Torn.

I was beginning Phonics when the teacher across the hall stepped in, "The World Trade Center has been hit." Wow, that's some horrible accident. What could that mean? A few minutes later, "They are suspecting that we are under a terrorist attack." I saw a bit of the footage and immediately headed over to the computer to find out how close my Dad was to the Towers. Everyone was scattering. Looking. Searching. Making sure that those close to them were no where near the attack. Unfortunately not all were far enough and unfortunately the attack was on their family directly, not only our Nation.

Dad was fine in the train station, although he was stuck there for a few days because they closed the tunnels. Whew. I was so very thankful.

9/11. We don't even call it September. We all know what 9/11 we're referring to, don't we. It's the 9/11 the day that our soil was invaded. It's also Mike's birthday. Every year I hardly know what to do. That year was tough because we wanted to go to dinner, but we felt torn. Dare we celebrate when the lives of thousands have been buried under debris. Dare we celebrate when men risked their lives to hijack the plane back in order to spare the lives of those fortunate enough to be on the ground? Do we dare hold our loved ones close when there is an empty side on so many beds? I never know what to do.

I do celebrate Mike. He is here and he is mine. This morning, however, my emotions caught me off guard. I don't know if it was hearing George Bush, (on the radio) or the cries for help and mercy or what, but it hit me that we are at war and have been for 8 years. I sleep sound every night. I homeschool my children and kiss my husband when he comes home from work. I buy ice-cream for no reason and waste food. I act like we're free cause we wanna be. You know what is bizarre? My Step-Father missed Julia's birth because he was in Iraq. His body will never be the same and I'm sure there are secrets that are tucked away that torment him. My brother-in-law is a Purple Hearted, Combat Wounded Veteran at the ripe old age of 24. I know there is a war and while they were there I knew it. I prayed for it. But, our table is full again. God let me remember that some folks have empty seats. Some babies will only ever see a picture of the one they would call Daddy. Heaven help me!

I think about the phone calls that the media reported. People calling from airplanes and buildings engulfed in flames. I don't remember one person saying, "Hey honey, tell me...how much money do we have in savings? Do you think my boss thinks I'm good?" Not one. They were desperate attempts to tell the people that they loved the most that they loved them and that they were loved in return. In the end, that's all there is. We got mad because the people we love were hurt, or worse, killed. We got mad because this is supposed to be a safe place.

You know what I try to do? To honor those who lost their lives? I wish I were a better Patriot, but I keep short accounts. Try to anyway. I snuggle with my husband and read with my children. I love the people around me because I am reminded that each day we have together really is a gift. It really might not happen again.

Paul said it best when he said that these three remain, faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is...love.

Father in heaven, would you please comfort those who mourn the anniversary of that last phone call. Be the Father to those whose Dad is only a picture and a story. Please be the provider for those who lost so much so quickly. Please, Father, won't you please draw us back to You that Your name would be exalted in this country. I pray for the men and women, our soldiers, sleeping outside in filthy conditions. I pray that you would whisper to them of your love and faithfulness. Please do not send them without your presence. God, help us. In Jesus name.

P.S.
I am nervous posting this because I feel it is such a sensitive subject. My prayer is that it will just cause us to pray for those families who have lost families and who have family members gone right this very minute. I also want to remind us all that life is short...love well.

Daddy Wong from Hong Kong!!!

We are a homeschooling family. That means that we usually try to make everything about learning something. It's probably annoying sometimes to the kids when they just want to tell us or show us something, but that's how we are. So, that being said, several weeks ago we had spider egg sacks hanging on our front porch. (Please don't wretch or judge me!) So, in good ole' homeschool fashion I said, "Guys, look at how amazing that web is! Look at that little egg sack. How many eggs do you think are in there? Probably at least hundreds! Isn't that amazing how God has designed spiders? We aren't going to knock it down because spiders eat the other bugs that we don't want around." So, that was that. The spiders were allowed to live (rent free) on our porch. We left for 2 weeks.

Time passes. Apparently the spider lings "birthday" occurred whilst we were away!

We open the door and start the normal dropping and unloading and begin to notice daddy long leg spiders here and there, wait, no they are EVERYWHERE! It was horrific! I felt dirty and negligent. The nerve of those spiders! I had given them a wonderful place to eat bugs and live and now they moved in! How dare they!!! Ella kept saying, "Dere's anudder daddy wong weg!"

This morning I was putting some things away and another stinkin' daddy wong caught my eye. I was so irritated. I wish to heaven I would have DESTROYED the egg sack and then just called Borden to deal with the other bugs that the spiders were no longer able to handle because of their sudden death! Unfortunately I didn't do that. I just let them stay. They seemed innocent enough. You know that daddy long legs are poisonous, but cannot bite, so they are harmless. Why not let them take over. Why? Why you ask? Because this is my house and I do not want them here.

Now, how about my thoughts? I let little spiders build webs all over my brain. I just let them hang out (again, rent free) allowing them to build nests and make their evil plans to take over my brain. What are these "spiders?" Let's see, they can be any number of harmless sins. Worry. Concern for what others think of me. Fear for my children. Irritation with my husband because he isn't more like Jason Bourne (WHAT??? If you know me, you know where that came from) Laziness in thought. I could go on and on. I have found that these harmless spiders produce at a rapid rate and before I know it I am overcome with worry, fear, basic sin in general. One worry is bad enough...but it gives birth to many more and I am unable to trust God because I am so overcome.

So, what to do. Well, I blasted the webs. They ARE amazing! I had the hose on them full force and still had to use a paper towel to get them down. We catch them and flush them or throw them out the door. We do not allow them to stay. We are over them! We've learned our lesson and the lesson is this, "LEAVE NO SURVIVORS!" We must put them to death.

I must do the same. God has been dealing with me in the area of my thoughts. What I take in totally effects what comes out. He has nixed some shows (I saw it coming, but it's still hard) and has been stirring me while it is still dark in order to be with me. Renewing my mind by the washing of His Word. Don't get me wrong, there are still spiders. Just like the one that I found today. They are still making there way in here, but I don't have to tolerate them, or give them food to make them stay. God, who is rich in mercy, has given a way we can be free from spiders in our brain. Those things that seek to steal, kill and destroy us. I am so very thankful for His grace.

No spiders allowed! In my house...or my head!

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

I was looking for another verse, but found this one and though it was just too good not to share...

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade-kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time." 1 Peter 1:3

Note: This summer there was a contestant on Wipeout and her name was DeeDee Wong from Hong Kong...that's just too good not to use! That's where the daddy wong from Hong Kong is from!