Friday, July 10, 2009

Souvenirs of brokenness

Kids break. If you haven't had one break on you yet, just give them time. Ella was our first break. Roughly 4 weeks ago she got a little baby cast on her teeny little arm. She fell. I'm not sure if she was falling getting back into her bed, or getting out of it...she was supposed to be in it, however it happened, it broke. Actually it didn't break, it buckled, and she needed a cast. Today the cast was removed and an interesting conversation occurred that struck me. I'll try to make it fast, I should be cleaning a bathroom...

"Hey, now we can play broken arm." That was the response when the nurse told Ella she could keep her cast. They cut it in two places, so she simply wrapped a bit of tape around it, so you could put it back on. The kids thought that was so much fun and told Ella that she could put it back on if she wanted. I laughed with them and said, "Now, why would she need that? Her arm isn't broken anymore?"

Neither are we. Jesus Christ paid the price. There is healing in His blood. How many of us walk around with our cast "just in case." We remember we were broken. We remember how it felt. We remember that it hurt and then we got a cast and we couldn't feel the pain anymore. I am not broken. Yet I keep my souvenirs around. I can show them to others or even pull them out privately and relive the brokenness. Foolish. It's foolish. Would you think I was funny if I kept that cast on Ella even though her arm is healed? No. Would you think maybe I was smart because I was being proactive? No. You would (hopefully) tell me I was a crazy woman.

I think of several instances where Jesus healed someone and said, "Go, your faith has made you well." He told the man at the pool of Bethesda (John 5) "Pick up your mat and walk." If you do a word search on "healed" their are a number of verses that will come up. Jesus is about healing. Not remaining broken.

Read Isaiah's words, "Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities, the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

He was broken. We were healed. You don't need the cast if you are in Christ. You aren't broken. You are at peace with God through Jesus Christ. You are friends. There is healing in Him. Sometimes it's good to remember the brokenness. It serves as a gentle reminder of His grace. I would, however, like to focus a bit more on the healing.

1 Peter 2:24, "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed."

Get rid of the cast. You have been made well.

Two funny stories of the cast.
1. When my sister was here Ella fell and my little nephew said, "Ella, you are lucky you have that cast on when you fell or you could have broken your arm." HA!

2. The other day Anson said, "Ella, one good thing about having a cast on your arm is when bugs are around you can just wham em' with your cast!" Nothing like bug guts on an already dirty cast!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I Know Him, but I Can't Trust Him

Ella has been responding in a rather irritating manner these days to loud noises. She covers her ears and repeats, "It's woud." We're trying to be patient, but it can be inconvenient.

Tonight we were coming home from church in a thunderstorm. It wasn't bad, but there was lightening and a little bit of thunder. She walked inside covering her ears and was still noticeably nervous once inside. I knelt down in front of her and looked into her sweet little face and said, "Ella, who makes the thunder?" To which she responded in a confident whisper, "Jesus." So I replied, "So, can we trust it?" She immediately said, "NO."

Isn't that the truth. Eventhough we know the author and perfector of our faith, we don't believe that we can trust anything He does.

God help me to trust You, and You alone.

Friday, July 3, 2009


It drives me crazy when people don't update their blog. I mean, it really frustrates me! I love to know what my "url" friends are up to. What they are learning, teaching, growing...whatever. I suppose I understand why blogs aren't updated on the hour. Life happens first.

I have decided that Father's Day is one of my least favorite holidays. Please read the rest of this before you unsubscribe or write me off...Mike is a fabulous Dad. He really is. I love watching him learn and grow and try and fail and try again. He always knocks it out of the park on Mother's Day. This year I had a yummy breakfast in bed. (He went to two drive thrus because where he got my biscuit doesn't serve Coke and he knows I can't/won't eat a biscuit without a Coke) he got me a super coupon for a pedicure and Vera Bradley pants. I didn't even know they made Vera Bradley pants! I felt like a special woman. Then came Father's Day. First of all I love Mike's help. So, to give him a special day off annoys me because more and more we are becoming quite the team. I need him. Then there is the whole gift hangup. I love to give. I love to pick up fun little things and give them to my friends as little surprises. When it comes to Mike I just fizzle out like a really disappointing firework. No pop, no flare, just a little squeak and then smoke. He loves golf, fishing, gardening, and lots of other things and I just struggle choosing anything. The truth is that I don't know enough about his hobbies to know what would be a special gift. I'm having a hard time remembering what we got him...Oh, two new games. Scrabble Apple and Bing-OH. Lame-Oh. I know-Oh.

Because of my poor planning and my lame gifts I was angry all day long that I didn't do enough to really express how valuable he is to this house. When he isn't with us there is an enormous hole. If he isn't eating dinner...we eat cereal! So, all day I just wanted it to be over because I was so embarassed that I was so bad at expressing how vital he is to me.

Jesus. Mike's love reminds me of Jesus' love and I get frustrated that I stink at showing Jesus my gratitude as well. I think of all of these great things that I could do for Him and then puff, sqeak, smoke...I'm sleeping in and missing opportunities to love Him.

The best thing I could do for Mike is to be with him. To enjoy his company and to build him up in front of my family for the great guy that he is. In the same way that's what I can do to express my love for my Savior. I can enjoy Him. I can build Him up with my praise in front of the watching world so they will all know Him for the great Savior that He is.

So, I still don't love Father's Day, but I sure do love Jesus for giving me my Mike.

A quick Blogella:
Mike is becoming quite the gardener. He visits his garden in the morning and in the evening. He loves those plants. He waters them, he prunes them, he cuts vine borers out of them. I am seeing how neat he is while he gets to know his plants. I've been watching and I've been learning. Here are just a few things:
1. Pests are killing his vegetables. He does everything right but he cannot keep the bugs from doing their thing. He is vigilant in checking the vines, shaking the leaves, reading up on how to rid the garden of the pests. In my life it's the pests. It's the little seemingly insignificant things that wreck my crop. It's 30 minutes here, a little gossip there, before you know it I'm under attack. We must be aggressive with dealing with the pests. God help me!

2. You reap what you sow. We planted cantelope and there is a little baby cantelope on the vine. We planted tomatoes and we've been enjoying tomatoes. We've enjoyed the squash and tonight we had one of our sweet peppers. No surprises. What we planted is what came up. In the lives of my children what am I planting? Heck, in my own life what am I planting? Is it righteousness? Am I planting seeds of forgivness and grace or impatience and hatred? There are no surprises. You reap what you sow.

3. It is good to enjoy the crop. It is so pleasing to serve someone a tomato and cucumber salad and say, "Yup, those are from our garden." To be children are from my garden. God has given us what we need to nurture them and cultivate the soil of their hearts. We cannot make them believers, but we can be sure to check them for pests (literally we check for ticks 'round these parts)and be sure that nothing is working it's way into their hearts that could steal and kill and destroy. I believe I can enjoy my children. I do now and I plan on it later. We'll do whatever we can as the earthly gardener and we'll trust God for the rain to make them grow.

I think that's all for now...Oh more...Margie told me this would be a good story for my blog...
Last week was VBS. My sister was also in town so it was a busy week. When my boy gets tired he gets weepy. One particular day a child took something that belonged to Anson and he felt rightfully wronged. Or wronged with good reason...anyway...he was mad. I had another copy of what was taken from him, but he wouldn't have it. He was fired up that someone had taken something that belonged to him. I couldn't calm him down, but he finally pulled it together long enough to tell his friend Daniel about the incident. I watched him across the room explain what had happened and then watched as he listened intently to Daniel's response. Later that day I remembered to ask what Daniel had said and this was his response, "He just told me that I need to be the opposite of what I was." I thought that was precious. Daniel didn't respond with hatred or anger, he looked at Anson's his heart. When I shared that with Margie she said, "That's what I say to Jesus! Just make me the opposite of what I am right now." Praise Him that is EXACTLY what He does. I am so thankful that I am not the same as when He made me the opposite.

Last thing. Last night was the Graham/Wessner swap. Kelli and I swap one child and we each still have 3 kids. I got her daughter and she got my son. It is such fun getting time with them. This morning the girls were playing and I went in to check on them and sweet little Haviland said, "I was just telling Ella about Jesus in case she didn't know." Does that challenge you like it does me? Who have I mentioned Jesus to "just in case." God help me.

That's about all. I just wanted to update my blog...thank you for reading and hopefully enjoying what is here.