GPS…FINALLY!!!!

It's been a while, huh?  I'm going to steal a minute here and share a little something…hopefully we'll all benefit! :)

So, I am with my children all the time.  I am totally fine with that.  This is a decision that my husband and I have made and we are so thankful that they know me…the good, the bad, and the hangry!  (y'all know that's a combination of hungry and angry, right?  Mamas need to keep their blood sugar squared away!)  The only problem with this is that it makes it difficult to serve, sometimes.  There are many things that I cannot do because I have assumed this role in the lives of my children.  I have, however, learned that there is always something for someone to do.  We deliver flowers.

We go to a beautiful church that places flowers on the altar every Sunday.  The next day someone comes to the church and takes the flowers out of the big arrangement and rearranges them into smaller vases to be delivered to shut-ins or lonely or sick or…you name it.  So, we are the someones that show up on the 4th Monday of every month to serve our congregation in this way.  May I tell you that this blesses my heart, and the hearts of my children…but every Monday is a struggle.  It's hard.  We must leave early in the morning in order to get down to church and get our vases (we arrange them…bless our hearts) and decide with our favorite choir director who will receive said flowers.  Then we hit the road.  Oh, and we have to pack our lunches because, well, remember, I get hangry.  We do not school the day we do this, so I lose a day, and until today I have gotten so turned around that we usually spent an additional hour to an hour and a half attempting to deliver these flowers.  One time I sent Anson into a Hardee's to figure out where on earth we were!  I grew up here!  I just cannot find my way…most of the time.  One time, I wish I were making this up, I called Mike (at work…since somebody's gotta work around here) to tell him how mad I was that he didn't get me a GPS and when I was finished that day I was going and getting a new plan and a new phone and he couldn't stop me.  My insanely calm, kind, and working husband said, "That's fine, Babe.  I'll be excited to see what you get."  UGH!  Needless to say, I didn't get the phone that day.  Mostly, because I'm afraid to do that stuff without him!  

So, at last, we turned our Fred Flinstone phone in and upgraded to a phone that could navigate my tail around town.  Now, please know that it's a Wal-Mart family plan phone, nothing fancy.  But, today…it revolutionized my deliveries!  Also, I loved being able to use the internet when I couldn't find a house and had to look up the church's number. (I'll say I couldn't find it NOT because my navigator…we call her Tina…but because I was looking on the wrong side of the road.)  It's amazing what having all of that information at your fingertips can do.  I know, most of you have had this technology for YEARS…so…remember way back to your first time. :)

I want to trust Jesus.  I'm sure that someone has made this connection before, but I loved just doing what Tina told me to do.  I said where I wanted to go (who doesn't LOVE voice text???) and then I followed her directions.  At one point I was a little nervous and my boy said, "Mom, just do what she says."  Uh, alright.  I want to fall back and relax and allow the Spirit to guide me.  Tina just tells me a little bit at a time, but it's always just in time for me to turn.  Doesn't the Lord do the same thing?  He never gives us more information that we NEED.  He will typically give us less information that we WANT, but we always have what we need, every single time.  Everysingletime!  Now, of course I can't tell God where I want to go, like I can Tina, but you get the idea.

Last night at Bible Study the Lord prompted me to invite a new person to come with me.  I thought of a million reasons why I should wait and ask her next time, but then I remembered how I felt every single time I didn't obey…and I asked her.  She couldn't make it today, but she's coming with me in February.  That was little, but it was a victory.  I am also stepping out and starting a small co-op with some friends and I'll be teaching 7/8 graders.  I'm going to be needing a GPS.  I would also love to do more with this blog.  I'm going to be needing a GPS.  I'm so thankful that God's word really is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path.  It's just enough, isn't' it?  I bet I'm not the only one that gets a little lost sometimes.

On another quick, want to encourage you note…what is something that the someones in your house can do?  Stop making excuses.  We all have something to give.  Something to share.  Usually it will cost you time or money…most of the time it will cost you both somehow…but do you know what the watching world needs to see?  Us.  They need to see us moving and putting feet to words.  Hands to the plows.  It's not going to be big.  But to someone it will be the biggest blessing of their day. It fills me up every time and makes me so thankful for Jesus.  Because, you see, when a bunch of someone's needed a rescue from their sin and misery, someOne came up with a plan.  SomeOne put on garments too small for his Holiness and took up tasks too filthy for Kings.  Yet he bent down low, to lift us up.  We are the someones that needed SomeOne and now we have the opportunity to serve others.

Let me be clear to Mamas with little ones.  I get it…I get you…you are serving your children and your family and that is what you are called to.  Here is where the struggle is…you need to serve together.  They will never know how to serve if they don't practice.  It starts in your home.  Serving each other.  Serving your family and neighbors.  It starts with talking about how we put others first and how that is loving Jesus.  Years ago we went to a church and they would serve on certain Saturdays the entire church together and I wouldn't go…couldn't go.  I said that my children wouldn't serve outside my home until they could serve inside my home.  I think that's important.  So, I want to encourage you to train your children in your home so that you can serve together outside your home.  Maybe right now it's baking cookings for a sibling that is celebrating a victory or struggling with sadness.  Perhaps it's meeting Grandma for lunch.  Maybe it's making a meal and having them come with you to deliver it to a new Mom…perhaps one of their friends.  Just don't lose sight of this. We attempt to train their minds academically, we hope to train their hearts biblically, we must train their hands.  We must.  We must train their hands to eagerly look for something to do…for someway to reach back to the One who reached for them.

We do this with GPS.  Ask Jesus and then sit back and do what He says.  You'll certainly end up where you want to go.

I hope to be back soon. :)

Caroline with one of the neighbors chicks.  We are waiting on the rest of ours to hatch!

Our 4 gems after Eleanor's recital at a nursing home in December.  She was the Star of Bethlehem

Mike and I at the beach this summer with the family. So grateful for this man!

I feel like my yard and look like my floor!

My mother- in- law is the QUEEN of knowing exactly what color to buy for virtually anything.  If it's a couch,  coat, or  floor…ask her what color to buy.  Why, you ask?  She's a cleaning lady.  She knows what color won't show dirt.  She's right every. stinkin'. time.  We had a pretty intensely NASTY kitchen floor.  It was sort of off-white linoleum with a  few holes here and there.  The back door gets more use than our toilet so there was always something "showing up."  It was  pretty defeating. I'd sweep it up, the kids would mess it up!  It was this dance we did…only I didn't love it.  So, 2 years ago when we decided that this was our house (before we changed our minds once, but now it's where we'll grow old…maybe) we got new countertops and a new floor.  It's the perfect floor, except for the one awesome thing about it…it doesn't show dirt.  I am somewhat deceived by the floor and was realizing this the other day when I was feeling confident and walking around in bare feet.  BAD IDEA!  I felt EVERYTHING.  I swept the floor, but as I was sweeping  up my pile I realized it's been a while since I have mopped.  (Mostly because I like to keep exercises of futility to a minimum.)  Not seeing the dirt doesn't mean it's not there…it just means it can be hidden.

My children are pretty great.  My marriage is pretty sturdy.  From the outside looking in…there's no real mess.  That is not entirely the truth.  I get mad when I don't get taken out like some sort of princess, my children don't clean up after themselves, they argue, complain, blame and pout.  Sometimes I watch nighttime TV.  This is just what I'm willing to admit.  Sometimes when sin is aired, whether in a story or news or however, I shudder…because God has made it clear that flesh is flesh and no one is worse or better than someone else.  My floor is filthy and God knows it.  Praise His Name that He is the great pursuer. He is the great forgiver.  My floor may be messy for a time…but there is nothing His blood cannot cleanse.   Nothing.

This has been a weird season for me.  I've been sort of irritated with the Lord, mostly a result of my own ungratefulness.  I struggle to believe He'll do for me what He does for others.  I'm thankful that His faithfulness doesn't depend on mine and I'm clinging to the Truth when my emotions lie.  Perhaps it's a season of waiting.  Of being rooted and grounded, but a little pruned.  Like our yard.

For years we have sort of neglected our yard.  I have thought (wrongly) that to spend money on flowers and such was frivolous, and instead allowed our house to look sad and unwelcoming.  Over the the last 2 years we've started making a few changes.  This week we added roses.  They were at Aldi for $4.99 so I picked up 2 to keep our one little rose bush company.  Our hydrangeas that we bought last year, mostly dead, are growing and thriving!  Mike trimmed the bazookas off the gardenias and I am hoping that they will grow.  Really hoping.  They were so big that they weren't even really producing flowers anymore.  I feel like my yard is a picture of hope.  Little plants being watered and cultivated.  We are expecting beauty to be the result of our labor.  That's what I'm expecting in my heart, too.  Beauty.  That when the Lord would look on me, small and a little fragile, He would see the beauty that only comes from a heart that has been properly tended by the Master gardener.

How about you?  Do you ever feel like your floor but look like your yard?  If you do…take heart…you aren't alone.

Happy Monday!

BLOOM!

*Note:  I wrote this a few weeks ago and planned on posting pictures, and couldn't pull it off.  So, here are the words.  Which is why I started blogging anyway…I'm a words kinda gal.  Blessings!


We got SLAMMED!  We knew it was coming.  We even had family members warning us and giving us tips.  I filled up the gas tank and then sort of waited.  It was horrific!  We have a small house that is parked right next to a green space full of TREES!  I haven't been so very frightened in so long.  Most anyone you talk to would tell you the same story.  They just laid there, listening, waiting for the time when the tree comes through the roof. I do know of one family that was SPARED as a tree fell into their bedroom, onto their bed…while she was in it.  How were they spared?  She WALKED AWAY!  Grace.  We lost an Oak tree.  That was very sad and insanely scary as we heard it fall.  I was so thankful when dawn broke.  It revealed what had broken, but we were able to enjoy the light!  Our street is still waiting for the debris to be cleaned up.  Some folks have more than others, but I have been absolutely amazed at some of the trees.


We live on an older street.  We have dogwoods that stretch their beautiful arms high and wide.  We have a wide variety of vegetation and many flowering trees.  Every morning as Sonny and I make our way up the hill I walk by these trees and a few of them surprise me.  When they first went down some of them had buds.  At least I thought maybe they had buds.  Now, as I start my day up that hill I am noticing that some of them are not only budding, but it's like they are going to flower!  These are the trees that are laying on the side of the road waiting to be picked up.  They were bent, broken, and were hauled to the road…debris.  Then they have the audacity to blossom!

I wish I had that sort of audacity.  It's like a stubborn hope.  Do they know where they are?  Do they know that they are waiting to be collected and destroyed?  And yet they bloom?

This has been mulling around in my mind for a few days and today I thought of my time in college.  One of my friends had a "bloom where you are planted" picture hanging in her room.  I don't think we ever joked, but there were times that we said that we shouldn't settle for just being where we are.  Like, we shouldn't remain status quo.  Think what you want, but today I thought, "Bloom where you are broken."  Those trees are stubbornly rocking on.  They have been designed to do something and even in their broken state, they are doing it.

I am all too aware of my broken state.  Spending all day every day with my children reveals way more than I care to mention.  Even my children are beginning to see their broken states.  It's difficult to receive the grace that is ours…or rather, believe that there is grace enough for the journey.  Sometimes I'm afraid that if I don't get a long enough night the mercies won't be new.  Silly, but sometimes true.  Like there has to be some sort of time gap for God's mercies to have time to reboot…or charge up like he's some iPod or cell phone that can't remain charged.  His mercies are new every morning.

Most of us are all too aware of our state.  We aren't ignorant like the trees.  But, can't we learn something from them?  That we would have the audacity to flower!  The stubborn hope that would cause us to continue doing what we were made to do despite our brokenness.

I don't know about you, but that excites me.  The idea that wherever my brokenness makes itself known, God can cause me to bloom.  Won't that be something for the world to see?  A bunch of broken, messy folks, to bloom…bursting wide open with hope that the world is craving.  So, go head…bloom…right where you are broken.

Random

You know what is so very interesting about sitting in the dark?  The sin of your heart is brought to light.  It's a disgusting and glorious thing that God does when he allows us to see those things that don't really resemble the likeness of Jesus Christ.  Then you get to kneel with the family of followers and speak those words that are only possible because of His Spirit.  Standing, then, in the full confidence of forgiveness, we continue to press on.  Then we practice everyday, the confessing, the standing…the falling…again.  I am so very grateful for His words that penetrate my very being.  Always reminding, always reclaiming, always refreshing even when it's dark.  Thankful for the power that turns my lights on and the power that keeps my heart soft.

We memorize a lot of things.  We memorize timelines and history sentences, parts of speech and math facts.  We store large quantities of God's Word and don't watch a ton of TV.  We read good books and say our prayers.  But you know, there is another part of me.  Part of me that I want my children to know.  There is a part that loves old country music and old 80's movies.  A part that craves warm air and saltwater.  Really, a part that is unearthed when my toes are buried in sand.  There is more to me.  I want my children to have good habits.  I want them to be real live people that laugh at jokes and love others.  So, today,  Anson and I discussed George Strait and how "the man" could possibly choose Cheyenne over his lady.  How songs that tell stories are my favorite and George Strait tells a good story.  This Friday night when Mike takes our little ladies to the Butterfly Ball, we'll pop popcorn and I'll finally share my favorite movie…the Goonies.  I may or may not make a big deal out of the little bit of language because Anson loves adventure and I think One Eyed Willie will be a favorite of his like he is mine.  Tonight after they shopped for dresses with me, I explored their fort and "Adventure Corner" in the woods.   Trees littering their "paths" and the sun setting too quickly, we crunched through the woods…them showing me.  See, that's what I'm finding this is, this parenting gig.  I show them, and then if I'm lucky…they'll want to show me.  They'll want to take me by the hand and show me their world…their world with forts and makeshift kitchens and adventure literally waiting at the corner.  I must, MUST, allow them to take my hand.  And I must MUST let them know that there is more to me than IEW and the next First Language Lesson.  I'm enjoying it and I cannot wait to introduce Anson to the Fertelli's!!!!

Also, as I finished up a book titled, The Strong Willed Wife, I have some thoughts that I probably shouldn't put on the internet just yet, but suffice it to say, our culture is wrong about a lot of things.  Even in our sweet Holy huddles, we've got some things backwards.  So, I'm excited to have my heart searched out by the One who made me, and look forward to becoming more and more the person He meant me to be.

Currently I'm getting to know an amazing man named Booker T. Washington.  I am seeing how little I valued, or appreciated my education (especially my college education that was funded by my Dad…I didn't pay a dime).  I want to pass that on to my own children.  People worked HARD to afford their education.  Many risked their lives prior to the Civil War to teach or be taught and post war people would do WHATEVER they had to in order to get to school.  My kids struggle to get to the TABLE after a full night of sleep.  At one point, Booker worked from 4 am-9 am and was allowed to go to school at 9:00 (when school started) but since he had to walk a mile and he got of work at 9, he snuck and turned the clock back. Then, when school was over he had to work for another 2 hours! And…he was no more than 12!  Is this the passion that we have?  Um.  No.  How could we? We have no idea what it is to be illiterate.  At least some of us.  So, education is on my mind.

I suppose that's all. It was a resolution to write, so I am.  It was also a resolution to get to bed on time, so I am going to wrap this up.  I do hope you are enjoying the very place the Lord has you…enjoying Him…and all of the people He has given you!  Thank you for stopping by!

SLOW DOWN!!!

Sheri rolled her eyes as she glanced at the clock.  "UGH, does that say it's 11:30?  I'm going to have to drive home with all of the Amish buggies."  My husband is "English" but he grew up in Amish country.  Sheri is my sister-in-law who has a sweet husband who will put her children to bed so she can visit with her big brother.  My first trip to Mike's home was only a few weeks after we had returned from South Africa.  I knew he was from Amish country, but I had no idea that he really meant Amish country!   His parents share a yard with the Amish on one side, and then 2 doors down on the other side is an Amish farm…and across the street, and down the hill.  It never gets old to me.  A few years ago while we were up I told Mike that I wished I could be Amish and he lovingly smiled and informed me that I wouldn't last 3 hours.  He's probably right, especially in the winter!  It is certainly hard, I'm sure (obviously I don't know myself, but those fences are REALLY long that the ladies paint in the summer!), but the simplicity of it causes me to envy.  Now, I have watched videos and have heard enough…I know they sometimes borrow dryers and have phones in the middle of fields (I've seen them walk to them!), but over all…they are simple people.  While we were there the neighbors had their 8th baby.  Right next door.  It seemed so very magical to me that while we were laughing and playing games and doing our thing….a new baby was entering the world.  A baby girl.  It made me want to wander over and sit in the simple, uncluttered home bustling with children and ask, "How?  How do you continue to fight against a world that is blinking and talking and changing, and continue to raise barns, cows,  and children with so much joy?  How do you remain simple when MORE, MORE, MORE seems to be the new National Anthem?  How do you walk in the light with no electricity while many of us grope around in broad daylight for a piece of quiet and solitude?  How do you do it?  Please, how?"

I am so tired of saying, "No."  "No, you do not need your OWN iPod, or iPad, or Wii time or another movie, or another Veggie Tales, or anything!"  We are pretty lean by the world's standards when it comes to technology and screens, but it is a battle to be sure.  Anson struggles to know that his friends and his cousins (especially his cousins) have access to technology when he is so limited.  I just will not allow mediocre habits to form that will take the place of excellent habits.  Whether it's reading or playing outside…or talking to someone.  This is so stinkin' hard!  I'm a child of the 80's…born in the 70's, but spent my fair share of time running through sewers and riding bikes all over the neighborhood until the street lights came on.  Now we are safe and sound in the comfort of our own homes lulled to numbness by the white noise.  I just want to know how to do it.  I think the Amish have it right with how they surround themselves with community.  They were ALL over the place over the holidays.  Visiting and celebrating.  Caroline stood in the front yard and jumped up and down waving at the buggies as they passed.  The kind faces smiling and waving from the small window made me jealous that I had to return to the busyness of my life.  They drive buggies because they are not in a hurry…which is what drives most people up the wall.

How?  How do we slow down while still working and growing.  How do we balance the changes around us without allowing them to bring change within us?  I really don't have the answer, which is why I wanted to wander next door.  The Lord has certainly been kind in helping keep my life simple.  We have been blessed to live in a  relatively small space which makes many things easy!  My children spend their days with me which limits how much running around I do.  I just hope that the Lord will continue to lead me in simplicity.  There is a certain beauty about it that is breathtaking and alluring…and something I will strive for in 2014.  How about you?  What do you do to attempt a less hurried and more simple life?  If you have any great ideas…please pass them along!

Faith: Lost and found

My poor husband really has his work cut out for him. I am virtually IMPOSSIBLE to surprise.  I love a surprise, I do, I don't seek to destroy his best efforts, but alas…every time!  Until this Christmas.  He pulled off a pretty sweet Christmas, but he had to have his mother purchase the gifts (so I wouldn't find out via the bank statement) and then had the items shipped to her house.  WHAT???  He knocked it out of the park.  No, not diamond studded earrings, but a Pampered Chef stoneware cupcake pan and the biggest surprise?  A "GOONIES Never Say Die" t-shirt.  I really could have burst into tears!  It was such a fun surprise.  Fourteen years earlier, only a few days prior to Christmas he gave me the GOONIES on VHS just a few minutes before slipping a diamond ring on my trembling 22 year old hand and asking if I'd journey with him.  So, it was really precious.  However, this post has to do with what he gave me for my birthday.



I am difficult to buy for (and like I said, impossible to surprise) so I usually have a running list of things that I would "like" that Mike can choose from.  At the top of my list this year was a mustard seed necklace.  I'm sure it was years ago when I first saw one, I may have even owned one, but I really love the imagery.  That really, faith only the size of a mustard seed and I can command mountains to jump into the lake?  So, when I accidentally checked our Amazon account and saw that it had shipped, I was heartbroken. I had done it again.  I ruined it.  So, should I pretend that I didn't know?  Should I act surprised and hope he doesn't catch on?  Well, I confessed and he grinned, knowing it was only a matter of time. I really don't try!  So, he let me have my gift early and I didn't take it off until one Sunday when I realized I had put another necklace on as well, and looked sort of A-Team Mr. T and neglected to put it back on.  Long story short, I went looking for it the other day.  I saw Julia's pretty locket dangling from her neck and remembered that I hadn't put my necklace back on.  Where did I put it?  I checked the pockets of my jewelry organizer thinking I had slipped it in one of the pockets.  Nothing.  I checked my window sill where things sometimes appear.  Nothing.  Dang it!  I made such a fuss over wanting it and then misplaced it so quickly.  And it is so small.  Where could it be?  What will I tell Mike?  UGH!  Why am I so irresponsible!!!

I suppose it's easy to misplace something so small.  As I was searching I thought of how quickly my faith really does disappear. I may be running strong and singing His praises and then my mind is wandering and I'm nearly crippled with fear that I may not be good enough for God or anyone else.  It doesn't take long before I am groping in the dark for something small, something small yet significant that can stop my knees from knocking and my heart from turning cold and unbelieving.  The mystery is something that almost frightens me.   He gives me the faith to believe, that alone is a gift, I can't muster the faith of a mustard seed, it's given to me.  Oh Wondrous Love is This O My Soul!



I did find my necklace.  I had very responsibly placed it in a jewelry box and upon finding it immediately fastened it around my neck, my reminder.  It's not huge, and it's not me.  Everything necessary for a life pleasing to the Lord is given to us from His very hand.  The courage to love strong and submit humbly.  The diligence to correct one more time, in love.  The faith to stare at those  mountains of fear and doubt and with a quivering teeny tiny faith command them  to take the plunge because they've got NOTHING on my Savior…THE Savior of the Universe.  It's just little, but it sure does accomplish big things.  Just like me when I am walking in the Truth,  very little, but in His power, able to accomplish big things.  What might those things be this week?  Lord, give me the eyes to see them, the courage to face them, and the faith to believe that I have victory over them.

I am a triangle.

He's pretty incredible at what he does.  He uses stones as his canvas.  He lives in New York and tries different things with different lighting and photo sensitive paper and is really a neat guy.  She learned Spanish in French with English being her first language.  She just spent 2 years in Cameroon in the Peace Corps.  She's an insane amount of fun.  He writes in Washington D.C. and his Mom glows and giggles when she talks about him.  I could go on…these are my cousins.  I always felt like my brother, sisters and I were like, I don't know…off.  We couldn't "do" anything.  We are fabulous at a party and pretty good with drama.  We aren't really high maintenance and enjoy good food and good music, but we can't really "do" much.  No one in our family has ever pointed that out, except for us, which is usually the case when you think someone is better than you at something.

Every year our church has Evensong.  It's an evening of "Lessons and Carols."  I always enjoy going.  The sanctuary is beautiful with greenery and poinsettias and the music is God honoring and wonderful.  I LOVE "Once in Royal David's City" and this year our children sang.  Actually they did last year, too…but anyway…both the adult and children's choir sing and there is a small orchestra and it's just simply lovely.  It's a great lead in to Christmas to keep our hearts fixed and focused.  This year the cymbals stole the show, however, because they scared the pants off of the children's choir every time they were clapped together. (or banged or clanged…how should that be said?)  You could see the children directly next to the percussion section start to move the other direction when they knew it was coming.  Their faces started to wince a bit while they waited for the clang.  Then it struck and even though they were ready they jumped a little bit and you could see those around them giggle.  I wasn't anywhere near them and they still made me jump a bit.  This year my sisters that live in town were able to come and where they enjoyed the cymbals,  they really got a kick out of the triangle.  I have to admit, when you really watched it, it was sort of funny.  You have all of these big instruments.  The drums you can't miss and the cymbals that no one can deny are there, the horns and so on…the orchestra everyone is all there, then you have…the triangle.  When it's "turn" to shine approaches it is held carefully in the air and then struck at just the perfect time, and "ting," usually only once.  Maybe it has 2 or 3 more appearances and then it is gently laid down to rest.  Ashley and Alex have a combined age of 12 when sitting side by side and they found it so funny.  As I watched it with them, it did seem out of place.  I mean, I own a triangle myself!  It's not the fanciest instrument in the world, but it gets to play in the orchestra!  It doesn't have a huge role, but it's there and when it does it's job, the piece is better for it!

I don't know how to sketch a scene on stone and I'm struggling with a dead language, but y'all…I'm in the orchestra.  I'm not the fanciest, or the biggest, or the loudest (well, sometimes I am) but I have a part.  God has wired each and every one of us to not only "do" something, but to "be" something.  He has created us to "be" something to someone and certainly to the lost world.  It is only when we look to our Creator do we realize that we have any value at all.  We might look silly when we find ourselves next to the cymbals or the horns, but they are part of a whole just like us.  The cymbals can't be a triangle and the triangle can't be a french horn, but when they all focus on the Conductor and play their part, they make music.

So, this year as I learn how to deal with my own issues and struggle to focus on my Conductor and only "ting" when I'm asked, I'm going to be so thankful that I am a part of a bigger picture, an orchestra…and I'm going to pray that the music that is played makes the Conductor proud.

So, I felt like the entire chapter was necessary. :)  Many blessings to you and yours and Happy New Year!  I do have a small resolution regarding this little space, so maybe you'll see, or hear more from me this year.  TING!

PS
None of my cousins know that they are better than us, so please don't tell them! :)
And, in case you are wondering about my cousin that uses stone as his canvas…here he is
And I just remembered that I should note the few things we can do…here we are in order:
Aimee: She kick boxes…her arms are incredible!
Ali: I love people and enjoy helping Moms
Andy: He is AMAZING with people and is a bartender at the Hyatt (my hookup for wine corks to make my awesome wall for the kid's art)
Ashley: can draw unicorns and decorate beautifully
Alex: can recover from Lupus and her house burning down twice and is absolutely the fun aunt!

Concerning Spiritual Gifts

12 Now about the gifts of the Spirit, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. 2 You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. 3 Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.

4 There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. 5 There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6 There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.

7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.[b] 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit,and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.

Unity and Diversity in the Body

12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28 And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues[d]? Do all interpret? 31 Now eagerly desire the greater gifts.

Love Is Indispensable

And yet I will show you the most excellent way.

I am a….

I used to explain what I did before…before what?  Before I did, um…nothing.  I remember being on the phone with some insurance person (or something) and they were like, "Who is your employer." or "What is your occupation."  I don't remember their words but I remember this response, "Actually I graduated and taught for 2 years and then my husband and I decided that I would stay home when we had children so now I get to stay home, I'm a mom."  I did that all.the.time.  People would ask or comment on the fact that I was home and I always had to tell them that there was something I did before I did…um…nothing.  That probably bothers some folks that I say, "nothing."  But when you first come home, that's how it feels. I've been home for 11 years and now I giggle when people ask who my employer is because I really want to say, "My husband."  Wouldn't that be awesome?  I'm going to do it sometime!  I called Caroline, "job security."  That's right, I get to do this awesome nothing for another 18 years!!!  I'd love more security, but the Lord said that right now Caroline is enough. :)  It's always funny when people try to make me feel better about it, "That's the hardest job in the world, being a Mom." I'm totally fine with saying I don't have a job and someone will inevitably comfort me by saying, "Well, you have a job, you just work in the home."  I smile.  I know, I have a job, but it's not that.  It's not a job to me…it's a joy, it's my life, it's my dream.  Teaching was a job. I loved it, but it was really hard.  This is really hard too, but it's not a job.  So, it won't hurt my feelings if you say I don't have a job.  Sometimes I eat peanut butter spoons with random chocolate that I find…on my kitchen floor…can't do that at a  job!  I do, however, know what else I might say to folks that ask me what I do….

The other night I had the privilege of taking a walk with two of my daughters.  There was a time in my life when I just needed "some time."  I'd put my shoes on, instruct everyone to stay with Daddy and I'd take a quick walk up the hill…just enjoy the quiet.  Now, when they ask I allow them and when they don't ask,   I invite them.  I am too aware that one day I'll have quiet so for now I'll take some squeaky girls.  As soon as we began up the hill they asked. "Mom, tell us a good story about when you were a little girl.  A new story."  Now, the real unfortunate end of this is that there just aren't that many good stories to tell.  I didn't come to know Jesus until I was 19 and I was a really hard teenager…one of many in my home.  Their  favorites are when Uncle Andy dropped the mirror and Poppy broke the table.  Um…not the best stories, although they are really funny…in a broken sort of way.  So, I told them about the time I wet my pants when I was 15 because my "friend" (it was my boyfriend, but we haven't had that conversation with them yet) warned me (on Alice Lane on Halloween) that if he heard a shotgun he was leaving and if I wasn't in his truck he would leave me.  Well, there were a bunch of us and we heard something and he took off!  Sally and I went running after the truck, jumped in the bed and fear ran right down our leg!  TMI?  Sorry, it's what I had at the time.  I told you, I don't have much!  They laughed and I laughed.  I remembered sweet Mrs. Hudson told me I could come into her house even if I'd wet my pants and Larry pulled a towel out of his tool box for the ride home.  And…I was sober!  So, obviously I only have PG stories for my girls.  We did talk about why I wasn't kind and why I was hard on Grandma and that I didn't know how to be kind because I didn't have the Holy Spirit and how you'll never regret being kind, but you'll always regret being mean.   They love to hear my stories.  Then there are the other stories we tell them.

Kings and spies and enemies and warriors and temples and this one group of people that just couldn't be faithful.  The One King that rescued them.  We tell that story everyday all day.  This time of year we read the story in the morning and then we read the story again at night.  Tracing Jesse's tree for all of the clues, all of the stories that point us to the One worth telling over and over and over again.  I tell the story in the morning before we find direct objects and divide with decimals.  I tell them the story when tempers flair and words shoot out like venom and burn holes in souls and no one knew it could happen so quickly.  I tell the story when the venom is mine and souls are theirs and I beg for forgiveness for being too quick to speak and too slow to listen.  I tell the story when we thumbtack headliners and talk about Providers.  I tell them the story when Goodwill has curtains and Daddy comes home early.  Then, after our bellies are full with the Provision called supper, we listen to the story again.  All day, from sun up to sun down it's the Story.  It's the best one I have.  It makes all of the other stories not so sad, not so broken, not so "now."  I've got a new Story to tell and I've got everyday to tell it.  I tell it sometimes when I smile instead of scowl.  When I sing instead of scream.  When I praise instead of curse.  I tell them the Story.  I am a Story teller.  I've only got One Story, though.  It's a good One, I thank Him for that.  It's worth telling over and over and over and over again.  I love to hear it, I'll tell you that.  I love to tell it.  That's what I do.  That's how I spend my days.  I am a Story teller, the great news is that the Story is True and it is mine, and yours if you know Jesus.  Have you heard the story?  The story of the broken girl who longed for healing and couldn't believe when she heard the story about the Man who came, left his throne and wealth and palace warm and arrived as a poor carpenter's son?  Then, He grew and became a man that broke the laws that didn't matter to keep the one's that do. He was perfect in every way the little girl wasn't and then He laid down His life to redeem that girl from her miry mess.  If that wasn't enough He introduced her to the One that made her and that One explained why she was bruised and broken and He healed her right up and continues to manage her broken parts to this very day.  That is me!  I was and am that little girl and that One is my King.  He pulled me up and out of that miry pit and put a song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to my God.  So, that's how I spend my days.  I just tell that Story all. day. long.

I Love to Tell the Story

Text: Katherine Hankey, 1834-1911 
        I love to tell the story 

 of unseen things above, 
 of Jesus and his glory, 
 of Jesus and his love.  
 I love to tell the story, 
 because I know 'tis true; 
 it satisfies my longings 
 as nothing else can do.  
Refrain:
 I love to tell the story, 
 'twill be my theme in glory, 
 to tell the old, old story 
 of Jesus and his love.

 I love to tell the story; 
 more wonderful it seems 
 than all the golden fancies 
 of all our golden dreams.  
 I love to tell the story, 
 it did so much for me; 
 and that is just the reason 
 I tell it now to thee.  
 (Refrain)

 I love to tell the story; 
 'tis pleasant to repeat 
 what seems, each time I tell it, 
 more wonderfully sweet.  
 I love to tell the story, 
 for some have never heard 
 the message of salvation 
 from God's own holy Word.  
 (Refrain)

 I love to tell the story, 
 for those who know it best 
 seem hungering and thirsting 
 to hear it like the rest.  
 And when, in scenes of glory, 
 I sing the new, new song, 
 'twill be the old, old story 
 that I have loved so long.

So, I did do something before I told Stories…but now I could do nothing else.

If You Seek Me

So, things get lost around here…misplaced…rehomed…whatever happens they disappear.  We do, however, have only a few places where lost things can hide, so usually we find whatever the treasure is and we all rejoice in our good fortune!  Last night, however, I wasn't looking for anything.  We were doing one of our tidies (because cleaning happens less often) and I was scooting the couch cushions in and found some socks lurking between the couch and the cushion (YUCK) so I pulled those out and figured I'd have a mini treasure hunt to see what I could find.  It wasn't an incredible collection, but always a surprise!  I found a silver necklace, more socks (of course) a knitting needle, one play dog bowl, a princess plate for a tea party, a rock (which for some reason I left there) and some other random  trash (literal garbage…UGH).  My girls showed up and were like, "Yeah, Mom my necklace!"  Or, "That's where that went!"  I didn't go so far as to vacuum (because I didn't want to get carried away) but I did feel a little better knowing what was there…and where it was now.  As I was searching I thought of (I cut and pasted this so it looks funny to me, like we needed a drumroll)

Jeremiah 29:13

New International Version (NIV)

13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I became a Christian in college and most of us didn't have much money, really we only had the money our parents gave us (and how fortunate that our parents had money to give us!) so we couldn't go to LifeWay or some Christian bookstore and purchase "inspirational" items.  Mugs or picture frames with scripture on them. So, we just scratched the verses on pictures or wrote them on index cards and miracle of miracles, the Lord wrote them on our hearts!!!  I remember we had Jeremiah 33:3 on a poster of a small child on the phone.  Funny…anyway!  I love the promise here.  You will seek me and FIND me! We won't end up on some horrible end of hide and seek with the Lord.  The sort where one of the two quits and doesn't tell the other.  Then the seeker is seeking for nothing or worse, the one hiding is hiding for a really LONG time in a dark and cramped space!  It's happened to all of us…at least those of us who were children in the 80's when those games were still played with the neighborhood kids.  No, this isn't that.  This is a promise to those of us LOOKING…we will FIND!  As I searched the couch last night, I wasn't looking for anything in particular, just looking and I found some stuff.  It's even more thrilling when you are looking for something in particular and you actually find it!  We've had lost wallets, shoes and please Heaven help the homeschool families find all of the library books!!!  We could feed a small nation (actually probably a large one) with our fines!  There is such great celebration when you find what you were looking for.  The same is true in this case.  If you are truly seeking the Lord…you will truly find Him.  The unfortunate truth is that most of us aren't seeking Him.  We're seeking His goods.  We want what He can do for us, not what He can BE for us.  Our Redeemer, or Lord of Lords, our King of Kings.  That's what we'll find.  We are moving into the Season where we all look like Seekers.  We all look like people who want to find that sweet baby who was born to bear our sin and sorrows.  We are all looking for our Savior, wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in the manger…let's really look.  Let's really be seekers…the sort that find.  And when you do, when you have found the treasure that is God Almighty, don't hold back…CELEBRATE!  It's no small thing to be reconnected with the very One who bought your soul with unperishable goods…the precious blood of His Son.  Go…look…you'll find Him and you'll never be the same again!

Perspective

I want to serve with my children.  I don't want to drop them off someplace to go and serve the Lord.  Something about that bothers me.  So, when the opportunity to deliver flowers arose (ha...a-rose) I decided to walk forward and pursue the opportunity.  Our church has quite a history.  Quite.  There are many Saints who have served and given and loved the Lord through First Presbyterian Augusta, and now many of them cannot join us any longer.  They are too frail, or suffer weakened immune systems, or their minds have become fuzzy and they spend their days "shut-in."  On Sunday mornings we have beautiful flowers on the altar.  They are lovely!  So, on Monday, someone comes to the church, organizes individual bouquets and delivers them to these dear Saints.  The first time we went we followed another person who has been doing this for years.  She was so very helpful and I was hoping to follow her for a few months.  We did, however, need help on other days.  So, I took the 4th Monday.  My children were nervous not knowing what to expect, honestly, so was I!  Our sweet choir director plotted my course and even printed out directions in order.  (That's right, I lack navigation technology.)  So, we made our bouquets, Julia and I, (that alone is worth it...working side by side my daughter) while Caroline drank from the water fountain (for like 45 minutes) and Anson and Ella cleaned the sanctuary for bulletins.  We got 3 vases that were arranged quite nicely for amateurs and loaded up for our adventure.  We visited 3 ladies.  Precious ladies.  I won't go into every meeting, but this is what I walked away with.  I will have some serious "me time."  Like, serious.  I will have hours, even days all to myself and from the way these ladies ushered us into their immaculate homes...I won't want it.

Mrs. Toole raised 4 boys.  When I mentioned that we had soccer that night she said, "Oh, that's so much fun!"  I muttered something about how I bet with 4 boys she probably never thought she'd have some quiet time and she said, "And now I just say, 'Lord, what should I do today?' "  She's 92, she's got "me time."  She was encouraging and no one cares if my children touch their things or even lay on the floor with their 2 year old dirty croc feet on their white walls.  In fact, they tell us to please come back when we can stay longer.  We can go to the park together.  I leave with my passel of children, they close the door and it's quiet...again.

I struggle with keeping a clean house.  Like, really struggle.  There's always dog hair and random stuff all over the place.  We pitch in and try and within a few hours...sometimes a day or two...we're back again.  Fighting entropy that's what we're doing.  This fallen, chaotic world doesn't stay clean for long when there is so much life in the home.  So. much. life.  Thank you, Lord!

There will come a time when my books will all have a place on the shelf because one day I'll say goodnight to the moon for the last time.  One day, the kitchen in the living room will become dusty and a 2 year old will be 20 years old and will be working in a big kitchen.  One day the boy's magic tricks will not litter the floor because he'll be out of here doing something awesome like translating Bibles.  My pioneer ladies will have traded their bonnets and aprons for real work clothes...hopefully aprons! I'll walk into my house and I'll know where my brush is because my girls won't have used it and neglected to put it back.  It will be quiet and orderly.  Somehow, I think that I'll hate it.  I don't know that I want all that me time.  I think I want "we time."  I want to make the most of these fleeting moments.  Even on weeks like this one when the education we are all getting is how desperately we need Jesus.  When asking for forgiveness happens far more than asking what a subjunctive conjunction is and what kind of sentence you find it in.  Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant  only matter because, "I love, you love, he, she, it loves, we love, you love, they love" is only possible because He loved us first.

We did have an opportunity to clean today, and move some furniture around.  I know it's good to have an orderly home, I just want to be aware of how quickly it won't be so hard.  So, I took some pictures so you can see what it looks like now.   Sometimes I think about sharing how we school, but then think that probably it wouldn't be that interesting. :)  So, I just want to give a shout out to all the Mamas out there that are really stinkin' tired.  Hold on...do what you need to do to get a little rest, but don't be too dramatic, because you've got some serious "me time" in the years to come. Serious.

 This is how I see my house most of the time.  I am in the kitchen looking through our little pass-thru.  See the pink Crocs on the table?  That crazy girl!  I think those are her dirty clothes...anyone want to join us for a meal?  HAHAHA  My desk needs to be cleaned off, but Anson and Julia cleaned theirs.  Maybe I'll give you a tour one day, mostly because I think it's fun to see what other folks do with their space, so maybe I should share.  My Julia turns 9 tomorrow and that is hard to believe.  You know what she wanted?  A slate.  Yes, a slate.  I love her.  I'll be back, sorry I've been gone so long...also I'll update you on life after the juice.   For now...I gotta hang balloons!

Day 10...Looks Like We Made It!!!

Hooray!  Day 10!  I stayed up last night making our soup (I think I mentioned that) and was so excited to come home from church and enjoy a nice WARM meal, rather than a cold drink.  It was SO worth it.  I didn't nibble a bit as I prepared lunch, which was certainly tempting!  I'll blog through the pictures! :O)  I will say that our scale broke a few days ago, or at least stopped being accurate, so Mike went out and bought a new one this morning.  It isn't digital, so the weight isn't exact, however here are the figures.
Starting weight: 164.4
Ending weight:  154 ish
I don't feel like the pictures did a very good job at showing much of a difference, maybe that's why people take those types of pictures with less clothes.  Oh well!  The other number that I'd like to share, but don't have available, is the cost.  We borrowed the juicer, which saved us $300.00.  We borrowed the high-end Breville and it was certainly key in our being able to complete this little adventure.  The trips to the store were every 2-3 days at probably $40-$60.00/ trip.  That's after the initial trip where we bought all organic and spent $120.00.  Why would I say that?  To let you know that this isn't something we want to go back on.  We wouldn't mind doing a 3 day fast in the future for a reboot, but we don't want to put ourselves in this way again.  We want this to be the starting point, not the end only to have to come back and do it again.  We will juice every morning, the children as well, and perhaps we'll juice another meal at random points, maybe the weekend.  I think the greatest advantage of completing this is just that: completing it.  I said no to Mom's homemade cookies today (although she did break off a piece and put it in my mouth...yum) and just plain do not want to overeat.  I've got most of our meals for the week planned, including snacks.  I'm finding my way in this, and hope that I'm on the way to a healthy body that can serve the Lord for a long time.  If you are considering this I would say that you should find an awesome juicer and a buddy.  Like most things, this will be easier with someone who knows what you are doing and wants you to succeed.  I had my husband and my best friend. (Note, my husband is my best friend, but also my best friend Kelli is juicing) I also think you need a goal.  Not a weight loss goal, per se, but a finish goal.  Decide (ahead of time) how long you are going to juice and what you are going to do next.  Knowing when you finish and what you have to look forward to are key in being able to press on.  Then,  do it.  Make your mind up ahead of time and just juice it! Below are a few pictures, some pertaining to juice, and others to what I was doing while juicing!

Caroline was not cleaning the bathroom, but her sister was! I love that my children are old enough to help with these tasks, and they are pretty good at it!  

For math this year we are switching gears.  Time Life put out some math books that we are using and this was a game we made up based on one of the "lessons" from the book.  It's a rendition of ski ball only the bags are marked $.25, $.50, $.75, and $1.00 so they had to keep score with money rather than points.  This is for my girls, Anson uses Saxon.  

Here's Jules hoping for $1.00 because I said I might give them the amount they scored.  At the sound of this, Anson wanted to play rather than watch!

This is my Ella.  She's in 1st grade!  When I see my house in pictures I get overwhelmed. There is stuff EVERYWHERE!   She's in the kitchen/laundry room. :)

Mr. Bigstuff!  

This was a cool and rainy day, so I said yes to hot chocolate and marshmallows.  Remember...I'm sipping on juice while they are sipping on hot chocolate!

I caught this sweet picture.  My Caroline LOVES books.  I think most 2 year olds do, but mine especially. :)

Cheese-a-Rita!

After Julia scored over $7.00 I told them they could keep $2.00 of their earnings.  Only putting myself out $6.00...which is bad math on my part!  They all bought altoids with their "earnings" mostly because they love the tins they come in.  The large tins are perfect for Legos.

Alright, back to the fast.  This is lunch today.  My other girls wanted to stay with my Mom for another round of church, so it was a smaller celebration.

This is the Acorn, Apple, Carrot soup and a simple spinach salad with strawberries, walnuts and a balsamic vinegar dressing.  I'll eat the soup a few times this week for lunch.

This was dessert.  It TOTALLY handled my sweet tooth.  Everyone agreed.  These are simple and most people have everything you need right in your pantry.  All I needed to purchase was the coconut oil, which was on my list anyway.  Alright, below are my befores and afters.  I put the skirt on, but didn't want to change my shirt, can you tell a difference?  It's OK if you can't.  I can see a small difference here, but a bigger difference in how I feel and how my clothes feel on me.  Also, I should have shut some doors...good grief! I'm such an amateur a this whole picture blog thing.  So, now you know what's lurking behind all the doors.  

YAY for Team Wessner!  We started and finished and will continue this healthy habit daily.  Here are a few things that I will take away:

1. It isn't impossible to say, "No."

2. There will always be a chance to eat, for instance at the shower, I'll get to eat that food some other time. I didn't HAVE to eat it then.

3. I should not eat until I'm sitting at the table.  No snacking while making meals.

4. My husband is the BEST!

5. The Lord may come get me whenever He wants, but I want to be able to say that I tried my best to take care of the things He gave me.  My body and my family being the biggest things.

6. Trying something new feels good.  Learning how to do something helps me remember what it's like and be kinder to my children as they learn.

7. Fasting is extremely beneficial and needs to be exercised more often in my Spiritual life.

I'm sure there are more things, but I'll leave you with that for now.  Thank you so much for checking in.  Blogging this experience helped me to stay focused and in a way it was a source of accountability.  I didn't want to post the "I just couldn't do it" story.  Because, I could...and I did.  Now, tomorrow, I'll try again.  My motivation will be to depend on Jesus, not food to make me content and to serve the Lord no matter what I do.  So, I'll keep you posted!  Have a wonderful week!