Let me start by saying, I think if I were Jacob I would have cried "Uncle!" when wrestling with God. I feel like as life gets harder I just get weaker. I suppose that could be exactly how it's meant to be. Last week one of my journal entries read, in all caps, "LORD, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME???" The response, "Yes, yes I am." There is still way too much of my own agenda on the line and I do have some more dying to do in order to be more like Christ. He is good, and I'm sure He's going easy on me, but I have been struggling. To the post...
Roughly a year ago (maybe a year and a half) I was invited to a clothing party. Let me preface this by saying I am alot of fun at a party...or so I've been told. I usually break the ice, and keep things moving. I enjoy a party. I will not, however, be the big spender. I usually go with one thing in mind and I leave with that one thing. For instance, I went to a cookware party a few months ago. I needed a bar pan (remember I broke mine to pieces) and a mixing bowl (I threw my other one on the floor in a fit of rage...seriously...and I LIKED IT! it was plastic) I left with those two things and a safety knife for kids. I'm just not the one you REALLY want at your party. So, at this party we were trying on clothes. It was fun, I had lost a little bit of weight and this one skirt felt phenomenal! I could spin in it, and it was a size smaller than I usually wear. I loved it. I did not go to the party with this skirt in mind. In fact, I knew I wasn't going to buy anything. I just couldn't. I did, however, LOVE the skirt.
Time passed. I stayed home from church one Wednesday night with a sick child and when Mike came home he dropped a plastic garment bag in my lap. "What's this?" I asked with a smile. I thought maybe I had loaned someone something and they returned it in this particular bag. "Tandy gave it to me, she said it was yours." I had no idea what he was talking about. "What? What is it?" I pulled the plastic up and would you believe it was that skirt!!! "WHERE DID THIS COME FROM??? DID YOU BUY THIS FOR ME???" No, ladies, he did not...I know, that would have been sweet...I think it's even better. I called Tandy and she said that another woman purchased the skirt for me. WHAT??? I immediately called the other woman to thank her...not to try to give it back!
Do you know what her response was, "Well, I had saved my money, and there wasn't anything that I felt as good in as you did in that skirt. Watching you spin around and look so nice, I just wanted you to have it." Yes, that's the truth. She just saw how much I enjoyed it and wanted me to have it. It wasn't cheap. She had saved her money to buy something for herself, and instead purchased something for me. So, I hung it in my closet and never wear it, for fear that I will ruin it.
Wouldn't that be a waste? Her money would be so wasted if I never pulled that skirt off the hanger. The reason she bought it was because I enjoyed being in it! I didn't hang it up and gaze at it and talk about it at the party. I tried it on. I spun around. I talked about how perfect it would be with a pretty sweater and some nice brown boots. "It's so versatile! You can wear it with everything!" She bought it because she knew I would love it, I would wear it...I'm sure she would be happy to see it worn out in my closet. That would be money well spent. A gift that was used, enjoyed, worn out and loved.
What have you got hanging in your closet? What gifts have you been given that you don't really want to get messed up? Maybe you are afraid you'll get a hole in them, or you can't find anything to wear with them. Maybe the gift that is hanging in your closet is your salvation. Maybe you have invited Christ to be Lord of your life, and you have the gift of salvation...of Life EVERLASTING and there it hangs. Pretty as a picture. Maybe you go in and look at it, you stroke it, try it on every now and then...and put it back, afraid to enjoy it because you don't want to get it dirty, you don't want Christ to look bad.
It would devastate my sweet friend if I never wore that skirt. She didn't want a thank you note, I'm not indebted to her forever because she spent her hard earned money on me. Her only request was that I ENJOY the skirt.
Christ left heaven. He put on flesh. He walked with us. He laughed with us. He cried with us and for us...then He died for us. His life for ours, not an even trade. He was the only one that could restore us with God. "The wages of sin is death, but the GIFT of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23 We didn't ask for it, we didn't save for it, we didn't die for it. The least we can do is enjoy it.
What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
Let's not work our fingers to the bone trying to repay. As we enjoy God, everything, and I do mean everything will fall into place.
Honestly, I have struggled to enjoy Him. I've struggled to enjoy anything these days. I know that I will only enjoy Him if I am spending time with Him. I think I'll go do that now. Spin around, ladies...enjoy that gift...we thank Him, by enjoying Him.