It's been a regular puke-fest around here lately. So far my boy has been immune, but my girls have been up and down. It's been so frustrating! Thankfully we aren't due to go anywhere or have any company until the first weekend of April, so I guess I should be thankful. My 2 year old knows when she is going to be sick, and more importantly WHERE to get sick. My 4 year old just sort of, well, bursts...wherever she is. So, what I've been doing is spot mopping the floors. You know what that revealed to me...my floors are NASTY! Yesterday I was cleaning up after Julia and my friend was over...my super dear friend that isn't afraid of vomit...and I looked at her and said, "Do you know how very disgusting your carpet is?" I know, words of encouragement...a gift of the Spirit to be sure! Seriously, when I see what gets ground into my wood floors I can only imagine what our past homes with all carpet were like. YUCK!
Tonight I got couched by Ella and Mike took the older kids to dinner at the home of some friends. Ella went to bed early and I decided that I would do a little bit of cleaning. The problem...
Once you start to clean, without people distracting you from the filth, you see the filth. My kitchen floor was/is raunchy. I was on my hands and knees trying to get it clean. My little rag just kept showing my handprint in dirt. Then, if that isn't enough, when you are up close and personal with your floor like that, you get up close and personal with your baseboards, your cabinets, under the fridge, before you know it you are ready to call those English ladies to tell you how third-world your house has become! How did it get so out of control???
As I swept my floor I could feel the difference between where the rug was and was not. I just said, out loud, "It's O.K. You can clean it." You know what other word came to mind? Repent.
Have you ever gotten a really good look at your heart? I should use the actual word. Have you ever gotten a good look at your depravity? Thankfully because God is merciful, He doesn't show us everything at once, but lately I have felt a little more up close and personal with what is really going on in my heart. I start looking at a few things and as I'm exposing myself to God and His Word, I see more and more. I could become really depressed. I think we all could. Even as I was cleaning my floors I was thinking, "Is this even cleaning the floor? Or is it simply leaving a soapy residue that is going to make it worse?"
I can get like that when dealing with God. I'm like, "O.K. what can I do? What is going to fix this? What will clean me up and make me better? Perhaps I should call a friend and see what they use." The answer...Jesus.
Our most righteous acts are like filthy rags. I am not capable of cleaning up my heart. Just like I didn't remove the heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. Just like my floor will never be spotless...unless they are brand new.
I am, in Christ, brand new. I can see my heart and not become overwhelmed because I plead Christ. Looking at my heart only makes me love Him more. It only makes me more aware of my need. It makes me so thankful that I have a Savior that does not change. Yesterday, today and forever...He is the same.
So, are your floors nasty? Well, scrub them. Is your heart nasty? Well, repent...then walk in the freedom that Christ affords...and think of your mansion that Jesus is preparing for you. We will be able to walk on our floors for eternity without feeling crumbs. We can handle it for a little while, I think. Let it remind us of our need for Jesus, and His unending love for us.