Wednesday, March 25, 2009


"Do not fear, you worm Jacob, you men of Israel; I will help you," declares the LORD, "and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel. Isaiah 41:14

"But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men and despised by the people." Psalm 22:6

"Rachel, are you sure these aren't going to crawl out and get into my van?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Worms don't like the light, they crawl down into the dirt to get away from it. See, you can't even see them anymore. You'll be fine."

So, today, I read two chapters of Farmer Boy, one chapter of David Livingstone, did a spelling lesson, a language lesson, made lunch and picked up some worms. Yup, worms. The Wessner's are goin' green! Mike and I have two gardens and we wanted to compost. To be honest, I'm more excited about composting than the gardens because I really have come to despise throwing away food. (I don't know how many times my children have heard me say, "Eat up. Daddy and I have seen the starving children of Africa!) In fact, I was taking our food out to the "dump tree" just because I felt like maybe the deer could eat it and it wouldn't be wasted. So, we (I mean Mike) researched composters and the pros and cons of all of the models and we settled on worms. I actually like the idea because I think the kids will learn alot and I understand that worm "castings" make the best soil. So, worms it is! The composter came yesterday and so I went and picked up the worms today.

My dear friend dug them for me. She's way more like Caroline Ingalls than I am. (Oh how I long to be Caroline!) I do not like my hands to be dirty. I don't even like to handle frozen blueberries for long because it makes my nails look bad. Vain. I know. I don't like slugs, snails, worms, snakes, centipedes...I could go on. My point is this...I'm stretching.

Please remember that I have 4 children on a daily basis. They were all in the van while I was getting the worms. Some of them had escaped their seats and were moving freely about the cabin, while one stuck one was screaming, "I want out!" So, I got everyone buckled in and the words that kept repeating in my head, besides, "Ali, you are doing so good. DO NOT STOP FOR A CAPPUCINO BLAST AND MUNCHKINS. No temptation has seized temptation has seized you..." were Rachel's words, "Worms don't like the light. They crawl away from it." I vaguely remembered David's words in the Psalms when he compares himself to a worm. While looking for that verse I found the verse in Isaiah where God uses the word to describe the men of Israel. He uses this word, according to my study note, as a reference to their feeble and despised condition in exile.

Romans 3:10:11 states, "As it is written, 'There is no one righteous, not even one, there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.'" It goes on with more good news about our wretched condition, but I'd like to use 1 John 1:5 to remind us what God is, "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all."

When I put these two verses together I can only rejoice that because I don't seek Him, because I am prone to crawl away from Light...He brought the Light to me.

"When Jesus spoke to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'" John 8:12

So, that's what I'd like to do. Take the Light to those who are prone, as I am, to crawl away from it. Doing this with the sincere hope that they will also, as I have, have the "Light of life."

Friday, March 13, 2009


It's been a regular puke-fest around here lately. So far my boy has been immune, but my girls have been up and down. It's been so frustrating! Thankfully we aren't due to go anywhere or have any company until the first weekend of April, so I guess I should be thankful. My 2 year old knows when she is going to be sick, and more importantly WHERE to get sick. My 4 year old just sort of, well, bursts...wherever she is. So, what I've been doing is spot mopping the floors. You know what that revealed to floors are NASTY! Yesterday I was cleaning up after Julia and my friend was super dear friend that isn't afraid of vomit...and I looked at her and said, "Do you know how very disgusting your carpet is?" I know, words of encouragement...a gift of the Spirit to be sure! Seriously, when I see what gets ground into my wood floors I can only imagine what our past homes with all carpet were like. YUCK!

Tonight I got couched by Ella and Mike took the older kids to dinner at the home of some friends. Ella went to bed early and I decided that I would do a little bit of cleaning. The problem...

Once you start to clean, without people distracting you from the filth, you see the filth. My kitchen floor was/is raunchy. I was on my hands and knees trying to get it clean. My little rag just kept showing my handprint in dirt. Then, if that isn't enough, when you are up close and personal with your floor like that, you get up close and personal with your baseboards, your cabinets, under the fridge, before you know it you are ready to call those English ladies to tell you how third-world your house has become! How did it get so out of control???

As I swept my floor I could feel the difference between where the rug was and was not. I just said, out loud, "It's O.K. You can clean it." You know what other word came to mind? Repent.

Have you ever gotten a really good look at your heart? I should use the actual word. Have you ever gotten a good look at your depravity? Thankfully because God is merciful, He doesn't show us everything at once, but lately I have felt a little more up close and personal with what is really going on in my heart. I start looking at a few things and as I'm exposing myself to God and His Word, I see more and more. I could become really depressed. I think we all could. Even as I was cleaning my floors I was thinking, "Is this even cleaning the floor? Or is it simply leaving a soapy residue that is going to make it worse?"

I can get like that when dealing with God. I'm like, "O.K. what can I do? What is going to fix this? What will clean me up and make me better? Perhaps I should call a friend and see what they use." The answer...Jesus.

Our most righteous acts are like filthy rags. I am not capable of cleaning up my heart. Just like I didn't remove the heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. Just like my floor will never be spotless...unless they are brand new.

I am, in Christ, brand new. I can see my heart and not become overwhelmed because I plead Christ. Looking at my heart only makes me love Him more. It only makes me more aware of my need. It makes me so thankful that I have a Savior that does not change. Yesterday, today and forever...He is the same.

So, are your floors nasty? Well, scrub them. Is your heart nasty? Well, repent...then walk in the freedom that Christ affords...and think of your mansion that Jesus is preparing for you. We will be able to walk on our floors for eternity without feeling crumbs. We can handle it for a little while, I think. Let it remind us of our need for Jesus, and His unending love for us.

Friday, March 6, 2009


Let me start by saying, I think if I were Jacob I would have cried "Uncle!" when wrestling with God. I feel like as life gets harder I just get weaker. I suppose that could be exactly how it's meant to be. Last week one of my journal entries read, in all caps, "LORD, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME???" The response, "Yes, yes I am." There is still way too much of my own agenda on the line and I do have some more dying to do in order to be more like Christ. He is good, and I'm sure He's going easy on me, but I have been struggling. To the post...

Roughly a year ago (maybe a year and a half) I was invited to a clothing party. Let me preface this by saying I am alot of fun at a party...or so I've been told. I usually break the ice, and keep things moving. I enjoy a party. I will not, however, be the big spender. I usually go with one thing in mind and I leave with that one thing. For instance, I went to a cookware party a few months ago. I needed a bar pan (remember I broke mine to pieces) and a mixing bowl (I threw my other one on the floor in a fit of rage...seriously...and I LIKED IT! it was plastic) I left with those two things and a safety knife for kids. I'm just not the one you REALLY want at your party. So, at this party we were trying on clothes. It was fun, I had lost a little bit of weight and this one skirt felt phenomenal! I could spin in it, and it was a size smaller than I usually wear. I loved it. I did not go to the party with this skirt in mind. In fact, I knew I wasn't going to buy anything. I just couldn't. I did, however, LOVE the skirt.

Time passed. I stayed home from church one Wednesday night with a sick child and when Mike came home he dropped a plastic garment bag in my lap. "What's this?" I asked with a smile. I thought maybe I had loaned someone something and they returned it in this particular bag. "Tandy gave it to me, she said it was yours." I had no idea what he was talking about. "What? What is it?" I pulled the plastic up and would you believe it was that skirt!!! "WHERE DID THIS COME FROM??? DID YOU BUY THIS FOR ME???" No, ladies, he did not...I know, that would have been sweet...I think it's even better. I called Tandy and she said that another woman purchased the skirt for me. WHAT??? I immediately called the other woman to thank her...not to try to give it back!

Do you know what her response was, "Well, I had saved my money, and there wasn't anything that I felt as good in as you did in that skirt. Watching you spin around and look so nice, I just wanted you to have it." Yes, that's the truth. She just saw how much I enjoyed it and wanted me to have it. It wasn't cheap. She had saved her money to buy something for herself, and instead purchased something for me. So, I hung it in my closet and never wear it, for fear that I will ruin it.

Wouldn't that be a waste? Her money would be so wasted if I never pulled that skirt off the hanger. The reason she bought it was because I enjoyed being in it! I didn't hang it up and gaze at it and talk about it at the party. I tried it on. I spun around. I talked about how perfect it would be with a pretty sweater and some nice brown boots. "It's so versatile! You can wear it with everything!" She bought it because she knew I would love it, I would wear it...I'm sure she would be happy to see it worn out in my closet. That would be money well spent. A gift that was used, enjoyed, worn out and loved.

What have you got hanging in your closet? What gifts have you been given that you don't really want to get messed up? Maybe you are afraid you'll get a hole in them, or you can't find anything to wear with them. Maybe the gift that is hanging in your closet is your salvation. Maybe you have invited Christ to be Lord of your life, and you have the gift of salvation...of Life EVERLASTING and there it hangs. Pretty as a picture. Maybe you go in and look at it, you stroke it, try it on every now and then...and put it back, afraid to enjoy it because you don't want to get it dirty, you don't want Christ to look bad.

It would devastate my sweet friend if I never wore that skirt. She didn't want a thank you note, I'm not indebted to her forever because she spent her hard earned money on me. Her only request was that I ENJOY the skirt.

Christ left heaven. He put on flesh. He walked with us. He laughed with us. He cried with us and for us...then He died for us. His life for ours, not an even trade. He was the only one that could restore us with God. "The wages of sin is death, but the GIFT of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23 We didn't ask for it, we didn't save for it, we didn't die for it. The least we can do is enjoy it.

What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

Let's not work our fingers to the bone trying to repay. As we enjoy God, everything, and I do mean everything will fall into place.

Honestly, I have struggled to enjoy Him. I've struggled to enjoy anything these days. I know that I will only enjoy Him if I am spending time with Him. I think I'll go do that now. Spin around, ladies...enjoy that gift...we thank Him, by enjoying Him.