Monday, August 31, 2009

Not So Cool

Do you ever feel uncool? Like everyone in the world is cooler than you? More popular
than you? Being used by God in ways that you would NEVER be used? I need to get in the Word. I'll tell you what. How long, Oh, Lord, will I be in the 6th grade? How long will I long for You to mold me into something that I am not? How long will I look on with envy that you have gifted others in ways that You have not gifted me. How long will I be sad that I don't sew, or monogram things...or want to? How long? How long will I want to spend time with people that I don't have anything in common with? How long will I scoff at the life and talents and mercies you have so freely poured out on me? How long? Until I spend time with You, You say. Until I value Your Word more than I value 20 minutes of extra sleep? Until I seek Your will alone, rather than my own. Then, You say, and ONLY then will I be satisfied. Then, and only then, will I look at where the boundary lines have fallen and declare them to be so perfect. Oh, Father, won't you captivate my heart again. Won't You please satisfy me in the morning with Your unfailing love. I'm not all that...but to Christ...ahh...but because of Christ...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A bunch of nobodies...

After reading Darlene Deibler Rose's book, Evidence Not Seen, I've started another challenging book. Many of you have probably already been challenged by it, Shadow of the Almighty: The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot. Many of you have probably heard his words, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." I read something today that I loved even more than that.
I tend to glorify the call that missionaries have on their lives. (I know we are all missionaries, I mean the ones that raise support and hit the trail...) He said, after some time in Mexico, which he loved, "Missionaries are very human folks, just doing what they are asked. Simply a bunch of nobodies trying to exalt Somebody." I was thankful for those words. I'm pretty much a nobody and pretty human at that! Apparently I still make the cut for those that are capable of exalting Somebody...The Somebody...Praise Him that He would choose to use us even in fallen condition.
My little sister said that she didn't read biographies because they would make her feel like she's not good enough. I'm sure she's not alone in that. In reading biographies of those who have gone before me, endured opposition and even surrendered their very life for the cause of Christ, it fires me up. It refines my vision for what God is doing in my life and the life of those around me. It makes me long for Him the way these "human folks doing what they are asked" longed for Him. I was almost jealous of the intimacy Darlene Rose had with the Father and Jim Elliot's conviction and determination to know God and preach Him to those who have NEVER heard has revealed how little about the lost.
So, that's where I am right now. Realizing I'm a mess...and Jesus knew it when He laid down His life. Wow.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

A Cup of Reality.

So, sometimes when you don't hear from me, it's because I am not an anonymous blogger. Sometimes I would love to blog about something...but it would not always be the best thing. That's all I'll say about that.

Also, we've been checked out. We went on what I called the Team Wessner Summer Tour where we saw lots of our favorite faces and hugged lots of necks. It was a ton of fun, but after our two weeks were up, we came home for a few days and then headed to Tennessee for a few days with family for a suprise party. It felt I had a "layover" at home. I'm thankful for the time away and thankful to be home. I've already started the laundry so tomorrow all we have to do is fold it. So, there have been several "blog-worthy" moments, but I must share about the book I just finished. It was a cup of cold water and a cup of reality.

Several years ago during a Christmas Conference I heard a woman by the name of Darlene Rose share her story. (Do any of my college gals remember this??? I don't think any of us could forget it.) Darlene was a young missionary to New Guinea just before WWII broke out. Her husband was taken by the Japanese soldiers and she never saw him again. What I remember most is that she was a much older lady when she spoke with us and she still wept over her loss as though she had just received the news. She was a POW for 4 years plus a few months and she wrote her story in a book called, "Evidence Not Seen." Like any good young Christian I bought the book with every intention of reading it. This was probably at LEAST 10 years ago. I wanted to buy some new books, but decided on reading some of the books that are on my shelf first and started with this one. I'm so thankful I did.

I haven't read several biographies of heroes of our faith, but I have read a few. Do you? Reading the stories, especially this one, causes me to desire Christ more. It challenges me to fix my eyes on Christ. Is He really worthy of my life? Could I really suffer for Him? Why? While reading this book I was almost jealous of the intimacy that this young woman had with our Lord. Her ears were so attentive to His voice and her heart was so tender to His commands. She told Him she would go anywhere and she did. When she thought she couldn't take any more confinement or suffer through the devastation of one more loss, she laid herself at the feet of her Lord and submitted with GREAT JOY to His leadership and love. Unbelieveable. I want to know her Savior...who is also my Savior. Her husband's life was used in a mighty way as was hers. She labored selflessly even in her POW camp believing that God was with her and HAD ORDAINED it. Challenging to say the least.

So, there are things in my head that I would like to write about, but I would like to encourage those of you who are up for a little challenge to pull a book off of your shelf. Snuggle up with Jesus and meet some of the people who have laid their lives down for His Glory and Kingdom. I'll tell you what, not a whole lot seems all that important afterwards. So, if you've read a great book that has impacted your faith, will you tell me so that I may be mutally encouraged by the lives of the saints? Thank you...