Wednesday, March 24, 2010

That's Why!!!

This has been lingering in my brain for some time, and now that the house has fallen silent, I will attempt to get it out...a little something...

Ella is nuts. I struggle with how to relate to her, how to discipline her, how to talk to her. I love her crazy personality. She's hard. I feel like she is constantly getting hurt. Usually it's because she has either been impatient or she just plain doesn't trust me (or she just plain disobeys and gets hurt.) Lately I feel like it's ALL the time. I found myself saying the same thing over and over again, "Ella, that's why we don't __________." A few minutes later, "Why are you crying? Oh, Ella, that's why we don't _____________." Or "Stop, that's enough. If you would have listened to me you wouldn't have ___________." I finally realized what bitter words those were to my little 3 year old. Obviously she gets it at this point. When they bleed, they get it, right? I got it. I got how thankful I was that when I get hurt because I haven't trusted, or I've been impatient, or I have just plain disobeyed, the Lord doesn't say, "See, Ali, that's what happens when we don't wait until we're married." Or "Why are you crying? That's why we don't borrow money we can't pay back." Or "Stop, that's enough, I've answered you and I will not talk about this again."

I have surely received discipline from God. Discipline that I have needed, but it was so much more kind and gentle. It led me to repentance. It didn't embarrass me or shame me. It convicted me and changed me. So, I'm reconsidering my strategy for getting through to Ella. The, "See I told ya so!" Is just not cutting it. I suppose I'll have to pray for a little less me and a lot more Him!

1 comment:

The Severances said...

I can totally (and sorrowfully) relate. Just thinking today about Romans 2:4--"...God's kindness leads you towards repentance." Where would I be without His kindness towards me? I want to lead my little ones with this same kindness. Thanks so much for sharing.
Love you!