clan is so precious to me. I gained so much when I said, "I do."
He's not my knight in shining armor...he's my P.E. teacher in muddy gym shoes. What's your story? Forget the knight...embrace the man that God gave to YOU.
An Alex note:
She is FINALLY losing some of the fluid. She has been REALLY miserable, but her spirits have been good. She is finally managing her pain and that seems to be making all of the difference. Mom is doing an AMAZING job taking care of her and I believe that their relationship is going to be so sweet because of this. Thank you for your continued prayers for my family. It's been a doozie!
Monday, June 9, 2008
Honk if you're tired of waiting.
I had "that" morning. The one where you keep picking things up and nothing looks any better. The kind of morning where you really do need to make a phone call and no one will respect you for it. The kind of day where what you want to do and what you have to do are in conflict with one another. The kind where you just want to pull the covers up over your head and let them eat cake!!! Can I get an "AMEN."
We were on our way to swim at a friend's house when I remembered seeing the children sitting in front of an open window and realized that I never shut the window and it was already 100 degrees out. So, I say, with no self-control, "You left that window open, didn't you?!?! Do you think that it's WISE to leave the window open when the air conditioner is on?" Do they really care? NO. I continued my rant, "Well, I cannot leave that window open while we are gone all day, so the consequence for YOU is that we are turning around and I'm closing it. That is going to make us even later for our swimming." I try to ignore the amount of gas that is going to be consumed, I think it was more of a consequence for me! I pulled in, slammed the window shut and thought, "I don't want my entire day to be like this." I went straight to our bottle of change and counted out enough money to buy the kids some Munchkins from Dunkin Donuts and for a Cappuccino Blast for me. I got into the car and said, "Guys, I have been lacking in self-control and I do not want our day to continue like this. Let's pray, and then we are going to restart." So, I prayed and we opened our eyes I said, "Good morning. Did everyone sleep well last night? Did you already have breakfast? Well, then let's go to Dunkin Donuts!" Restart.
So, on the way I found it to be an opportune time to discuss grace and mercy. I use donuts alot with this illustration because they are such a special treat that the kids understand grace. Grace: receiving that which we do not deserve. Mercy: not getting what we DO deserve. So, we talked about the Cross and how God poured out His wrath on Jesus (is that too much for pre-schoolers? Nah) so that we would not receive it, and how grace is the abundant life that we receive when we trust in Jesus' death and resurrection. By the end of this, Julia is ready to turn the radio back on, and it was about time to order.
"Yes, I would like 6 random Munchkins and a small Cappuccino Blast with whipped cream and cinnamon." She responds, as always, "Please pull forward for your total." Of course I pull up and sit. Now, I've been through there enough to know that a Blast takes a few minutes. While I was sitting there I thought, "Someone please notice that I'm sitting here." I started getting so annoyed that they were meandering around the store and no one came out to say, "Hey, thanks for coming, your Blast will be right out." They just ignored me. I thought, "I'm already late...come on already!" Please recall the conversation I JUST had with my children. You know what I felt like doing...honking. I felt like laying on the horn and being like, "Hurry it up already...I'm late as it is." Immediately I thought, "I wish I could honk on God." Does that make you giggle a little? It made me. It was such a perfect picture of where I am, most days, spiritually. I pray my little prayers and then I'm like, "HURRY IT UP, ALREADY! At least come to the window and recognize that I have placed my order!!!"
Yesterday at church Pastor Marty delivered a message that was meant for my heart. I've heard people say, "It was as if he was talking to me." I usually think, "That's nice." Yesterday my heart was so full it almost exploded right out of my chest. Marty spoke on praying bold prayers and being patient with the Lord. Believing that just because my Monday prayer isn't answered on Thursday doesn't mean that it won't be. I'm sure that the Israelites who were born and died in slavery thought that the God of Jacob had turned a deaf ear to their prayers for freedom. Fast forward to the group of Israelites who entered into the Promised Land. Those that tasted and enjoyed the milk and honey that flowed freely. They were the recipients of the faithful prayers that had gone before them. God was not neglecting them, He was doing it HIS way. Marty shared several scriptures from the New Testament that touched on how persistant prayers move God. I have to be honest, I'm not a prayer warrior, I'm a prayer quitter. I pray my prayers, look to the heavens with expectation and by lunch time I think, "Well, I guess that's not God's will." Was it God's will to deny the Promised Land? No, He was just working on His plan, not the plan of the people.
Mike and I have been praying big prayers and we feel like chickens. One of Marty's questions was, "Are you praying Big Prayers that will honor your Big God?" I have been spending too much time on prayers that are predictable and boring. I want to pray and wait (Psalm 5:3) with great anticipation. Would it be so bad if my children's children were the recipients of the blessing? No, not at all. I will count it a privilege to pray prayers that I may not see answered in my lifetime. My belly is turning with the thought of it. So, are you praying? Are you waiting? Are you glad about it? My heart is certainly changing...and I am THRILLED about it!
We were on our way to swim at a friend's house when I remembered seeing the children sitting in front of an open window and realized that I never shut the window and it was already 100 degrees out. So, I say, with no self-control, "You left that window open, didn't you?!?! Do you think that it's WISE to leave the window open when the air conditioner is on?" Do they really care? NO. I continued my rant, "Well, I cannot leave that window open while we are gone all day, so the consequence for YOU is that we are turning around and I'm closing it. That is going to make us even later for our swimming." I try to ignore the amount of gas that is going to be consumed, I think it was more of a consequence for me! I pulled in, slammed the window shut and thought, "I don't want my entire day to be like this." I went straight to our bottle of change and counted out enough money to buy the kids some Munchkins from Dunkin Donuts and for a Cappuccino Blast for me. I got into the car and said, "Guys, I have been lacking in self-control and I do not want our day to continue like this. Let's pray, and then we are going to restart." So, I prayed and we opened our eyes I said, "Good morning. Did everyone sleep well last night? Did you already have breakfast? Well, then let's go to Dunkin Donuts!" Restart.
So, on the way I found it to be an opportune time to discuss grace and mercy. I use donuts alot with this illustration because they are such a special treat that the kids understand grace. Grace: receiving that which we do not deserve. Mercy: not getting what we DO deserve. So, we talked about the Cross and how God poured out His wrath on Jesus (is that too much for pre-schoolers? Nah) so that we would not receive it, and how grace is the abundant life that we receive when we trust in Jesus' death and resurrection. By the end of this, Julia is ready to turn the radio back on, and it was about time to order.
"Yes, I would like 6 random Munchkins and a small Cappuccino Blast with whipped cream and cinnamon." She responds, as always, "Please pull forward for your total." Of course I pull up and sit. Now, I've been through there enough to know that a Blast takes a few minutes. While I was sitting there I thought, "Someone please notice that I'm sitting here." I started getting so annoyed that they were meandering around the store and no one came out to say, "Hey, thanks for coming, your Blast will be right out." They just ignored me. I thought, "I'm already late...come on already!" Please recall the conversation I JUST had with my children. You know what I felt like doing...honking. I felt like laying on the horn and being like, "Hurry it up already...I'm late as it is." Immediately I thought, "I wish I could honk on God." Does that make you giggle a little? It made me. It was such a perfect picture of where I am, most days, spiritually. I pray my little prayers and then I'm like, "HURRY IT UP, ALREADY! At least come to the window and recognize that I have placed my order!!!"
Yesterday at church Pastor Marty delivered a message that was meant for my heart. I've heard people say, "It was as if he was talking to me." I usually think, "That's nice." Yesterday my heart was so full it almost exploded right out of my chest. Marty spoke on praying bold prayers and being patient with the Lord. Believing that just because my Monday prayer isn't answered on Thursday doesn't mean that it won't be. I'm sure that the Israelites who were born and died in slavery thought that the God of Jacob had turned a deaf ear to their prayers for freedom. Fast forward to the group of Israelites who entered into the Promised Land. Those that tasted and enjoyed the milk and honey that flowed freely. They were the recipients of the faithful prayers that had gone before them. God was not neglecting them, He was doing it HIS way. Marty shared several scriptures from the New Testament that touched on how persistant prayers move God. I have to be honest, I'm not a prayer warrior, I'm a prayer quitter. I pray my prayers, look to the heavens with expectation and by lunch time I think, "Well, I guess that's not God's will." Was it God's will to deny the Promised Land? No, He was just working on His plan, not the plan of the people.
Mike and I have been praying big prayers and we feel like chickens. One of Marty's questions was, "Are you praying Big Prayers that will honor your Big God?" I have been spending too much time on prayers that are predictable and boring. I want to pray and wait (Psalm 5:3) with great anticipation. Would it be so bad if my children's children were the recipients of the blessing? No, not at all. I will count it a privilege to pray prayers that I may not see answered in my lifetime. My belly is turning with the thought of it. So, are you praying? Are you waiting? Are you glad about it? My heart is certainly changing...and I am THRILLED about it!
Friday, June 6, 2008
Fishin' lures and underwear
"Dad, I really do need a tackle box, cause I'm keepin' my fishin'finds in my underwear drawer!"
Tomorrow we are going to a fishing tournament at A.H. Stevens State Park. My husband (the type A, smart, planner type) was investigating how to catch a catfish and mentioned getting new bait. This is where Anson chimed in regarding his "fishin' finds." Now, I only have one son, so it's OK if I say he is my favorite son. His little voice was so precious when he remarked that his underwear drawer was where all of the treasures end up. You could hear it in his voice how ridiculous even he thought it was that his underwear drawer would be a safe place for that sort of thing. I agree, bobbers do not belong with Power Ranger underwear!!!
How silly that when I told him to put those "treasures" away that he would put them there. They don't belong there, they don't fit in there, but he had no other place to put them.
Several years ago I gave my summers to learning more about how to follow Jesus. I'll explain that quickly. I was involved with a campus ministry that had what was called a "Summer Beach Project" each summer. Most students would raise support, you lived in a hotel, worked for minimum wage and learned how to walk with God for 10 weeks in Daytona Beach, FL. How great does that sound??? I went twice and the lives of my children and their children will be better for it. So, on my first "SBP" we probably had the stankest room on project. I won't go into details, but it was rough. It was that summer that I memorized Matthew 6:19-21, just in case your Bible isn't handy here is what it says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Let's be clear...I do not think money is bad. In fact, I want to share what my Bible note says about these verses. On verse 19, "Riches are not condemned in and of themselves. What Jesus condemns here is greed and hoarding of money." A note on 20, "treasures in heaven: Anything done in this life that has eternal value. The phrase is equivalent of being rich toward God. In this context it probably refers to using one's material wealth for good causes." This is going in a direction I wasn't expecting...I'm nervous...
When I heard Anson say that, I just thought it was cute. As I recalled it on the way home (we were at Mom's house when he said it)I thought about where I keep my treasures. Mike and I were driving around looking at homes tonight and are trying to figure out what we should do about our home. We'd like to move, but want God's will. We would LOVE more space, but do not wish to be house poor, again. I do not believe that it is more "spiritual" to have little, I know many WONDERFUL people that do not have a little. The question is, where is our heart? Are my eyes fixed on what is seen, which is temporary, or on what is unseen which is eternal? It's all about my heart.
That summer it was sort of a joke that we were storing up treasures in heaven. I should research that a bit more, probably. We left our families for 10 weeks to do what??? I worked as a maid one year and I rang up quarter pounders the next. My desire was to learn how to love Jesus with every fiber of my being. I still fall short and I'm so thankful for His grace that sustains me. I didn't care what this world had, I was hungry for heaven.
We get full don't we? This may be deeper than I have gone before, or may go again, but this is a quote from John Piper's Hunger for God, "The greatest enemy of hunger for God is not poison but apple pie. It is not the banquet of the wicked that dulls our appetite for heaven, but endless nibbling at the table of the world. It is not the X-rated video, but the prime-time dribble of triviality we drink in every night. For all the ill that Satan can do, when God describes what keeps us from the banquet table of his love, it is a piece of land, a yoke of oxen, and a wife (Luke 14.18-20). The greatest adversary of love to God is not his enemies but his gifts. And the most deadly appetites are not for the poison of evil, but for the simple pleasures of earth. For when these replace an appetite for God himself, the idolatry is scarcely recognizable and almost incurable.”
How humbling and convicting are those words? I must not love anything more than knowing God. I do...I check blogs, e-mail, Good Morning America, call my sister, arrange playdates, the list goes on and on. Where am I storing up my treasures? Am I putting Christ first? Even now I feel as I should shut this off and down and meditate on His Word until He returns! It's where I spend my time, my energy, my gifts...not only my money. Where am I investing? Are my treasures in my underwear drawer? Am I scrounging around finding someone's left over fishin' finds and stashing them in my underwear drawer? OR am I struggling feverishly to know the God of the heavens and serve Him with my entire being? Am I being all that He has created me to be? My stomach is turning at that question. What if the answer is "no." Am I looking toward heaven with great expectation or finding this earth has everything I'll ever need?
I do want a bigger house, I want to take nice vacations and visit one of my favorite families in Germany. I want my children to look cute in our Christmas pictures and I want someone to make my yard look nice so that my father-in-law can just visit. I do want stuff, and I think denying God's gifts is just as bad as misusing them! Here is what I'm saying, I want to take my treasures out of my underwear drawer and put them in the tackle box where they belong. I want heaven to be my safe keeping place. Why wouldn't I keep my treasures where they are safest? Ya know?
Tomorrow we are going to a fishing tournament at A.H. Stevens State Park. My husband (the type A, smart, planner type) was investigating how to catch a catfish and mentioned getting new bait. This is where Anson chimed in regarding his "fishin' finds." Now, I only have one son, so it's OK if I say he is my favorite son. His little voice was so precious when he remarked that his underwear drawer was where all of the treasures end up. You could hear it in his voice how ridiculous even he thought it was that his underwear drawer would be a safe place for that sort of thing. I agree, bobbers do not belong with Power Ranger underwear!!!
How silly that when I told him to put those "treasures" away that he would put them there. They don't belong there, they don't fit in there, but he had no other place to put them.
Several years ago I gave my summers to learning more about how to follow Jesus. I'll explain that quickly. I was involved with a campus ministry that had what was called a "Summer Beach Project" each summer. Most students would raise support, you lived in a hotel, worked for minimum wage and learned how to walk with God for 10 weeks in Daytona Beach, FL. How great does that sound??? I went twice and the lives of my children and their children will be better for it. So, on my first "SBP" we probably had the stankest room on project. I won't go into details, but it was rough. It was that summer that I memorized Matthew 6:19-21, just in case your Bible isn't handy here is what it says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Let's be clear...I do not think money is bad. In fact, I want to share what my Bible note says about these verses. On verse 19, "Riches are not condemned in and of themselves. What Jesus condemns here is greed and hoarding of money." A note on 20, "treasures in heaven: Anything done in this life that has eternal value. The phrase is equivalent of being rich toward God. In this context it probably refers to using one's material wealth for good causes." This is going in a direction I wasn't expecting...I'm nervous...
When I heard Anson say that, I just thought it was cute. As I recalled it on the way home (we were at Mom's house when he said it)I thought about where I keep my treasures. Mike and I were driving around looking at homes tonight and are trying to figure out what we should do about our home. We'd like to move, but want God's will. We would LOVE more space, but do not wish to be house poor, again. I do not believe that it is more "spiritual" to have little, I know many WONDERFUL people that do not have a little. The question is, where is our heart? Are my eyes fixed on what is seen, which is temporary, or on what is unseen which is eternal? It's all about my heart.
That summer it was sort of a joke that we were storing up treasures in heaven. I should research that a bit more, probably. We left our families for 10 weeks to do what??? I worked as a maid one year and I rang up quarter pounders the next. My desire was to learn how to love Jesus with every fiber of my being. I still fall short and I'm so thankful for His grace that sustains me. I didn't care what this world had, I was hungry for heaven.
We get full don't we? This may be deeper than I have gone before, or may go again, but this is a quote from John Piper's Hunger for God, "The greatest enemy of hunger for God is not poison but apple pie. It is not the banquet of the wicked that dulls our appetite for heaven, but endless nibbling at the table of the world. It is not the X-rated video, but the prime-time dribble of triviality we drink in every night. For all the ill that Satan can do, when God describes what keeps us from the banquet table of his love, it is a piece of land, a yoke of oxen, and a wife (Luke 14.18-20). The greatest adversary of love to God is not his enemies but his gifts. And the most deadly appetites are not for the poison of evil, but for the simple pleasures of earth. For when these replace an appetite for God himself, the idolatry is scarcely recognizable and almost incurable.”
How humbling and convicting are those words? I must not love anything more than knowing God. I do...I check blogs, e-mail, Good Morning America, call my sister, arrange playdates, the list goes on and on. Where am I storing up my treasures? Am I putting Christ first? Even now I feel as I should shut this off and down and meditate on His Word until He returns! It's where I spend my time, my energy, my gifts...not only my money. Where am I investing? Are my treasures in my underwear drawer? Am I scrounging around finding someone's left over fishin' finds and stashing them in my underwear drawer? OR am I struggling feverishly to know the God of the heavens and serve Him with my entire being? Am I being all that He has created me to be? My stomach is turning at that question. What if the answer is "no." Am I looking toward heaven with great expectation or finding this earth has everything I'll ever need?
I do want a bigger house, I want to take nice vacations and visit one of my favorite families in Germany. I want my children to look cute in our Christmas pictures and I want someone to make my yard look nice so that my father-in-law can just visit. I do want stuff, and I think denying God's gifts is just as bad as misusing them! Here is what I'm saying, I want to take my treasures out of my underwear drawer and put them in the tackle box where they belong. I want heaven to be my safe keeping place. Why wouldn't I keep my treasures where they are safest? Ya know?
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Home again, Home again...
I almost wrote this at 11:00 last night, but I resisted the temptation...Alex is HOME!!! We are very thankful that she is home. She is, however, still in a great amount of pain. In fact, she came home with a walker and a bedside potty...she is unable to use the walker as her strength is still not back. Please pray that my Mom and step-Dad will be refreshed and strengthened as they care for her, and that all of the siblings would know what part we play in her recovery. I cannot express enough how your prayers and kind words fueled us during this time. I pray that when a storm cloud covers you, I will be as helpful and as faithful as you all. I will be posting a little something soon...thanks for checking in and staying with me. Have a super day, after all, this IS the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!
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