Thursday, February 20, 2014


You know what is so very interesting about sitting in the dark?  The sin of your heart is brought to light.  It's a disgusting and glorious thing that God does when he allows us to see those things that don't really resemble the likeness of Jesus Christ.  Then you get to kneel with the family of followers and speak those words that are only possible because of His Spirit.  Standing, then, in the full confidence of forgiveness, we continue to press on.  Then we practice everyday, the confessing, the standing…the falling…again.  I am so very grateful for His words that penetrate my very being.  Always reminding, always reclaiming, always refreshing even when it's dark.  Thankful for the power that turns my lights on and the power that keeps my heart soft.

We memorize a lot of things.  We memorize timelines and history sentences, parts of speech and math facts.  We store large quantities of God's Word and don't watch a ton of TV.  We read good books and say our prayers.  But you know, there is another part of me.  Part of me that I want my children to know.  There is a part that loves old country music and old 80's movies.  A part that craves warm air and saltwater.  Really, a part that is unearthed when my toes are buried in sand.  There is more to me.  I want my children to have good habits.  I want them to be real live people that laugh at jokes and love others.  So, today,  Anson and I discussed George Strait and how "the man" could possibly choose Cheyenne over his lady.  How songs that tell stories are my favorite and George Strait tells a good story.  This Friday night when Mike takes our little ladies to the Butterfly Ball, we'll pop popcorn and I'll finally share my favorite movie…the Goonies.  I may or may not make a big deal out of the little bit of language because Anson loves adventure and I think One Eyed Willie will be a favorite of his like he is mine.  Tonight after they shopped for dresses with me, I explored their fort and "Adventure Corner" in the woods.   Trees littering their "paths" and the sun setting too quickly, we crunched through the woods…them showing me.  See, that's what I'm finding this is, this parenting gig.  I show them, and then if I'm lucky…they'll want to show me.  They'll want to take me by the hand and show me their world…their world with forts and makeshift kitchens and adventure literally waiting at the corner.  I must, MUST, allow them to take my hand.  And I must MUST let them know that there is more to me than IEW and the next First Language Lesson.  I'm enjoying it and I cannot wait to introduce Anson to the Fertelli's!!!!

Also, as I finished up a book titled, The Strong Willed Wife, I have some thoughts that I probably shouldn't put on the internet just yet, but suffice it to say, our culture is wrong about a lot of things.  Even in our sweet Holy huddles, we've got some things backwards.  So, I'm excited to have my heart searched out by the One who made me, and look forward to becoming more and more the person He meant me to be.

Currently I'm getting to know an amazing man named Booker T. Washington.  I am seeing how little I valued, or appreciated my education (especially my college education that was funded by my Dad…I didn't pay a dime).  I want to pass that on to my own children.  People worked HARD to afford their education.  Many risked their lives prior to the Civil War to teach or be taught and post war people would do WHATEVER they had to in order to get to school.  My kids struggle to get to the TABLE after a full night of sleep.  At one point, Booker worked from 4 am-9 am and was allowed to go to school at 9:00 (when school started) but since he had to walk a mile and he got of work at 9, he snuck and turned the clock back. Then, when school was over he had to work for another 2 hours! And…he was no more than 12!  Is this the passion that we have?  Um.  No.  How could we? We have no idea what it is to be illiterate.  At least some of us.  So, education is on my mind.

I suppose that's all. It was a resolution to write, so I am.  It was also a resolution to get to bed on time, so I am going to wrap this up.  I do hope you are enjoying the very place the Lord has you…enjoying Him…and all of the people He has given you!  Thank you for stopping by!